Fitness Park

ya... uh... hi.

2009-09-29T13:10:00.002-05:00

Wow... it's been a year. Okay, over a year.

I just read my last post. Hmmm... sounds like I gave up on weight loss.

I did.

I paid for it (as half the weight I had lost is back... and in a very short period of time).

I grew increasinly frustrated. I was walking 3 miles a day. Keeping my calories in check. All that I gained was sore feet, low self esteem and total frustration. Yuck.

Then of course I gained the 30 lbs in 3 months. So I'm back to it being my main focus in my life. Which I hate. I don't like that my entire life has to revolve over my physical activity and food. It's a lot of work. It's not fun. It's frustrating.

I am now seeing an endocronologist for my thryoid disease. She's got a much lower goal for my TSH. While I've already learned that this is not going to make losing weight easier, I am hoping that I won't be so sore, achy and tired all the time (and let's hope my frickin' hair stops falling out).

So I'm not sure how much I'll be blogging about it. I do find it theraputic to have to write down how I'm doing on a regular basis. There's a certain level of accountability that I think I need. So... we'll see. (just wish the seats on this wagon had seat belts so I didn't keep falling off!)

Those Generic Flu Like Symptoms!

2008-08-04T11:48:00.002-05:00

So the 6 month follow up for my thyroid was productive. My numbers had spiked again (putting me high, even by the old scale). So the doc doubled my dosage. Just like the first time I started taking medication, it took a lot longer than I expected to start seeing any difference.

I'm still seeing some hair loss, but my energy levels aren't as bad as they were. I'm not as achy... oh, and screw the weight loss thing. I've given up trying to lose weight. I simply can't care about it. I'm trying to stay active and eat healthy, but the stress of trying to lose weight, with no results, just frustrates me and I stop completely. Not a good thing. It's more important to just be healthy. I can live being 40 lbs overweight.

While I am feeling better, I'm still dragging a bit. I describe it like I'm just about to come down with a bug. You know that achey tired feeling you get when you run a low grade fever? That's kind of how I've been living my life... and for some time now. To the point that it feels "normal" to me. It does make the workouts a struggle. So I'm guessing we still need to tweak the medication a bit, but it's just a quality issue at this point.

a long over due update

2008-06-26T06:45:00.002-05:00

Well, it's been a while again. Frustrated isn't even the word anymore. While Matt and I are still walking on a pretty regular basis (a little over 3 miles 4 times a week), I've cut back on how many days and I'm not tracking my food. When we were walking 3 miles, 6 days a week, and I was eating 1200 calories a day, I simply wasn't losing any weight. I felt worse and simply had to cut back to a more comfortable exercise ratio.

Quite frankly, I'm doing bare minimum for a healthy life style and simply not worrying about the weight loss. I know that I need to drop 30-40 lbs, but I'm so tired of not getting any results, no matter what I do.

I just had my 6 months follow up on my thryoid and waiting for the results. I have to say that over the last month, I've been seeing some of the symptoms return (again a little more hair loss and fatigue). We'll see. I also don't know if my doctor is using the updated scale or the old scale. (the new scale puts me in hypothryoid mode since my 20's). So I'm hoping that there's still some tweaking to be done so that I'll feel a little less tired all the time.

Just got tired of talking about it

2008-03-10T13:58:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I took a longer break than I meant to. I simply got tired of constantly talking about what I was doing while not really seeing any results. Gets irritating.

So the first update is that the thyroid disease seems to be under control. I had my follow up blood work, and it seems that my current level of medication is appropriate. Sadly, I didn't "feel" better as quickly as I had hoped. Took almost 3 months before my hair wasn't falling out and my energy levels are now what I think are "normal" (meaning I can do the dishes without exhausting myself).

I will say that between the holidays, the sedatary by product of the fatigue and the medication, my weight kind of "blossomed" at the end of the year. So it was time to concentrate and stop making excuses.

Luckily, we have a new park down the road from us. Matt and I have been walking practically every day and I'm feeling the benefits of it. We started with just one mile and we're up to 3.

Some of the weight came off right away. Just watching my portions, making better food choices and some moderate activity took off 5 lbs. Then it stopped. Again. I lost 5 lbs in January, and absolutely nothing since. Oh the joy! So while my medication might be helping with some of my symptoms, it still seems that weight loss is going to be a serious struggle for me.

So I'm back to working with FitDay so I can make sure I'm not over eating (which is soooo easy to do) and hopefully that will knock a few more pounds off.

So hopefully I'll be a little better about posting here (but I haven't been blogging much on my other blog either. Maybe I'm just tired of my own voice?)

The Update

2007-11-16T09:44:00.000-05:00

Thanks Tracey for the reminder... I sort of forgot to give an update, didn't I? This isn't my "main" blog and I like to keep that one focused on knitting.

So yes, the doctor's appointment went well. I like this doctor. I feel he listens to me and doesn't shrug off my concerns. He ran every possible blood test imaginable (or so the lab nurse said as she was drawing blood. She didn't appreciate the work and let me know it).

Anyway, as expected, I have a hypothyroid. I was a walking "symptom" of it, but the problem is that there are a lot of issues that have the same symptoms... including perimenopause.

So now it's a matter of figuring out the right dosage of synthetic thryoid hormones, and from what I can tell, it's kind of a trial and error thing. Starting off with a small dose and increase it until my numbers are in range.

It's been 3 weeks and I'm seeing some improvement, but it's definitely not an overnight cure. My hair loss is much less noticable (when I wash my hair I'm getting maybe half the fallout that I was) and some of the achiness is gone. However, I still get easily fatigued, but that also might just be from being so inactive for such a long period of time.

I am easing back into working out again. I'm trying to do a mile a day on the treadmill and I'm keeping to a very light pace (2.5/mph) and it still wipes me out (but then so does doing laundry). I have to remember that I can't jump back to an hour with Yourself!Fitness, but work my way back towards it.

So hopefully I'll get back to a regular workout routine and back to some weight loss. I'm realistic to not think just being on thyroid medication is going to magically make my extra 30 lbs disappear. I just hope it gives me a little more energy to do some semblance of a workout.

The Current Status

2007-10-22T07:41:00.001-05:00

I know I haven't been keeping up on this blog. I simply haven't had the energy to be working out. I thought it was just a phase (a little workout burnout), or that I'm starting to slow down a bit as I get closer to 40.

However, some other issues have come up and I'm off to see the doctor this morning.

I'm not sure which I'm more worried about: him finding something or him not finding something.

Either way, I'm tired of it all, so I hope there is some kind of solution.

Back to my own cooking

2007-07-02T10:25:00.000-05:00

So I'm back to having to track my own food again and I'm actually looking forward to it. Taking a month off not having to really worry about what I'm eating was nice, but I actually enjoy cooking. I even enjoy the challenge of tasty healthy cooking.

I'm very lucky as Matt is very open minded about what he eats. Our biggest issue as a couple, eating wise, is volume. Now that Matt has switched from weight loss to being athletic, he simply needs more food. I think he feels very guilty that he gets to eat a lot, while I'm in a strict calorie range.

When my workouts start to burn 1200 calories a pop, I'll get to eat like that too (ha ha... I'm thrilled when I burn 350 calories in a workout!).

Speaking of workouts...I'm thinking that it might be time to upgrade my step bench. When I first started using Yourself!Fitness all those years ago (how long has it been? Well, it came out before Halo 2, that I do know) I didn't think I would want to use a step bench, but after working with Maya for a while, I felt I needed the challenge. However, I wasn't sure that with my bad knee, a step bench was a good idea. So I got a small cheap one. It has only two levels: 2" and 4" and it's not very wide. Now the step workouts are actually my favorite (nothing puts my heartrate up as much as the step workouts). So I'm thinking I might splurge on a better quality, bigger (and quite possibly higher... 6" even?) step bench.

I'm still eagerly anticipating the next gen version (and I'll have to decide which system I'm going to splurge on first... I'm guessing the 360... depends on the release date on the new Ratchet & Clank game. I'm looking a lot more forward to it than Halo 3... then there's that whole cost comparison, etc). Anyway, I'm very interested to see what things are included with the new verion!

Nutrisystem Review

2007-06-27T18:05:00.000-05:00

Well, I've got to confess that the Nutrisystem program accomplished what I had hoped: It got me back on track. The weight is slowly (as always) coming off and I'm sticking to my workout.

While I don't think anyone can consider this the best solution (you don't learn how you need to cook and eat for yourself), it's a great jump start. The focus on lots of veggies is great (and since you do have to do that yourself, it's something that translates over to a regular eating plan).

I will say I'm glad I was already on a higher fiber diet. This would've caused a great deal of discomfort if I hadn't already been used to it.

So I'm gonna review what I liked and didn't like about the program.

First, there is no fish (yes, I had two meals with tuna, but both were really bad. The Tuna Noodle Casserole was the one I actually threw away). I am not a vegetarian, but I don't like eating meat for every meal. There are several really good vegetarian meals (and the minestrone soup was an absolute favorite), but I enjoy having fish at least one (or twice) a week.

Some of the food is absolutely deliscious (see minestrone soup above) and some was gagginly awful. I would expect that. However, you can custom order your food selections and so after the first month, it would be easy to pick and choose what suits your taste.

Since the meals are almost all MRE, there can be a texture problem. All the pasta was a little over done for my taste. However, the "add hot water" meals were preferable. While I know that the idea behind this program is that it's a heat and serve, I would've preferred to do a little more cooking (like the pasta) to get a more satisfactory result.

While the program, is very easy for the most part, you are still responsible for some decision making on what you eat. You need to add your own dairy, some protein and your fruits and veggies. Guidelines are provided to help make your choices (and portions). Again, I think these can easily translate to anyone's own meal plan when they are done with Nutrisytem.

So there's a huge convience, which is good. Some of the food was tasty, which is good. The food is proportioned and controlled, which is good. However, some of the food was awful, there's no "education" to help you learn how to eat properly when you are done with the program. It's a high fiber diet, which some might find uncomfortable in the beginning. It's a little on the pricey side.

So overall, I think it was a good idea for me. I had been rebelling again using a "program" like this, as I'm cocky enough to think that I should be able to do it on my own. Well, after 3 years of a plateau, followed by complete frustration, it's what I needed to get myself kick started again. My weight is down, and I'll probably make my 4 lbs loss goal by the end of the month.

I will translate some things from the program to my everyday lifestyle. One of the things I got into the habit of doing is making a huge salad, eating it, then making dinner. I wasn't starving while I was cooking and I found I enjoyed my food more. I'm also going to make sure that I keep to the higher protein and higher fiber. I can also review all the lables from the packaged to see how they break down their caloris/fat/carbs/fiber and protein. I can then use a similar formula for my own cooking.

So while I'm pretty much done with my one month of being on the system, I feel it was worth it for me. If for nothing other than just to get my focus back and get back into the habit of being aware of what/how much I'm eating.

I also wanted to thank blakbyrd797 for the super explaination as to why triceps are the last worked in an upper body workout! Thanks!!! (and for anyone else who wants to know, just check the last entry's comments!!!)

Saving the triceps for last?

2007-06-24T09:53:00.000-05:00

I've been back working with Maya for a month or so now, and yikes she makes a difference. While my arms are still one of my many problem areas, there's a huge improvement on their shape. Doing Yourself!Fitness compared to the treadmill simply gives my upper body a better workout.

I've been cycling thru 3 of Y!F workouts: the weight loss (or cardio... there's not much difference. The weight loss is a steadier heart rate zone workout compared to the cardio that takes up to your max, then back down then back up again, etc), the upper body and the flexibility.

I simply don't bother with the core or lower body. All of the workouts includes a core workout in it and I simply don't like the lower body... too many lunges (which I can't do anyway). Yes, all the workouts include some kind of lunge, but I just use a different leg/quad exercise in place of it.

I just finished the upper body workout this morning, and she always saves the triceps as the last weight exercise (before the core that she sneaks in at the end). This seems to be fairly typical of upper body workouts. I know that my previous routines always had the tricep workout last too... yet they are by far the hardest to do, and I'm always fatigued by the time I get to them. I wish I could reverse the order of the workouts with Maya (starting with the triceps and ending with the chess presses). I think I would get a better workout by changing the order occassionally.

Something to research perhaps? Why are triceps saved for last???

Trying not to get discouraged

2007-06-21T15:09:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been strictly following (well, almost strictly) the Nutrisystem plan since June 1. I ate lunch out one day and had one or two things "off menu". Which really isn't much.

Haven't seen much impact on any weight loss. I'm working out more again. Back to almost daily workouts and by my math the Nutrisystem plan is about 1200 calories.

There just hasn't been much change on my weight.

Now, I'm the first to admit that I'm extremely impatient, and it's kinda hard to know what I actually weight (it can flucuate 3-4 lbs on a daily bases... which is why I don't like to weight myself very often). I was hoping to be below 160 lbs by the end of the month, but that's not going to happen (that would've been a 4 lb weight loss over the month- a realistic goal).

I think one of the reasons I didn't see the "big drop" with the weight is that I wasn't far off of a 1200/calorie a day diet (and I don't care what they say... this being "low carb" makes no difference. Yes, I'm eating a lot more veggies which is much healthier, but I don't think this low carb diet is really better for weight loss. I still put that on the calorie in vs. calorie out... and I think I'm proof of that).

Again, I think I'm back to the "low hanging fruit" options being already gone. The high calorie snacks, the portion control has already been changed... and that's how I lost the first 60 lbs. Smarter choices, portions control and adding physical activity to my diet. Now that they are part of my lifestyle, I don't have the easy changes to make... and the rate of lose is much much slower.

I think this plan was a great idea for me (and some of the food was awful... I did throw out one meal) but some of it has actually been very good... and things I would add to my regular meal plan. It also emphasises, that no matter what I do, I can not lose weight any faster than a half pound a week.

I just wish I could remember that it DOES come off... and that this lifestyle is all worth it in the long run.

Thanks Maya!

2007-06-12T08:27:00.000-05:00

After my last physical challenge with Yourself!Fitness, Maya decided to up the difficulty on my workouts.

I've been at this level before, and I struggle a bit with the new exercises. Several I simply can't do due to my knee, so I have to modify them a bit. However, I'm feeling the extra work.

One of the things I'm noticing lately is that I can't break thru the warmup fatigue. You know when you first start working out and your muscles scream in pain, but as you warm up, you can break thru that and move on with your workout. I'm not ever getting past that initial fatigue. I'm sore and tired from start to finish. I'm not sure this is good, meaning that I'm working hard or if it's an indication that I'm working too hard or if there's some sort of other problem...

Either way, I'm still pounding away and hopefully my body will adjust to the increased difficulty.

We Be Body Movin'

2007-06-05T08:15:00.000-05:00

We need body rockin' not perfection...

I have to give kudos to people that are consistant with a daily workout (say, like Matt). I'm sooo bad at doing a workout if I'm thrown off schedule for the day, then I get out of schedule. The workouts were non existant over the weekend. However, I've learned a long time ago that you can't beat yourself up over the past... you can only control the future. So I'm back to work.

The problem that I've been having for the last several years is the "low hanging fruit" fixes have been done. The eating habits have been pretty consistant, I've removed most of the junk from my diet, my portions are well in control and are very much a habit now. Removing the easy stuff (high calorie snacks and soda) helps a lot in the beginning, but when it's no longer a part of your lifestyle, there just aren't many easy changes to make.

That means working out. I can't go below 1200 calories a day for food, so I need to get that deficit somewhere else... I have to shoot for 500 calories burned a day in workouts. That's hard for me (and for most people) as I haven't found that "thing" that I'm passionate about like Matt has.

So I'll trudge along with Maya waiting excitedly for the new Yourself!Fitness and realize that we need body rockin' not perfection!

Stupid Knee!

2007-06-01T16:46:00.000-05:00

I ended up taking yesterday off... thanks to my knee. I'm not sure if it was the hard workout the day before. I sure do love the upper body workout with Yourself!Fitness... all those lunges are so beneficial for my upper body... Actually, I do love the upper body, as I do think it's a "complete" workout, doing all areas with the weight training. I just won't do the lunges, instead I switch the lower body section to my old post knee surgery rehab exercises.

I think that it made my knee a little fatigued and I had some "plant and twist" issues yesterday. Today was fine, and Maya and I did our regular cardio workout (step bench and all).

Matt has a big race tomorrow (Mt. Penn in Reading) and it's one I like to go to... it's so hard, that the field gets stretched out, so it's fairly interesting to watch. Plus he's a climber and loves the heat... so I'm hoping he has a good day. However, I can't go due to a class.

It also mean that today is a light day for him workout wise (meaning just a 30 minute spin on the trainer). So I got on my bike and did it with him... so I snuck in an extra 30 minute work out today.

Which is good... tomorrow is going to be a busy day and getting my workout in is going to be hard.

Ya, remember how I said it wasn't about the weight?

2007-05-29T07:43:00.000-05:00

Well, I did weigh myself this morning. And it's bad... very bad. While I'm trying to focus on just being more active and getting back into the routine of daily workouts, the weight is high enough to be a concern.

It's not a "vanity" thing, but I know that extra weight has an impact on some of my health concerns, and I'm officially concerned. I know that my cholesterol is probably not good again and that does not make me happy... especially as I know that my hormones are changing. My health risks will sky rocket post menopause and I need to keep that cholesterol with in a healthy range.

I'm only working with Yourself!Fitness for 30 minutes a day, and I'm still struggling a bit keeping up for that length of time. I, however, need more cardio than 30 minutes a day... so I'm going to have to do 2 a days... at least a couple of times a week.

I'm also going to cheat by using a packaged diet meal plan. Part of me is completely rebelling against it... as I'm egotistic enough to want to do it on my own, but right now, I want to get rid of 5 lbs ASAP. So I'll give this a try. I need some positive reinforcement with this whole process... as I haven't been very sucessful lately.

So hopefully a packaged meal plan and regular workouts will jumpstart me back to where I need to be... and that's ultimately the goal. Getting back on track!

Almost 2 Weeks Later

2007-05-24T08:18:00.000-05:00

So I've been back working with Yourself!Fitness and Maya has been kicking my butt.

And dammit, I feel better. My mood is better, I feel more engergized (even tho', in fact I'm not... I'm actually quite physically tired).

The thing that amazed me was how quickly I got over the New Soreness.. you know that really painful stiffness and soreness you get when you first start working out? Well, I had that, but only for the first two days and now I'm back to the general soreness that you get from regular workouts. The body remembers how to do this... even if you try to block all memory of it!

Right now I'm not worrying about any weight loss at all. I've got to get past the "ideal weight goal" and remember why I'm doing this. My motivation Can Not Be Weight Loss only. I doom myself to failure, as I will hit an other plateau and get annoyed.

I need to remember that being active is the goal. Eating healthy is the goal and I'm not even weighing myself. I'm setting up goals of "I'll workout this long this many times this week" and that's it.

Right now it's enough, but I've got to start thinking about what I can do to keep myself on a schedule... working out on a regular basis... even when I get bored, tired or frustrated... that's always the problem.

What I've Been Up To

2007-05-20T09:37:00.000-05:00

So nothing since March, eh? That doesn't bode well does it.

I have to say that the plateau finally beat me. I gave up. It was frustating me, putting me in a constant bad mood and I just couldn't keep myself motivated. Even as I knew weight was creeping back on, that I was back to a 10 lb gain and the "firmness" was disappearing, I just couldn't shake the feelings of uselessness at all the sacrifice.

Then something odd happened... I didn't have my Xbox for a couple of weeks. We loaned it to a friend and I didn't think it was that big a deal. I was using my PS2 more for gaming and doing the occassional walk on the treadmill. All of a sudden, not having Maya available made me miss her...

So my Xbox is back, and Maya and I have spent the week together. I continue to try to find an other workout that I can consistantly workout to, and it's always back with Maya. I do think I need a break from her occassionally, but as an overall workout that keeps me motivated, I just haven't found anything else.

I also found out that a new Yourself!Fitness is expected for the next gen consoles for the upcoming holiday season. As is HALO 3... hmmm, maybe I will need to invest in a 360?

Hopefully I'll be a little better at keeping this blog updated. While I do this blog for me (and keeping a diary of all my ups and downs has been very beneficial to me) it's still very encouraging to know other people are out there going thru the same thing!

Gotta Keep On Movin'

2007-03-08T16:23:00.000-05:00

So right now it's less about weight loss and more about simply moving!

I realized that my soreness and achiness is from the fact that other than my specific almost daily (well, okay sometimes) workout, I sit on my ass and knit or play video games.

That's a lot of time sitting on my ass.

So in addition to my regular workout, I'm really concentrating on moving. I'm not even wearing my heart rate monitor for this. I'm just getting on the treadmill and walking for a lap (1/4 mile) 4 times a day. Spreading it out every couple of hours. Not at a fast pace (as a matter of fact, I can even knit when I do this). It's more about getting the legs in motion rather than just sitting.

So while I'm hoping that it has some effect on my weight loss, right now I'm just trying to "feel better". Work out the kinks and soreness. Simply move. Hopefully this will lessen the soreness and I can up the level on my workout.

Hate is a strong word

2007-03-05T13:57:00.000-05:00

So I've hit that point: what do I hate more?

Being fat or working out.

When ya come right down to it, that's what it's all about. Quite frankly, it's not the same from day to day.

However, the fat thing is getting to me. Not just the appearance thing, that's always irritating, but the physical things that come with it. The aches and pains, the effort to do things that shouldn't take effort.

I'm having leg aches (too sedatary) and some lower back issues. So the question becomes which I hate more? Tired, achy and in pain from a sedatary life style that has the added bonus of clothes not fitting and low self confidence or the tired, achy and in pain life style that boosts self confidense and improves my physical appearance.

Today the fat won out... and I did my workout. And I didn't hate it. Let's hope I can continue to hate the fat. 'Cause I know I'll never love the workout.

Haven't quite abandoned the blog yet

2007-03-01T09:46:00.000-05:00

Tho' I must admit I'm feeling very discouraged right now.

And not just about my weight.

I have not had a lot of success in my life. I feel the more effort I put into something, the more disappointed I am when I fail. The weight loss has hit that point.

I've been spending more time and effort on my general appearance. Things like make up, haircuts, non sweatpants types of things. In fact, this has completely backfired on me. I actually feel worse about my physical appearance because of it.

I guess before I was putting in the effort, I could convince myself that was all I needed to do. Now that I've done it, and I don't look any better, I realize that the effort has no impact.

Just like the weight loss. Sure, I can gain weight. No problem. However, the more effort I put into it, the less successful I am with with losing weight.

So hard work doesn't always achieve good results. Something I learned a long time ago about a lot of things.

I'm not sure what my next step is. All I know is that I'm so disappointed, and it's a vicious cycle. I simply can't get motivated to do anything more, yet it's probably the only way to have any kind of result.

Overdrawn!!!

2007-01-11T12:46:00.000-05:00

I've used the theory of calories in vs calories out for a while for my weight loss. I find the most sucessful way for me to lose (and maintain) weight is to treat it like my check book. I have a daily balance and I subtract how many calories I've eaten and how many calories I've burned thru exercise.

Just like and check and balance system, if it's not properly tracked, it gets out of balance... and the tendency is to over spend. How come when you don't balance your checkbook, you don't save more money... it always works the other way, doesn't it?

My weight loss is the same way. When I don't track it, I over spend (ie: over eat) and it gets out of whack.. and now I'm trying to balance the books again.

Meaning back to the daily use of Fitday.

It's not fun. No more so than balancing my checkbook is. But just as it's good for my financial health to balance the checkbook, balancing my diet and exercise is good for my overall health.

I'm fortunate to have been using Fitday for a while now.. so most of my eating habits are already logged, I just have to remember to add them.

While I've been keeping my proportions in check (mostly), my food choices haven't been great for a while... and the between meals snacking has increased. It shouldn't be too much of a change... and I've done this before... and I'll be doing it again. I know that I will always be fighting for a healthy weight. I'm not blessed with a great metabolism or a love for exercise. It will be a constant battle. Sometimes, that's the hardest part to wrap my brain around.

It's very easy to get all gung ho about a healthier life style, to make the changes and the sacrifice. The problem is maintaining that enthusiasm. When the plateaus hit or after it's been a daily struggle day in and day out for over 7 years.

Kudos to me for the success I've already acheived... but there are no laurels and there are no finish lines in this race. It's like the hampster on the wheel... you just keep going.

(oh, and the knee is feeling better, and I'll be doing Yourself!Fitness today for the first time since I hurt it... fingers crossed there will be no problems!)

#@$@#$%##

2007-01-08T15:54:00.000-05:00

Ya, my actual swearing right now might be too intense for the average reader (unless of course you know me and know that I can swear like a truck driver with tourette's syndrome).

I've been really concentrating on my workouts. Keeping to a pretty regular schedule, making a hard effort, avoiding the scale (and not back to using FitDay... yet). The usual stuff for me.

I was all up for a Maya crush down (meaning a nice 1 hour cardio with with Yourself!Fitness), then disaster.

We're having some serious weather weirdness, and the rain has finally become an issue with my knee. Plus I spent most of yesterday standing at my cutting table.

I can't put any weight on my bum knee if it's bent. So things like standing up/sitting down/climbing stairs is extremely painful.

I am not happy. I've just been getting into a groove, feeling that the workouts had been part of my daily routine, I was building up my endurance (ya, I'm still &%$#@ sore). I feel this happens to me a lot. So I guess I'm doing something wrong. Not warming up enough, not stretching enough, working too hard too fast. Something. Or maybe I just have a crappy knee!

I'm hoping that I'll still be able to do the recumbant bike today. While it's a lot of knee movement, there's no weight on the bent knee... fingers crossed that I can at least do that. Then maybe I'll do some upper body weights or some ab work.

Ya An Other Year... and the struggles continue on

2007-01-03T10:19:00.000-05:00

Over the last 6 months, I've let myself go. I haven't been focused on either my eating habits or my exercise. Result? A 12 lb weight gain.

I'm trying not to let it depress me, but it's that time of year. Winter looms long and dreary and sunshine seems to be at a minimum.

I've been working with Maya consistantly for the last week. I'm so freakin' sore it's not even funny. I still can't seem to completely make the commitment, especially with food. I'm already so uncomfortable with how sore I am, the idea of being hungry just isn't appealing. The ONLY way I lose weight is to workout "hard" 6 days a week for an hour and eat 1200 calories a day. That takes a considerable amount of willpower.

So I'll keep trying. I'll do my workouts. Try to workout hard and keep an eye on my calories.

I think part of the struggle is that I lack a support structure. Weight loss/exercise is hard. It's easy to become competitive with it, so it's hard to find the right kind of support. Matt's always been very good, but he's so focused on his own and doesn't want to "judge" me that he's not always the best motivation. The online groups can be a little too "this is how you must do it", offering more advice than support.

So I'll struggle along on my own. Ultimately I'm the one responsible anyway and I have to do it for me and for my reasons and in my own way.

Gym?

2006-12-15T14:47:00.000-05:00

I'm not particularly fond of working out at a gym. There's a lot of reasons for this. I have to physically go there, and that's just more time given to a workout that I don't want to do. I have to wear "safe in public" clothes (working out at home allows me to stuff myself into old ratty holey workout clothes). There's a whole workout etiquette you have to deal with when you work out at a gym.

So we went and joined the YMCA today. Mostly for Matt. He can't ride his bike right now due to an over use injury in his calf. He also can't run (which he hates doing anyway) so it's off to swim. We bought him some trunks (um, just as an FYI: the long biker short style swim trunks are not made for bikers, btw. He has "thigh" issues... when the guy that owns the store says, "you have really large thighs" and pulled out larger shorts to fit him, I'm guessing Matt has really large thighs... heehee).

I'm not sure why, but joining the gym and looking around depressed me. I mean it's the Y, so it's not like a meat market style gym. There was a wide variety of people using the gym (tho' traffic was light.. mid morning on a Friday seems to be a good time to workout). I'm not sure why it put me in a bad mood. Am I intimidated? Am I self conscious? Do I recognize how much work losing the next batch of weight is going to be?

When Matt first starting biking, he rode by himself. He lost weight and got strong. He thought he was fast. Then he started doing a training ride run by some local racers and got his ass spanked! He worked harder, trained harder and got stronger and now he's a racer, too.

I think that's part of my fear. I know I've been working hard, but I also know that I'm not working hard enough. Going to a gym around other people would force me to be honest with myself on how hard I'm actually working. Not a fun prospect.

Flipping Off Uno's

2006-12-01T09:25:00.000-05:00

Matt and I don't eat out much anymore. For several reasons. Since I don't work, it's really my only "job" as a "housewife" (but I spend most of my time knitting or playing video games. Vacuuming? ya, whatever). The least I can do is cook once a day.

The main reason we stopped eating out (apart from the obvious cost thing) is the control thing. It's soooo much easier to prepare our meals and control what we're eating. I've learned over the years how to make some of our favorites in a healthier way. When we eat out, we have no control on how it's prepared and I really struggle making "healthy" choices when I'm handed a menu.

So when we eat out now, I don't worry too much about what I'm choosing since it's not a common accurance. One of the places that we'll go occassionally is Uno's. We split a salad, a pizza and dessert. The main reason we like Uno's is the Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup dessert. It's soooo yummy. We split it, so figure that cuts the calorie content in half and not too bad a treat.

Well while discussing it with a friend, I decided to look at the Nutritional Information (the best weapon in weight control). Ya, we won't be eating it again. Ever.

So the dessert serves 2, so we weren't cutting the calories in half afteral... it was already proportioned for two people. Then look at the calories and fat PER SERVING!!!

Calories: 920 calories
Fat: 66 g (26 saturated)
Calories from fat: 590

For half of what's on the plate. So if you ate the whole thing? 1840 calories. 132 grams of fat.

Now I really respect Uno's for putting that information out there. Unlike some resturants, who refuse to give you the nutritional information (hmmmm, what are they hiding?). EDIT NOTE: Huh, I just went to Houlihan's website. They've changed it. They used to have a disclaimer that said that since their food was "handmade" they couldn't give nutritional information on it. Now they don't even have any reference to it at all (with a very very annoying website).

So I thank Uno for letting me look at the nutritional information. I'll chose the apple dessert, which isn't nearly that bad knowing what I know. As much as I enjoyed the chocolate peanut butter cup dessert, I know that there's no way I can justify my entired day's calories into one food.

And yes, I did flip the resturant off when I drove by the other day. How dare they make something so yummy, yet so not worth eating?

Running Sucks

2006-11-30T11:16:00.000-05:00

oh, wait, wasn't that the title of my last post???

Ya, so anyway. What's up? Weigh In? Was yesterday Wednesday? Oh, thanks for reminding me...

Let's say that I'm at 162 lbs and I'm not really concentrating on that. I'm trying to stay positive, keep motivated and workout.

I'm trying to run on alternate days with a walk warm up followed by weight training on the non running days.

Ya, squats with weights sure do take a toll on ya. Then two days later, when I tried to run (that would be today), my legs still felt like jelly. So a nice brisk walk with super pump arm action it was!

I'm basically in a damage control mode right now. Not yet in the panic, OMG I've gain 10 lbs! mode. I just hope that with some concentration and some hard work I can get back on track.

Running Sucks

2006-11-27T08:32:00.000-05:00

It does. Really. Yet, so completely effective that I keep trying to do it.

I'm not sure why. I have knee that hurts (since my kneecap isn't smooth, it grinds with every bouncing step). I have large "let's give Cindy a black eye while she bounces up and down" breasts. Not fun and quite frankly, a little on the painful side.

Yet I continually get on the treadmill and jog (ya, let's be honest... this ain't running. Watching Herm Edwards on the treadmill during the promo for the NFL channel makes me realize that I'll never be that graceful). The heart rate monitor cheers. Wow, Cindy look at how quickly you can get to your max heart rate and just watch those calories burn off.

So while I hate every single freakin' second of jogging on the treadmill, I still do it. One day I will run a complete mile. At a time (not in 1/4 mile increments). It won't be fast (my favorite speed on the treadmill is 3.4 mph. Not 3.5, that's too fast for my short little legs).

Ya, I didn't weigh in last week. So what? I was busy. Cooking. For Thanksgiving. I only cooked low fat, healthy foods. In small quanities. Uh.huh. Ya, good thing the heart rate monitor doesn't tell me how many calories I'm consuming....

Wednesday Weigh In

2006-11-15T09:15:00.000-05:00

Oh Crap, it's Wednesday. Ugh.

Weight: 160.4 lbs
Body Fat %: 39.3%

Ya, that's up. As expected. I've averaged about 154 lbs over the last 2 years (with lowest being 149 lbs). So that's not horrific, but the difference between a size 12 jeans and a size 14 jeans. Six pounds isn't the end of the world, and it could be a lot worse.

However, it's the wrong way. I hope that I can drop these extra 6 by the end of the year and get back to the 154 before New Years.

The good news is that I'm not the only one who's put on some weight. Yes, I know it's evil, but Matt's weight is up to 140 lbs. Since my main goal is to weigh less than my husband, that's only 20 lbs. Actually, it's not as evil as it sounds. What it means is that I need to watch how I'm cooking. If he's gaining weight too that means that we're not watching our diet as close as we should. Yes, racing season is over and he's cut back on his workouts, but he usually adjusts his eating to the lower workout schedule.

It's ALWAYS easier if we're both being restrictive. He's always aware of what he's eating, but during training for the races, he'll burn 1200 calories in one ride... that's my total calorie allotment for the day! It's really hard to restrict my calories when he's has to increase his.

So I'm back to using Yourself!Fitness again. I had planned on starting a new profile on Monday, but it just happened that my regular Physical Challenge was up. So let's see the results:

Resting heart rate: 62
Max heart rate: 157
Squats: 50 (max)
Crunches: 30
Push ups: 10

The flexibility wasn't as far as usual, so that's two areas I really need to work on: push ups and flexibility. I was pleased with the resting heart rate. The max is about where I normally am, and so that's good too.

I'm also being a lot better about working out in the morning. I like to workout right before lunch and so I'm off to let Maya kick my butt!

The Heart Rate Monitor Weight Loss Program

2006-11-13T10:14:00.000-05:00

I have a definitely love/hate relationship with my Heart Rate Monitor.

After much procrastination, it's back with brand new spanking batteries (meaning I had to reset everything-including those extra pounds I've put on since it's been gone).

I forgot how much I rely on it. Not only for my workout (my goal isn't time/distance/set, etc... it's all about how many calories I burn), but for the psychological impact of seeing how much work burning calories is.

When I use my HRM on a regular basis and see how many calories my workouts burn, food calories take on a whole new impact. 100 calorie snacks seem like a good idea, but then I stop and think about burning 100 calories. Extra calories are extra workout time and really make me stop and think if I'm hungry or if I'm just wanting something out of habit.

I've been easing back into my workouts. When I take a break and decide to get focused again, I have a tendancy of over doing it (thinking I can just jump back to wehre I was when I stopped). I usually hurt myself doing that, so I've been walking (with minimal jogging... like 1/4 mile) on the treadmill or using the stationary bike. Increasing my time and effort with each workout.

I've been avoiding the Yourself!Fitness. Partly because it's a harder workout than the treadmill and bike, but I also realized that I'm pissed that I won't be getting an update for it. I'm mad at Maya. I still get the best workout from her, but I had sooo been looking forward to the sequel (and it sounds like the company is gone... the customer service number has been disconnected). I don't like the Eye Toy: Kinetics (the eye toy just isn't reliable... and the reason why I'm weary of the new Wii... I want to see a lot more reliable interface on the motion detection before I shell out my money).

So I'm debating if it's time to start looking at traditional DVD's or just get over it and get back to Maya.

I'm Back

2006-11-09T08:34:00.000-05:00

As you can probably tell, there hasn't been a lot of concentration on fitness or fitness blogging. A two year plateau can really be tough to deal with.

However, my self confidense is completely broken right now. My weight is up, recent pictures of me aren't flattering and it seems that I avoid responsibility.

So I'm not feeling very good about myself. It's hard to hear my faults then be told not to beat myself up over feeling bad about myself. I'm trying to concentrate on positives about myself, and I have some. However right now I'm feeling a bit low.

That means it's back to the old grindstone. I need to stick to a workout schedule. Plain and simple. As soon as I start "adjusting" it, it starts to thin in regularity then eventually I stop completely. The longer I put it off, the less likely I'll do it.

Hopefully by taking better care of myself physically, I'll feel better about myself psychologically.

Sad News

2006-10-11T20:26:00.000-05:00

While googling for information today on news on a sequel for Yourself!Fitness (as it was rumored one would be out Q4 2006), I found out the real news.

There was a Conference in September to promote Games for Health and ResponDesign participated.

ResponDesign, the creators of Yourself Fitness followed up by bringing us back to reality. The talk kicked off with Yourself Fitness no longer being in stores and there is no sequel in the works. While ResponDesigns has an uncertain future there is still strong support and need for the exergaming space. They also feel having compelling software is what is required to get people to exercise and to solve the obesity epidemic.

No mention of Eye Toy: Kinetics (which we've already established: I hate... too negative and I found the camera to not be very reliable).

But what the hell I'm I to do now? I was soooo looking forward to a new Yourself!Fitness!

Okay, let me say I was just complaining about this to Lauren (love IM) and she said I should just do my own.

Well, actually that's not really that far fetched, ya know. Microsoft is (has?) released a game developer kit for the 360. Let me rephrased that: an affordable game developer kit (normally console development kits run in the tens of thousands). That means for the cost of a 360, plus the cost of the development kit, I "could" create my own Yourself!Fitness type program. However, my personal trainer will be either Dante:
or Kain:
Ya, I think that might just motivate me...

The Daily Struggle

2006-10-05T06:57:00.000-05:00

Not much new going on. I continue to struggle with my focus. On anything. I don't feel much like knitting and I'm doing it sporatically. I'm doing a little bit of sewing, but not consistantly. I am doing my workouts, but I'm just going thru the motions, basically doing the bare minimal (which is an improvement, as I had basically taken a whole week off). I'm not playing any games (Ratchet Deadlock was such a disappointment). I'm not even watching much of the baseball playoffs. I have them on, but I'm not paying attention to the games.

So what's up with all of that? What am I doing with my time? I have no idea. I just seem to be drifting from day to day. I'm starting to get a little freaked out by my lack of interest in anything.

I know it's time to try something new. Either learn something, take a class, try a new workout or maybe even a vacation (it's been 2.5 years since Matt and I took a vacation). I need something to kick me in the butt to get excited about something! Anything!

Steady As She Goes

2006-10-03T07:47:00.000-05:00

I was able to do my workout with Yourself!Fitness yesterday. "Able" is a good description. The hormone thing reared it's ugly head (thank you body... I'm loving the 3 week cycle! HA!) and wasn't sure I had the energy to do a workout.

I figured worse comes to worse, I'll just walk on the treadmill. I wanted to give it a try and so I put Maya in my Xbox. The cardio section was fine, and it actually felt pretty good. However, the weight lifting was an issue, so I didn't do the whole thing. I still feel like I got a good workout and I plan on doing the treadmill today (as per my normal schedule).

I didn't drink as much diet soda as I have been and I'm thrilled with that. The less soda, the more water I get.

I'm not quite at the sacrifice to lose weight part yet, but I do feel like I'm back to routine on the workouts and the balanced eating. The sacrificing is hard... especially when you have the experience to know how hard it is. On the other hand, having gotten this far, I know I can do it again.

Blogging Blahs

2006-10-02T06:55:00.001-05:00

I'm not blogging as much as I normally do... on either of my blogs.

Usually with the Fitness blog, that's because I'm not working as hard as I should.

That's not the case this time. I just don't really feel motivated to do much blogging. I want to blog here, as I find it's good for me. Helps me to think about what and why I'm doing all of this. I enjoy reading other blogs as it helps me to stay focused (and remind me I'm not the only one struggling day to day with my workouts and food choices).

I've been blogging for a while. (I think my Knitting Blog turns 5 this year! Yikes!). No, don't worry, I'm not shutting either blog down (yes, the gaming blog didn't really work, did it?), but I have to admit that I'm just going thru the motions of blogging right now.

I'm planning on taking a week off from the knitting blog. Maybe that will help me focus a bit more on this one (and therefore help me stay focused on my workouts).

Let's see... today will be a Yourself!Fitness workout (upper body: 60 minutes). I'm also going to have to watch the diet soda intake... I'm back to 3 or 4 a day... and I would really rather only be drinking one. Each soda I drink is one less water that helps flush out my system!

Hmmm. Maybe it's time for an other Challenge?

No Numbers... 'cause I know

2006-09-27T21:10:00.000-05:00

I didn't weigh in today, but I don't need to... as the jean situation on Monday told me all I needed to know.

So I spent time doing a little circuit training yesterday and I put Maya in this morning. My left leg is bothering me a bit (I have a tendancy of favoring thanks to the icky right knee). Maya and I decided after about 15 minutes that it wasn't going to work today and I should do a yoga workout. The stretching would do me good, it would be low impact and help me get my focus.

So I haven't done yoga for a while... like 35-40 lbs ago while. I've done the little bit that Maya includes in her flexibility training, but I don't like her meditation workout at all (she stops giving directions in middle of it). So I pulled out my favorite yoga workout book. I started this book way back when I firt started working out. Again, I wanted something low impact yet would get me started moving after the years of sedatary living.

I've come a long way... when I used to do it, I couldn't do child pose. My stomach got in the way. Now I can do the full stretch. So while I'm disappointed in the start of the week, I'm feeling pretty good today... I can do it, as I've done it before.

However, my abs aren't as happy with me as my mind... I forgot how much ab work doing yoga is!

Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying

2006-09-26T15:34:00.000-05:00

That's one of my favorite lines from The Shawshank Redeption. A good rule to live by... on many levels. We go thru life sometimes just plodding along just putting in time until we die. That's not what I want to do.

However, I sometimes seem to take a break... and Tracey is right... complacency leads to weight gain. I know it's not Weigh In Wednesday, but I know my weight is up. I tried to wear my size 12 jeans yesterday and they weren't an option.

I've worked too hard, sacrificed too much to regress to being a slug again...and I have been a slug.

We're coming up on the 2 year anniversary of Yourself!Fitness, and while I've seen interviews and heard rumors about a new version, I haven't heard any specifics. So anyone out there know of a release date... or even a release quarter (say, like Q4 2006). I would love to have a new version of this game. The Eye Toy: Kinetics was not for me, as I need positive reinforcement. I definitely need some kind of workout to get excited about.

Who said they liked weight lifting???

2006-09-18T07:12:00.000-05:00

So I paid for my tough workout on Friday. I was pretty sore for the next two days. Today I feel the "normal" soreness. Which is good, as I'll be doing the same workout again today.

That's the biggest problem with weight lifting: it's hard at the start. I think if you've done it before you recover more quickly from the soreness, but any kind of break and you feel it.

So I'll be sure to weight lift today. Don't want to have to start over again (and a typical mistake for newbies is to wait until they're not sore anymore... not a good idea. Give yourself 48 hours to recover, then do it again. You'll actually be less sore in the long run).

So the weekend was the usual mix bag, but that's typical. I try to keep to a workout schedule, but it's always harder on the weekend. I do think I did a decent job of balancing my food.

Matt's offically done for the season racing. Sunday was the last race of the season. He did his first 1,2,3 and finished with the pack. Not bad. He started the 30+, but didn't finish (back to the "why throw up for 53rd place things"... he doesn't think it's worth it).

So this changes our lifestyle quite a bit. He won't be riding as much, and he'll even take 2 weeks off the bike (uh.hu. I don't believe it either). As it's getting darker sooner, the Tuesday night rides are done, at least for him (He no longer has my clearance to ride it... it just gets too dark too early). The Thursday night training crit isn't on open roads, but in a coporate park and it's safer, so he'll continue to do that one I'm sure until it's done for the season.

The question becomes, now what? He will still ride, but it won't be as much. He usually rides 10-12 hours a week and that'll probably be cut back to 5-8 hours a week. This becomes an issue for him, as he simply won't be burning as many calories. He does need to give his legs a break so he needs to find an alternative high cardio exercise. Probably swimming. It also means he'll be eating less (which is good for me).

He has some specific goals this off season, and hopefully we can do some things together that will help me break this mid 150's plateau that I've been in for the last 2 years...

Friday Workout

2006-09-15T12:10:00.000-05:00

I must admit I'm missing my heart rate monitor. It was so nice to know how many calories I was burning. I guess I need to take the iniative and send it back to Polar for a new battery (as that's the only way to keep it under warrenty... PITA!).

I did a lovely workout with Maya today and I'm feeling pretty sore. As I said, I've been slacking a bit with the weights, doing more treadmill work than anything. I need to keep up with the weight lifting... it's good for my bones, it's important for toning and it helps raise my metabolism to help me burn more fat. Actually, I just enjoy it.

I will say out of all the physical activities that I do/have tried, weight lifting has always been my favorite. It's time consuming, so I don't always concentrate on it like I should (if given a choice between a 30 minute treadmill workout or 30 minutes weight lifting, I chose the treadmill as it will burn more calories). It's one of the reasons I like Maya, as she incorportates it into every workout (sometimes going against basic weight lifting advice: 48 hours rest between working the same muscle group. If you do Maya every day, she'll want you to do lunges every day).

I'm not sure why I like weight lifting. I guess I just enjoy the feeling of strength while I'm doing it. I like the soreness I get with it. It doesn't burn my lungs... I hate the way cardio exercises burn my lungs. It's gotten better as I've gotten more aerobicly fit, but I still find that hard breathing uncomfortable.

Maybe it's the lack of weight training that has my muscles feeling so weak. Let's see if being back on scheudule improves my fatigue level...

Wednesday Weigh In

2006-09-13T06:55:00.001-05:00

So we're back to this again, eh? Ya, I wasn't looking forward to it. I've been sluggish, with hardly any workouts. Eating things that I don't normally eat and not really worrying about my calorie count. I was expecting the worse.

Weight: 156.4
Body Fat: 39.0%

ya, that makes perfect sense. I gained a whole whopping pound. Now the body fat percentage is up, which really is the only reflection of me not working out (the lack of weight training is showing).

This is why this whole process is so incredibly frustrating to me. 3500 calories equals a pound. So to lose weight I should remove 500 calories a day with diet and exercise, right? That's what every reputable nutritionist/weight loss trainer will say. Yet, I can remove over 800 calories thru diet and exercise and lose what maybe a half a pound. I stop worrying about it. Workout maybe 2-3 days a week for 30 minutes, add a little junk to my diet and I gain only 1 lb. It just doesn't make sense to me, and makes it really hard to justify to myself all the hard work and sacrifice to lose that half pound.

I'm disappointed from the results from this mornings weigh in, not from the one pound gained, but rather the lack of gaining. As I said before one pound up or one pound down doesn't really mean much to me. That's a very natural weight flucuation and I simply don't lose sleep over it (in either direction).

I actually was hoping for a couple of pounds gained to get me motivated again. It's not. It just all seems futile when I can be comfortable, not hungry, not spend 60 minutes a day working out and I can basically maintain my weight. Or I can be hungry, tired, sore, bored with the 60-90 minutes a day of exercise and barely loose any weight. It's really hard to convince yourself that all that work is worth it, when in fact bare minimum keeps me level... so you would think working harder would show results, but in fact it shows minimal results.

To say that I'm frustrated is an understatement.

Tuesday...and it's quiet... too quiet

2006-09-12T13:10:00.000-05:00

so let's think back to last week and those goals I set up... something about working out every day, using Fitday, blah blah blah.

Well the weekend was a bust and this week hasn't started off great either. I've used FitDay sporatically. I've worked out sporatically, but hey, I am blogging more!

It's a matter of habit, and I'm not quite at the habit yet.

It also doesn't mean I'm throwing in the towel. These are lifesstyle changes, and just like most of the changes I've made over the years, they don't happen overnight, or just because I say I'm going to do them. I have to continue to work and reconfirm my goals to get me to stay on course.

So I'm off to workout (see the fitness blog really is just for me to talk myself into a workout). I learned a long time ago to not beat myself up over what's been done. I didn't workout over the weekend? Well that has absolutely no bearing on whether I workout today or not. Learn from the past, not use it as an excuse. So off to ride the stationary bike and then maybe some weights (or a quick jog on the treadmill...)

Ahhhh Fall!

2006-09-11T07:44:00.000-05:00

Fall is my favorite time of the year. I love the colors. I love the smell. I love football. I love the temperature (I mean it's called sweater weather for a reason).

Plus, I love the taste of fall.

Cooking this time of year is one of my favorite things. The seasonal vegetables this time of year are my favorite. I'm a big apple fan. Not just fresh crisp apples, but I love them baked. I love them sauted with pork. I love them roasted.

I'm also a big soup fan and it's soup season again. Butternut squash. Black bean. Chicken n dumplings. All good stuff.

Mostly I love the baked goods. I love the spices that dominate fall flavors. Cinnamon, ginger, allspice. All those yummy fall flavors.

Sadly, I don't bake much anymore. I love to bake cakes and cookies and such. Mostly because I love eating them, but I love the smell of freshly baked cakes and cookies. The house always smells so warm and inviting when you have something full of spice in the oven.

Baking was on of the first things I gave up when we started our healthier lifestyle. The fat and calories had to be cut and it was an easy solution.

Every once in a while I still bake, just for the pleasure of it. Since yesterday was the first football Sunday of the season, I felt we should celebrate in style. Black Bean soup and a spice cake (both Cooking Light recipes).

I found a great sounding recipe at Cooking Light for an Espesso Spice cake. Sounded perfect. So I whipped it up, and it was good. The calorie/fat count was within reason and so we enjoyed a cup of decaf and a slice of cake last night after dinner.

Emphasis on the decaf coffee. The cake was not decaf and I paid for it last night. It kept me up most of the night. Duh! I didn't even think of that.

So the weekend was a mixed bag of trying to be healthy and a couple of splurges (went out to lunch with friends. It's so hard for me to make the right choices when a menu is placed in front of me).

Today is treadmill day. I will become a jogger one of these days. One day I might even bring that 20 minute mile down to 18.

&%$& Counting Calories!!!

2006-09-08T12:09:00.000-05:00

So I was reading John's blog yesterday, and he gave me credit for his change from Weight Watchers to FitDay. Nothing like promoting a great tool, like FitDay, and not using it yourself, eh?

Now, I understand why he doesn't want to use Weight Watchers, puffy icon aside. I'm not a huge fan of the points system. When Matt and I started our weight loss program, we went to Weight Watchers (back in the dark ages and before they had online support. Those were also the days where you paid for your internet connection by time). It was still the exchange system, based on the food pyramid. It's a shame that they dropped that system, as I do think Matt and I learned a great deal about balance from them.

So we eat very low fat, balanced meals (and definitely not low carb! carbs = energy. While low carb works for people who don't work out, serious athletes need that fuel. We've had some "bonking" issues with Matt who still struggles with the change from weight loss to competitive athlete).

So balance is fine and dandy. It helped me get my cholestrol in check, it helps us both to have better health overall, but balance doesn't equate restrictive calories.

That's where Fitday comes in. I have to know how much I'm eating. Or I don't lose weight (and usually those portion sizes start to creep up to where I'm gaining weight). So being reminded what a great tool it is, and after doing my blog last night, I realized it was time to get back to business.

So I'm going layout my plan (just like a business plan, it's best to have some guidelines to follow).

Use Fitday to track my food and exercise

Workout: 3 hard days, 3 moderate days, 1 light day

Post on my blog more

Weigh In once a week... even if I know it's going to be up

So I'm hoping that it'll help me get focused again... and not just on my fitness. I've been very unfocused with a lot of things lately, including my favorite hobbies, and I'm wondering if it's not from the laziness of my diet and exercise? Being sluggish can have side effects that I don't always realize.

So reminders welcome if this blog is getting quiet!

So let's see: blog updated, Fitday open and food to date logged, now off to workout (come on Maya, let's do an upper body blast fest!).

What??? Wednesday Was Yesterday????

2006-09-07T18:17:00.000-05:00

Today is true confession time.

I'm avoiding the scale. I'm avoiding as if it were that "brutely honest family member" at a family reunion. You know the one. The one that points out that "red really isn't your color" or "honey, let me give you the number of my hairdressor... he can fix that for you".

The scale is not going to give me any positive reinforcement. It's going to be brutally honest and I know I'm not going to like it.

My diet, while mostly good, has had way too many "extras". My willpower is gone right now. I'm craving sweet things and I'm finding way too many excuses to justify them. The problem is that once I started eating sweets, I start to crave them and it just sort of snowballs.

It doesn't help that I'm also finding excuses to not work out.

I know better. I worked so hard to get down to this weight, and I'm frustrated with my current weight. Clothes shopping earlier this week showed that I've a long way to go yet. (ya, it's always fun trying on clothes. Man those clothes manufacturers have a wicked sense of humor). I'm between sizes and the best solution is to get smaller so that clothes will fit better (we won't have the dicussion on how it was actually easier to find clothes when I was heavier... I'm not sure what that says about our society).

So I'm floundering; actually with a lot of things right now... I'm not in a knitting groove, I'm not playing games (and with only 3 more skill points left in Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenol to go before I have 100%) and I'm sorta just slugging along.

Slugging is a good description right now... I don't want to be a slug, so now I just need to get off my ass and get moving. I guess now is as good as a time as any, eh?

Weigh In? What Weigh In?

2006-08-31T07:53:00.000-05:00

Well I didn't weigh in this week. Again. Ya, ya I know. That's dangerous. That's how weight creeps back on. That's how laziness begins.

I'm going with my friend Theresa to a local gym for a tour on Saturday. This gym doesn't offer any classes, but does offer complimentary personal trainers. It has a pool, lots of weight lifting and cardio equipment. It's also very inexpensive (especially considering the pool thing). Maybe working with a trainer a couple of times a week would get me focused and on a regular plan. I'm just not good at sticking to a routine. Even with Yourself!Fitness, I change up Maya's suggestions (I have a rebellion personality) and choose what I like to do rather than the balance that I need. So maybe a set workout with the accountibility of a trainer is what I need to break my plateau.

I don't want to go to a gym everyday, but maybe a 3 times a week workout would be good for me. They'll have a much better weight training set up than I have. I love our Smith machine, but I have to remove all the drying (and usually stinky) bike clothes off of it to use it. We have limited space for weight lifting, and the treadmill and recumbant bike take up half the room. During the off season, Matt will have his trainer set up and that eats up a lot of space too. So it feels tight, it's hard to do any floor exercises and it takes a lot of rearranging everytime I do weights in there.

So I'm optimistic about going to the gym. I already have a couple of friends that use this gym and I might even get Matt to go with me (I love doing weights with him. We make a good weight lifting team).

Very Discouraged

2006-08-29T13:10:00.000-05:00

I spent today dealing with my abdormally large bust line. Let me tell ya gals, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

I have to mail order by bras.

The bras in my size are ugly.

I went and tried shirts on today. For them to fit me in the bust, they look sloppy everywhere else. If I buy them to fit everywhere else, the buttons gap at my bust.

I then tried to adjust a sewing pattern to fit me. This "should" be the ideal solution, but even the patterns really don't like that much adjustment. It's going to take a lot more tweaking than I expected.

I have this unrealistic goal of something in my life being easy to fit. I wear a hard to find shoe size (5.5W... sometimes I can wear a 6W, depending on the style and designer). I have a sway back, so for pants to fit my butt, they gap at the waist. A lot. Like over three inches. I have a narrow back and shoulders with large (and heavy) boobs. I'm short.

I realize that sizing is based on "average", but there are days that I would kill to just be able to go out and buy something pretty and for it to fit.

As much as I would hope that losing weight would help this, the fact is that my boobs were less of an issue when I was heavier. I guess it's expected that size 22 women have large breasts while size 12 women don't? My weight loss has been in equal proportions. I've dropped from a size 38 bra down to a size 34, but the cup has remained the same (meaning that I still have over 7" difference between my band measurement and my full bust measurement).

If I weren't such a weenie, today's the kind of day that I start to think that a boob-bob wouldn't be such a bad idea...

Damn, I Hate It When He's Right...

2006-08-25T14:23:00.000-05:00

I woke up today with a stiff neck (pinched a nerve). It's humid out. I'm tired and irritable (see the stiff neck/humidity thing, plus Matt worked from home today. 'nuff said).

I was going to blow off my workout. Just didn't feel like doing it. I knew that Yourself!Fitness was out of the question and I was just soooo sluggish.

Let's not forget that my mantra for working out is that "something is better than nothing". I also try to do that "something" everyday... even if it's just a light workout. Ya, sometimes nothing is good...

As Matt was leaving for his bike ride he said "just get on the treadmill for a bit. You'll feel better". Uh hu. Ya Right.

Then I remebered the coconut cream pie I had last night (hey it was a small piece) and realized that "something IS better than nothing". I was going to keep a slow steady pace and just do 15-20 minutes. I ended up cranking it up to my normal pace and doing my regular workout. I did better.

damn, he was right. I feel better physically and there's no guilt for skipping my workout.

Yet an other missed weight in

2006-08-23T07:57:00.000-05:00

A good indication that I'm not focused on weight loss: I keep forgetting to weigh in on Wednesdays! When I'm focused and really concentrating, I can't wait to weigh in to see how I've done.

Well, I didn't weigh in this morning... Matt and I (and surprisingly the dogs) slept in late... put the whole morning off routine.

I did have a really great workout yesterday. I mentioned briefly yesterday about the new sneakers and the treadmill. Well, I feel great that I was able to get the treadmill speed up to 4.0 mph. That's the fastest I've been able to run. I wasn't able to maintain it for any length of time, but at least I see an improvement. The faster I can run, the faster I can workout, right?

I also spent some time doing some lower body weight lifting. I must admit that I don't like doing the Yourself!Fitness lower body workouts. It's all lunges. That's no exaggeration. Lunges, followed by lunges followed by a few sets of lunges. So I just skip over the lower body choices (replace it with either the weight loss or cardio concentration). I love her upper body workout and do it several times a week. However, my lower body needs some weight training too. So yesterday I moved all Matt's bike stuff off the weight bench and got to work.

Having a bad knee means I have to think a little differently about my weight lifting. The surgery made my knee stronger (it hasn't had a serious dislocation since I had the surgery), but some problems still remain. My knee cap isn't smooth thanks to a bone fragment being dislodged when I first dislocated it back at the age of 13 (and the real reason I had surgery at 16... to get rid of the floating bone chip). This means my knee grinds when I bend it. The other issue with it is I've learned to favor my other leg. Not delibrately, but I know I favor that leg. So I've had to adjust to working my leg extensions and curls doing only one leg at a time. I am feeling it today. Both legs are more sore than they've been in a long time.

So I'm still trudging along on maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I feel good and I'm in a happy place right now. The weight will eventually come off, just like the first 60+. All I need is to get that motivation to do that extra work.

Well, I've Got The Whole "Maintance" Thing Down

2006-08-22T13:35:00.000-05:00

I'm supposed to weigh in tomorrow (and hopefully I will remember to do it), but I don't expect any changes.

I can't get myself psyched up to do that additional work to lose weight. I know how much I can eat compared to how much I workout to maintain my current weight (and this is a good thing), but pushing myself to do the extra workouts, or cut back a bit on the food just isn't going well right now.

Part of me celebrates the almost daily workouts, the awareness of what I'm eating, but an other part of me keeps reminding me that I'm not done yet... that I still want to lose an other 30 lbs.

I will say that every 10 lbs it has become just a little harder. The first 10 came off with out really trying. Simple changes (uh, like full sugared sodas) were easy in the beginning, but each step I've had to make more cuts, add more exercise and I'm wondering if I have the fortitude to make more sacrifices. Wanting to be 30 lbs lighter is nice, but doing is hard.

So I trudge along hoping that the routine won't be enough for me, that I'll get inspired to push myself that little harder.

Hmmm, maybe the new sneakers I just bought will help (well, I did jog a little faster on the treadmill today in them).

Non-Weigh In Wednesday

2006-08-16T14:51:00.000-05:00

I completely forgot to weigh in this morning. Probably didn't miss much. As I said, I did minimal workouts for the last week.

However, a passing comment about body image in a completely unrelated conversation with Lauren, made me stop and think about mine. This made me scroll thru some of my previous blog entries over the last couple of years.

Seeing some of the old photos of me is always a bit of a shock. Listening to myself and my own self esteem issues is also an eye opener.

My self confidence has improved sooo much over the last year or so. I know there are many factors to this. It's also a bit of the "chicken and the egg" thing. Is my self confidence better because I've lost weight and made some great friends, or have I lost weight and made friends because I've gained self confidence?

The low self esteem still rears it's ugly head now and then, but thanks to people around me who treat me with respect, it never lasts long.

So this is a shout out to all my friends and loved ones that have given me the positive support that has helped me reach the success that I've achieved to date. It's a long road and while it can be very lonely, having cheerleaders is a big help!!!

HRM DOA

2006-08-15T10:27:00.000-05:00

If you've been reading this blog for a while you know my basic philosophy with weight loss: calories in vs. calories out. I plan my calories like money and base my food and exercise like a budget.

However, my best tool for this (next to FitDay) is my heart rate monitor. It tracks my calories burned during my workouts. It knows how tall I am and how much I weigh. It also knows my heart rate. It really gives me the closest accurate count I can get. Sadly the batteries have died.

So for the time being, I'll use Maya's count on calories burned and Fitday's average for when I use the treadmill. I just won't know if I'm in the right cardio zone.

Last week was tough on me physically, so I did my minimal requirements for workouts, but starting this week I'm going back to the 2-a-days. I'm going to mix up Yourself!Fitness with the treadmill or the stationary bike. I might even ask Matt to set up his time trial bike on the trainer for me to try. Unlike his road bike, the trainer should actually fit me (you can't buy a smaller framed time trial bike than what he rides. Ahhhh it's so cute). I would like to get comfortable riding a regular bike so that he and I can ride together, but I want to make sure it's something I'm comfortable doing before we throw a lot of money into a bike for me.

The problem is that I haven't been on a real bike in years. I don't mean like 10 years, but closer to 25 years. It's not something I ever did a lot of as a child. I want to ride the trainer for a bit to see if I can get comfortable then maybe we'll go shopping for a bike for me.

Vicariously Fit

2006-08-14T12:44:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was the last big hurrah of the cycling season here. Matt probably will do one more race. If you read my knitting blog you'll know that Matt was very disappointed in his Tour de Christiana results. A bad crash, poor timing on the time trial and no points were gained to move up to a Cat 3 rider.

However, it was a lot of fun. I always ask the guys, as they sit around and bitch about how they did (man, these guys love to sit around and bitch about how they did in the races) if they had fun. Bryan, who also crashed on Saturday (pretty badly) but still had a great time trial (his specialty) on Sunday, cocked his head to the side, and thought about it for a few seconds and declared, yes, it was a great racing weekend. He had a lot of fun.

I guess that's the part a lot of people don't get about racing. They see the wins/trophey's/medels and high results. It's not about that at all. It's about the fun. The seeing how hard they can push themselves, even after a set back (like missing your starting time at the time trial). To evaluate, to talk about what you can improve, congradulating each other for the hard work. It's about the commradery of the sport. The individual effort, but still with a team mentality.

Matt lucked into a great group of guys. Most bikers do a "buddy system" style of training. You find someone with about the same skills/endurance/personality to train with. Cycling partners is very common. Matt and Jim are cycling buddies. However, Matt's whole team is very tight knit... to the point that an other rider at the race commented on it. It's hard for amatuers to have a decent sized team that close. It's hard to get together at the same time to train. So while cycling partners are common, a close knit team is very rare at this level. I know it's one of the reasons they have fun.

So I spent yesterday watching them blow themselves up (twice... time trial in the morning then a crit in the afternoon). I was beat by the time I got home. Makes me think about how tired I was just from cheering (yes, my throat hurts today) and I didn't even race.

I do envy them. In a good way. I really wish I had that drive, that kind of enjoyment, the physical ability to do something like that. I guess all I can do is what I'm capable of doing, but that doesn't mean that I can't appreciate what they do. Or how incredibly sexy Matt's legs are...

Men...

2006-08-10T16:16:00.000-05:00

see, one day late and I end up doing a second post in one day.

This one is a rant.

If you've been reading this fitness blog for a while you'll know that Matt and I happily gained weight together during the dating years. After we were married a few years, we both realized that the weight thing was out of control and we were looking at some life time health issues if we didn't take action.

Matt in his usual obsessive/over achieving ways has since lost 75 lbs, discovered the "joys" of cycling and has completely embraced the whole healthy life style thing.

However, some things don't change. He's off tonight to train for a time trial this weekend (actually it's a stage race that includes a time trial) and he put on his singlet (I call it the "off the rack onesy") and he actually asked me "do I look fat in this outfit?"

ya, life's just not fair...

A Day Late...

2006-08-10T07:43:00.000-05:00

I simply forgot to post yesterday. I knew I wasn't going to weigh myself this week, and so I forgot that it was Weigh In Wednesday.

Today's blog will be "girl" related. If you're uncomfortable hearing my talk about that sort of thing, then you might want to skip today's blog.

I simply couldn't deal with the weigh in this week. I knew it was going to be up (thanks to that whole girl thing) and I didn't want to throw myself into a depression over a slight (if temporary) weight gain. I'll weigh in next week.

One of the myths I've heard over the years is that exercise and proper diet can help ease menstral cramps. Quite frankly, it's a bunch of BS. My monthly discomfort has gotten so much worse since I've been exercising regularly, that I wonder if it's worth it. Now, granted, I can't guarentee that they are connected. It just might be coincidence. I can guarentee that it hasn't helped.

I'm guessing that it's more likely that I'm getting older and/or that I no longer use a hormone based birth control (after 17 years of being on either birth control pills or Norplant). I'm not sure that it's birth control (or lack thereof) related, as these symptoms started while I was still on the pill.

Other things have also been noticable: night sweats, drastic changes in body temperture, irregular periods and spotting between. So I'm guessing that my body is starting the process of menopause. Let's just hope it doesn't go on for the next 15 years!

So I don't expect much change in weight over the next week, but I'll try to keep on schedule with my workouts and as always keep the eating thing in check.

Wednesday Weigh In

2006-08-02T09:45:00.000-05:00

Oh joy!

Today's Weigh In:

weight: 154.5 lbs
fat %: 38%

So that's down one pound. Ya, that's nice, but I never lose sleep or get excited over 1 lb in either direction.

However, it always does feel better to see it down rather than up, and I'll continue to add the extra treadmill work in addition to my Maya workout.

The food thing has been hit or miss. I try most of the time, but there's times when it's just not practical. I don't lose sleep over it. If I was obsessed about how fast I could lose the weight, I would be more militant. I prefer the healthy, realistic lifetime lasting lifestlye change. Most of the habits, especially from an eating standpoint, have become habit. The exercise will always be a struggle. While I can make it a part of my routine, it still doesn't take much for me to put it off. However, I know that I'll work out the next day, so I guess in a way it has become a habit... not just a daily habit.

Matt turns 38 tomorrow. He's come so far in changing his lifestyle. He was in his mid 20's when he started seeing the health risks involved with his being overweight and inactive (high blood pressure and an irregular heart beat). He's officially at the 75 lbs lost point. He no longer has an irregular heartbeat. His body fat % is about 8% and he's in such great shape. I'm so proud of him. His biking has changed both of our lives and all for the better. It's improved his health, he's made some absolutely wonderful friends and I enjoy it all as well. (I guess I should also add that biking is an expensive hobby, which is nice when I want to buy yarn).

So it's what keeps me going and trying. Why I'll never stop being aware of what and how much I'm eating. Why I'll always try to stay active. I don't us to slow down as we get older because I can't keep up.

Oh Krap...

2006-07-26T07:29:00.000-05:00

... it's Weigh In Wednesday

Weight: 155.4 lbs
Body Fat: 38%

Hmmm, that's what it was last week. I'm trying very very hard not to dwell on it.

I started doing an extra workout a day on Monday. I think I'll continue to do "2-A-Days". I simply can't work out for more than 1 hour at a time. I get so bored (I can't do anything for a solid 1 hour. Even hobbies that I enjoy I need to take frequent breaks from). So that means I'm working with Yourself Fitness as usual during the day and then I'm adding a little treadmill work after dinner. If that doesn't work, I'll add an extra treadmill workout before breakfast.

On top of it all... my food scale needs a new battery. Sigh

Anyway, as I said, it's only the first week of concentration and I'm trying not to dwell on it.

Weigh In Wednesday

2006-07-19T08:41:00.000-05:00

Whew, just finished my treadmill workout while watching the Tour de France. Nothing quite motivating than that!

Here's my weigh in results (and not at all unexpected):

Weight: 155.4 lbs
Body fat %: 38.1%

So that's what I assumed I was and a perfect time to get motivated again.

So let's see if I can drop one pound this week. For me, that can be a bit of a challenge, as I seem to average only about a half pound.

Yet an other Milestone

2006-07-18T08:26:00.000-05:00

I had an interesting weekend. It was a busy one, with the two things that are the main focus in my life: knitting and bike racing (yeah, I'm not the bike racer, but it's an important part of my life too)

On Friday I went to The Knitting Guild of America's east coast conference. This is held near my house at the Valley Forge Convention center. There's been knitting events there for as long as I've lived in the area. Either Stitches or the TKGA conference.

The conference center is spread over two hotels. One hotel has the classes and the other the vendor show. I've been going for several years. It's a long walk between the two, and includes some stairs.

I remember a couple of years ago really struggling physically going back and forth (especially the stairs). Not this year. I didn't even feel the pain. I actually spent all day on my feet shopping at the vendors (and spent waaaay tooooo much money heeheehee) and didn't really feel it. The stairs weren't even an issue and walking over to the other building for lunch felt "normal". A definite indication that I've come a really long way. My legs weren't sore, I didn't get short of breath. I actually felt good.

My only mistake? Not enough water, but I made sure I drank a lot when I got home.

Saturday was spent supporting Matt at a bike race. While I felt so good on Friday, being around bikers always makes me feel out of shape. The weather was nasty... think tropics, including that muggy rain. Ugh. Anyway, it was very motivating for me.

So while I've been concentrating on getting back to regular workouts, I haven't really done the food deficit that I need to do to drop weight. The workouts help me keep my weight steady, but I need both to actually lose weight.

Well, I'm back on full "weight loss mode". Trying to keep my food intake to about 1200 calories combined with my workouts.

So you can look forward to Weigh In Wednesdays again... don't expect an unusual number tomorrow. I'm guessing I'll be around 155 lbs.

The Fat Chick

2006-07-11T10:35:00.000-05:00

I must admit I'm really struggling with my physical appearance right now. I don't think this is a bad thing, as I am hoping that this is going to motivate me to work harder and eat smarter.

I'm making efforts to put more emphasis on my appearance by getting some better fitting clothes (rule one in weight loss: don't wear ill fitting clothes. You'll just look frumpy) wearing make up and just generally paying more attention to how I look.

The problem is that I still feel like the fat chick. I know that it's probably just my own low self esteem, but having a husband that is in top physical condition makes me very aware of how out of shape I look. While I've been celebrating my weight loss, I do forget that I'm far from my goal.

I find it odd that I am more self concious of my weight now that I've lost 60 lbs than I did when I was obese. Maybe because I'm trying now and I wasn't then? Is that why I don't usually put an effort into my physical appearance? If I try and fail, then I'm a failure, but if I don't try then I can always use the excuse "well, I didn't try".

Well, you can't be a failure without trying... and the only way to sucess is to try... so off I go to workout!

And yes, Marilyn: the only way to get to 30 lbs is to start with the first 5 lbs. And I can't lose those 5 until I lose the first pound!

Obligatory Update

2006-07-10T10:25:00.000-05:00

Okay, I need to update before Lauren emails me...

Things are kinda still stalled. Just not motivated to do that "extra" to lose weight.

I have been making a more conscientious effort to put more effort into my physical appearance. It does boost my self confidence and I think wearing make up is a positive for me.

So I still need to get into food deficit mode... and I'm really struggling with that. I haven't lost any weight in such a long time... ya, I've lost 3 or 4 lbs here and there, but it's been up and down now for about a year and a half, keeping in in the same 5 lb range.

It's about dedication and I've been doing the minimal for that time... with little spurts of dedication. Gotta get over the 60lbs lost and concentrate on the next 30 lbs...

How did that happen?

2006-06-29T15:03:00.000-05:00

Wow, I didn't realize that I hadn't blogged here all week!!! Normally that's a good indication that I'm not working as hard as I should.

That's not the case. I'm keeping to my workouts. The diet? Well, that not so much (too many good cooks at Theresa's Tuesday night).

The good news? Well, Matt's decided he needs to lose an other 5 lbs. Yes, I know, I know, he's already at a nice healthy weight and is in excellent condition. However, from a racing standpoint, he wants to drop those last couple of pounds, get his body fat % down to about 4% and hopefully lose that little bit of extra around his waist (he thinks that's why he sits so upright on the bike).

Now while it's annoying that men lose weight at a more rapid rate than women, having him also in weight loss mode makes it easier for me. It's just easier for me if we're on the same page. Of course he'll still lose that weight faster than I can lose 5 lbs.

So hopefully the diet thing will be on track soon. It's definitely the hard part.

Fixed!

2006-06-25T13:53:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Lauren, (*cough* April 30th??? don't you think it's time to update????) I fixed the comments. I had accidently changed the setting on who can comment, but now anyone can comment. I just have to approve them.

Now back to the actual "fitness" part of this blog.

I think I'm back to a regular workout schedule again. I'm trying to work in Yourself!Fitness 3 days a week, which is a great overall body cardio and a nice upper body concentration. I'm also doing the stationary bike or the treadmill on the alternate days while trying to get some lower body weight lifting in.

I still can't quite break the soreness yet, but I know that fades a bit as I get used to the workouts. It also wouldn't hurt to take some pain reliever every once in a while.

I guess I need to buckle down and work a bit on the food again. I'm comfortable maintaining this weight (obviously, as I've been at about the same weight for a year and a half now). So I need to start tracking again, going back down to 1200 (ugh!) calories. I'll probably do the same thing... try to drop 10 lbs, then spend some time at that weight before I tackle the next. It seems to be the way I'm the most comfortable losing weight. If I loose too much too fast, it seems to come back. Slow and steady... okay, really really slow, and somewhat steady.

So back to tracking... something I hate having to do, but it really is the most effective way to lose weight.

Comments

2006-06-22T20:04:00.000-05:00

I've done a little house cleaning here. I've taken the tagboard down and I've put my comments on moderation. I've been having some spamming issues, and while I hate making it harder for people to leave comments, I'm not willing to let my blog become spam central.

Just killing time...

2006-06-22T13:51:00.000-05:00

I'm about to head off to do my walk/jog on the treadmill. I'm just waiting for my afternoon snack to sort of settle before I attack the treadmill.

I've been cycling thru my different workouts and they're feeling pretty good. I did Maya's upper body workout yesterday and I realized that I get impatient with the breaks between sets. When I do weights on my own, I take rests between sets, but not nearly as long as she does. I'm sure part of that is I want to get it done.

It's my biggest issue with my workouts: I just want to get them done. I really struggle with boredom and impatience when I'm working out. I simply loose interest and I start to think about the other things I would rather be doing.

So here I sit and procrastinate getting on the treadmill. It's hot out and I'm glad I'm working out indoors with A/C, but I also need to find something that keeps me motivated. I'm heading out with Matt tonight for a training ride so I can get some pictures. Maybe that will keep me motivated. Nothing like a bunch of skinny bike riders (who's legs are better shaved) to keep me working hard!!!

Panic! at the Disco

2006-06-20T16:18:00.000-05:00

Our workout room has flourescent lights. I hate flourescent lights. Now, don't get me wrong, they put out a lot of light... and I love light. Almost obsessively so. I want a well lit room for everything but sleeping.

So on Sunday when I was on the treadmill, the flourescent right above it started to flicker. It was a wee bit distracting... I felt like I should be on roller skates and grooving to Gloria Gaynor. I shut off the lights and worked out in the dreary room (keeping my music to XM's Ethel).

Today was the bike and lower body weights. Ugh, I need lights for that. Luckily Matt did find a bulb and replaced it for me. So all is well again. Ya, I know, it doesn't take much to make a drama for me... especially when it cames to my workouts!

I continue on my path of visual improvements. Well, I still haven't gotten my hair cut, but I've splurged on some new clothes this week and I'm trying to address the dark hair/fair skin issue by using the tinted moisturizer. I have to honestly say, I'm feeling better about how I look... just need to keep it up.

Breaking thru the pain

2006-06-19T07:17:00.000-05:00

If you read my knitting blog, you'll know that I tagged along with Matt for his races over the weekend. Nothing like hanging out with a bunch of fit cyclists to get me motivated. For lots of reasons.

One: I'm very self conscious of how unfit I look when hanging around these guys. Matt is so incredibly in shape and I feel like his frumpy wife standing next to him.

Two: I saw myself if a picture from the race. Ya, that whole vanity thing really does work. I not only feel frumpy, but I looked frumpy too (but that's also due to what I was wearing... more on that later).

Three: It's so motivating to listen to these guys talk about the races, how they feel, how hard they work etc. it's easy to forget that it's just as hard for them as it is for me... they just can break thru the pain and keep going.

I think that's always the biggest surprise for me. I think people who do a physical activity as a hobby find it easier than those of us that force ourselves to work out. It some ways it is, as they do get a pleasure out of it that I don't, but it's just as much work. They feel the same pain. They struggle with their own self doubt too. It makes me realize that I just need to keep going, to break thru that initial pain to find my stride (then deal with the boredom).

Actually, the riding with a pack really breaks up the boredom. As Matt said, it's much easier to ride for a three hour training ride with a group than to do it by yourself. The appeal of the racing isn't really about the racing, it's about the comradere. There's a bond between these guys that's fun to watch. They wish each other luck. They share info on who's strong in the race, they talk about the course. They go out and race competively then they talk about it after (ad nauseum). It's an odd combination of competition and friendship. Complete strangers bond instantly when they work together on a break. There's a respect among the riders that is so inspirational.

Anyway, it was a very motivating weekend for me.

It helped me considerably with my workout yesterday plus it made me evaluate my clothing choices. One of the photos from the race includes a blurry shot of me in profile... and I look pretty frumpy. Not just from the extra 30-40 lbs I carry, but from my clothing choices. I need to be more aware of what I'm wearing and how I dress. The jeans were not flattering on me at all. While I tried to buy a pair of jeans one size smaller, I chose the wrong brand and they just aren't comfortable for me. So I ordered the LL Bean jeans that I know are cut for my shape and down one size. I also got a pair of shorts (they were sold out of the capri's I wanted).

I guess if I'm going to use this whole vanity thing as a motivating force, I need to put some effort into my entire appearance. I guess a haircut and maybe some makeup wouldn't be out of line either.

Well, that didn't work, did it?

2006-06-14T14:22:00.000-05:00

Okay, forget posting at a specific time as that's not working. I really wanted to blog after my workouts, but the timing just hasn't been working. So I'll be blogging when the mood strikes me rather than at specific times/events.

I've been putting a lot of thought and evaluation into this whole "weight loss" thing again (do you ever stop once you start?... part of me misses those days of not caring).

I have to admit I've been resting on my laurels. While positive reinforcement is good and healthy, I've been more focused on how much I've lost rather than how much more I have to go.

I'm not sure that's such a bad thing (again, positive reinforcement can be healthy). However, I need to remember that a healthy weight is a journey, not a destination. I've enjoyed the view at 152 lbs for a while now, and I need to move onto the next phase of my journey.

I think it comes down to what motivates us. Me, it was the start of some health issues that were weight related (as it seems so many are). I've seen improvements with my cholestrol, my blood pressure and just general physical well being. So part of me says "well, you hit the 'get healthy' goal, now just maintain it". While I know that being at my current weight is better than my previous weight, my risk factors for so many things will improve if I drop down to a "healthy weight".

So now I'm starting to look for other motivations and I'm thinking physical appearance might be the ticket. I've always had a size in mind, but it was never really a motivating factor for me.

However now that I'm getting older, I'm starting to feel "flabbier", especially in the thighs. So now I'm going to try to use the flab as a motivator.

Don't get me wrong: I have no aspirations to become a competitive bodybuilder or a supermodel (hey, I'm 5'2" and 37 years old... I think the best I can shoot for is "cute"). I just want to work towards firming up and losing the jiggle.

That means lots of cardio (burn off that fat, baby!) and more weights. I'm also working at more variety. I've been sort of stuck in a rut doing the same workout day after day and I think I need to expand my horizons. Walking, biking, weights and Yourself!Fitness are now going to be changed up. I've been working on the weights more often, specifically lower body (as I've been reading up on my knee issues, and strength training is very beneficial... yes, I knew that. I never should've stopped after my post surgery rehab). Hmmm, maybe this whole physcial appearance focus will have other benefits; next thing ya know, I'll actually get my hair cut!

Brace Me

2006-06-05T14:14:00.000-05:00

I'm going to try a slightly different schedule with my fitness blog. I've been doing it about the same time I do my knitting blog, which is no where near my workout. So I'm either trying to remember what I wanted to say from my previous day's workout or what I'm planning on doing that day. Instead, I'm going to try to update after my workout.

The temperature may have dropped to cooler tempertures, but the humidity certainly hasn't improved. Makes for a hot and sweaty workout.

It also makes my knee hurt. I'm not sure why, but I have a terrible time with humidity and my knee (scar tissue, perhaps?). Today was treadmill day and I was all ready to run. As I was doing my warmup and slowly increasing to my jogging speed, I started getting sharp pains. Sigh. Matt and I had had a conversaton after my last jogging session about a knee brace. Okay, so I did around and find one... however, it didn't fit. Long story short, I ended up just walking.

I still had a good workout, but I'm getting really discouraged about the jogging. There's a part of my brain that says "you aren't built to jog, give it up and just keep with the stuff you can do. don't hurt yourself" an other part of my brain says "you can do it! it'll just take more work for you to get to those goals. Goals are good and keep you interested in your workout"

So I'm still split on how smart the whole jogging thing is. It's purely psychological: I'm afraid of hurting my knee yet again, yet an other part of me sees that jogging is an indication of a healthy fitness level.

Still won't get me to do jumping jacks, tho!

Some and not the other

2006-06-02T07:10:00.000-05:00

Well being away for a couple of days did throw off my workout regimine again, but not the diet (and that's fairly typical of me). I just didn't take the time to workout for 3 days. However, I figured that would happen and adjusted my calorie intake.

I wasn't able to do my weigh in Wednesday this week, but I thought I would do it this morning, just to keep the numbers fresh in my head.

152 lbs

Considering that it's a water retention week, that's not bad. I should be back under 150 in no time.

Today I'm planning on doing the running thing. I think I can hit my 1 mile goal by the end of June. I'm not 100% sure about the whole jogging thing yet. I must admit that my knee was pretty sore after... all the way into the next day. I'm just not sure if it can handle the impact. I like the idea of the goal and I do think that I should be able to do it, but I'm not going to risk yet an other knee injury just to prove a point to myself.

I know I can do Maya and I've learned which exercises I need to adjust to keep the strain off my knee (and I still don't do jumping jacks). I still hope that as I continue to lose weight, I'll be putting less stress on it and it can handle more impact.

For as much as the initial goal here is weight loss, the fact is, I want to be more physically fit. Being in shape is more important to me than the number on the scale. However, they are connected. I'll be in better shape once I get below the "overweight" range that I'm currently in. I can't be in great shape if I'm lugging around an extra 30+lbs.

So back on schedule today... and thank goodness I workout indoors in A/C... where did this hot humid weather come from already????

Almost a Mile, stone!

2006-05-29T20:13:00.000-05:00

As I've mentioned, I'm trying to add jogging to my workout routine. With not a lot of enthusiasm. Bad knees and big boobs are not conductive to running. However, I'm slowly trying to increase my distance each time, with my short term goal of running 1 mile.

I'm getting there. Today I was just shy of 3/4 of a mile. I started to feel my knee "weaken" so I stopped and walked the rest of the way. The cardio endurance is definitely there, but my body isn't real fond of it.

Matt was given some great advise on Thursday by one of the strongest bike riders in our area. He and Matt were out on a break and Matt was doing everything he could to stay on his wheel, when it was Matt's turn to take his turn on the front, he couldn't do it "and sat up"... meaning he didn't take his turn. Well the chase group saw it, and it motivated them to work harder to catch the break. "Pain is temporary, everyone is in pain, but you've got to work thru it. If you had just worked thru that pain, the break would've worked, as we had broken the chase group. You can relax on your couch tonight".

There's a lot of useful information in that. First, this guy thinks Matt's strong enough to stay with him. He has the physical skills to be that level of a rider, but he still needs to learn how to push himself past that "safety point"- that point where your body tells you that it really isn't enjoying itself and would appreciate it if you would stop right now. You need to ignore that voice...

I thought about that the entire time I was jogging. This is only a short momement in time. It's temporary. I can sit later, but right now I need to work thru this and push myself past that 1/2 mile mark.

I'm one of those people that as soon as I feel discomfort, I want to stop. Some days I do. Matt can move past that point... he can work to the point where he feels like he's going to throw up. Then there's this group of people that don't have "safety switch" who continue to work even if they feel like throwing up, or see dots before their eyes... they continue to push their bodies so they can throw their bike over the line.

Ya, that's not me... but I can live with the temporary pain of pushing my body past where it wants me to take it. It'll thank me later...

Ah, a holiday... no biggie, right?

2006-05-29T07:27:00.000-05:00

Actually holidays aren't nearly as challenging for me as for some. We keep the holiday meals pretty casual as it's just me, Matt and his brother. We're all aware of keeping to a healthy diet (and my BIL is a vegetarian) so I don't have to worry about being tempted by the usual "shiney salads" that are served at most picnics. I have to say that I like having the control of being the hostess.

We'll do low fat hot dogs and Boca burgers on the grill, I'll make a non shiney pasta salad (meaning that it will be full of veggies and no mayo) and I have the watermelon all sliced and ready to go.

I still think the biggest challenge for a day like this is fitting in the workout. Monday is Matt's usual day off and today will be no different (mine's usually Saturday, as I've found that's the day that I have the most problem fitting it in). So I'll have to spend some time this morning for my workout. I need to get a lot of things done today since I'll be gone the rest of the week, plus we have our picnic late this afternoon... and I MUST finish the first sleeve on the Rose Leaf Pullover (heehee).

An other reason I want to get my workout in early is so I can pack up my Xbox to take with me (gee, it's times like this that I wish I had a Gamecube... oh wait, I can't get Y!F for the Gamecube... so forget about it). I'll also pack a game or two to take with me... the problem is that I'm gaming more on the PS2 right now and not sure what to take for the Xbox.

Well, off to pack, cook, workout and knit (not necessarily in that order).

For those in the US: have a safe and happy Memorial Day!

Food Choices

2006-05-28T05:29:00.000-05:00

I worked with Maya on Friday. We decided that I needed an hour upper body workout. She must've felt bad about skipping those $*&$*#&^ lunges the day before, so we did globs of them (I still haven't figured out her obsession with lunges. Even on the upper body workout days). Yikes! It was a great workout and I must admit I'm enjoying getting back to my daily workouts.

However, I'm off to stay with a friend who is recovering from surgery for a few days. I should be able stick with my workouts (a little jogging with her dog should help). I'm also going to lug my Xbox with me so I can take Maya with me. I'm so glad she's portable (heehee). I'm going to really try to stay on schedule while I'm away.

Matt and I just got back from the grocery store and I was looking at our food choices spread out on the conveyer belt. Apart from the lite hot dogs, there wasn't any meat products (tho' I swear I should buy stock in Boca). It amazes me how much we've changed our eating habits over the years. Well, I'm not counting the vodka sauce that Matt put in the cart. I won't touch it (180 calories/10 grams of fat for 1/2 cup seriving). He can afford that kind of splurge, especially after his Tuesday or Thursday night training rides.

It was mostly perishables (fruits/veggies/non fat dairy/bread) with some basic stables (like the Boca). I just think back to when we first started this journey and what our cart used to look like. I even was looking at all the crap on the shelves and thinking about how much really horrible foods are so easy to get... easier to get than the healthy stuff actually. It's no wonder that so many people struggle with making the right choice. We're so inidated with the crap.

I know it's a catch-22. Bike manufacturer's run into this. They get complaints about all the pink girl bikes, so they make other colors for the girl's bikes. The problem is that it's the pink ones that sell. So they make more pink bikes. People bitch about the lack of healthy choices at McDonald's, so McDonald's tried to put some less crappy things on their menus, but they don't sell. So we're inidated with crappy convient food at the grocery store... as that's what we want. Rather we want to admit it or not (or is it just shifting blame? a lack of responsibility?).

It's funny, but even as I was glancing at all the crap (and annoyed with the fat free salad dressing choices... where was my fat free honey mustard dressing???) I realized that it's gotten so easy to skip out on those crappy choices. I'm not sure if it's because we found the healthy foods that we like or if we've just changed our tastes so much that we no longer feel the need to eat the junk. Either way, it just shows that given enough time, enough effort and being open minded, you can change your eating habits to where the new habits are ingrained.

Forest Vs. Trees

2006-05-26T07:04:00.000-05:00

I originally started this in response to Debbi's (go wish her a happy birthday!) comments from yesterday, but realized how long it was getting (heehee), and I think it sums up my attitude about my weight loss/fitness journey.

Sometimes life does intervene. Injuries do happen (trust me, I know), schedules prevent the time necessary for a solid workout. I spend a total of 4 minutes a day brushing my teeth (2 in the morning and 2 in the evening). It might be a habit, but committing to an hour or more of exercise is a lot different than spending 4 minutes a day brushing my teeth. Especially when it's not something I want to do. So yes, while the goal is to make it a habit, you have to accept that sometimes it just doesn't happen. The key is to never allow it to be the excuse for not starting again the next day.

The key to long term success is balance. To accept that there are bad days, but to get up the next and go forward. There's a reason that most people fail in their weight loss goals. They set up these "all or nothing" mentalities. They're gung ho in the beginning, then they'll miss one day, then two, then a week, etc. Next thing is they're not even trying anymore. You can't do that. You have to accept that there will be periods in your life that things won't go according to schedule, then not allow it be the reason why it comes to a complete stop.

I know that my weight loss has been slow, but the fact that I'm still even trying this long is unusual. I see it all the time. People get motivated, then their enthusism wanes and they slow down. My goals haven't changed, nor will they. I haven't given up in the 7 years that I've been on this journey, nor do I plan to.

I might need to take the mental break here and there. Just like a vacation from a job, but that doesn't mean that I ever will have the luxery of not working out or eating healthy.

I guess I'm more interested in the forest rather than the trees. I don't beat myself up over one unhealthy meal or a missed workout (or 6). I'm more interested in my overal success. And the fact is that I've lost 60 lbs. It may have taken me 7 years to do that, but the fact that while most women my age are gaining weight, I'm down to the weight I was in college.

So I've found my key to be balance and forgiveness. I can't change the past, only the future. I refuse to feel guilty for missed workouts or a bad food choice. What's done is done, but I never allow it to be the reason I stop working towards my goal.

On Workout Content: I worked with Maya yesterday. Not one single lunge. Mark your calander, as I believe that was a first. I did the "weight loss" concentration for 30 minutes. I always forget how much of a better workout I get with Yourself!Fitness. My shoulders and arms are sore today... not something I get when I jog on the treadmill.

I've sort of stopped keeping up with the Y!F forums, but I did see on the Gamefaq site that there is a new Y!F in the works. Let's hope so. I really prefer using it more than any other workout I've tried, but I need it "refreshed". I'm also wondering if I should buy the PS2 version, since I'm playing more PS2 than the Xbox -oh, and the rumor I've heard is the new Y!F is going to be for next gen. Hmmm, think I can justify the $600 for a PS3 as a workout tool... I mean a good time trial bike runs over $3000, so think of the savings!!)

Getting back to routine

2006-05-25T07:00:00.000-05:00

One of the ways I need to get myself back on routine is to make myself more accountable. That's why I started blogging this whole fitness thing in the first place (and to help people who also struggle see that those "before" and "after" forget that whole "during" part). So I'm going to try to blog more than once a week (hmmm, I think I've said that before)

Thanks so much Debbi for the encouragement. You said the same thing I've said many times. My problem is that I've now been doing this for over 7 years and it does get old. Seven years of continual food obsession, fighting myself over my workouts for a whopping 60 lbs weight loss. I guess it's just like being in debt. Sometimes you just want to stop worrying about it so much.

I go thru cycles with my focus on fitness. I get myself into a nice comfortable routine where I'm working out daily, I see results and I feel good (maybe tired and sore, but in a good way... most of the time). Then something happens: vacation, or injury, or a busy schedule and I'm thrown off my routine. I then have serious problems getting back into that routine. I think it's because I really hate working out. I haven't found my "magic bullet".

Matt and I talk about it a lot. He likes to say that it's just as hard for him to workout. He doesn't always want to workout. He get sore and tired, etc too. The difference is that he's passionate about his cycling. He might struggle to get on the bike, but once he's on it, the passion kicks in and he ends up enjoying the time on the bike. He actually struggles with recovery, often over training. He feels the same way about cycling as I do about knitting. Even if he's not on the bike, he's thinking about it. Planning his next ride. Evaluating his training schedule. He's found his "magic bullet".

I simply haven't found a workout activity that I'm that passionate about. Even when I force myself to do a workout, I never enjoy it. I'm constantly looking at how much time I have left. How much farther do I have to go. I just don't enjoy it. Any part of it. I've tried different things and none of them are my "magic bullet".

It comes down to basic personality. I'm a sedatary person. Trying to change that, force that change is hard... just like someone who is shy trying to be outgoing and social. I can fake it for a while, but given an opportunity, my basic personality will override my attempt to be more physical.

So right now I'm purely concentrating on getting back to routine. I'm not going to worry about how many calories I'm burning or even if I'm losing weight. I just need to get back to a daily routine. (slowly... I've learned that lesson the hard way... many time! Too fast and I hurt myself).

I rode the stationary bike yesterday for 10 miles. My goals right now are to do something everyday for about a half hour then work myself back to the hour+ workouts. I've got to incorporate my weight training back into my schedule too. I see a big difference since I'm not doing them consistantly (my weight my be about the same, but I'm much "flabbier").

Let me also say that I love getting comments. It keeps me motivated to know that other people are out there struggling along and care about how I'm doing.

Oops, Wrong Way

2006-05-24T06:53:00.000-05:00

Well, the Weigh In Wednesday was as expected: not good. I'm back to 153 lbs. That's gotta change. I'm simply not working out enough right now.

I'm at that "tired of the process" point right now. I know how much work this is and I'm resenting the time that I need to work out, as there are other things I want to be doing. I simply can not bring myself to put in the effort right now.

I also realized how much soda I'm drinking again. I like to limit how much diet soda I drink. For several reasons. Drinking soda cuts into my water consumption, and I need to be drinking more water. I also don't want all that sodium. So I'm concentrating on just one soda a day again. I also think that the fake sugar triggers my appetite.

I've also got to start using Fitday again. I really hate the amount of work tracking my food is, but I have to do it. If I don't know what I'm eating, and I'm barely working out, the weight creeps back on (obviously).

It gets a little frustrating: I know what I have to do, I know that I can even do it, but sometimes that knowledge is not a good thing. It takes a lot of work and sacrifice and sometimes that's overwhelming. Quite frankly, I want my life back instead of this constant concern over everything I eat and how much I'm working out.

Damage Report

2006-05-10T05:42:00.000-05:00

AKA: Weigh In Wednesday

Actually, considering that I haven't been working out regularly (or much at all) and I've gotten very lazy with the food choices. I'm actually quite pleased with my weigh in.

152.4 lbs

Yes, that's up 2.5 lbs, but hardly surprising, considering. Let's also hope that it's the wake up call I need to get my butt in gear again.

I did my jogging on the treadmill yesterday and got the 1/2 mile at a jog and walked the other half. I really want to get on a regular schedule with it. Three times a week jogging then the rest of the workouts with Maya and some weights.

Okay, back on track I go...

Another Non Weigh In Wednesday

2006-05-03T12:06:00.000-05:00

Uh-Oh, I didn't weigh in again this morning. It's been weeks since I've weighed myself... and that's not good.

I so constantly do this to myself, you would think I would learn by now.

I do these mini goals (which is a good thing)

I then hit these mini goals (which is a very good thing)

Then I stop working so hard (not such a good thing... it's actually a very bad thing)

I'm always aware of what I'm eating, and I try to keep it with in range, but I'm not tracking it. I'm not working out (a really really bad thing) so I know I'm back over 150 lbs.

It gets frustrating. I know what I'm supposed to do, I even know I can do it, but it is just sooooo hard sometimes. I can even see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I can't get myself motivated to work out or track my food.

Maybe a little break is good once in a while, but I really don't want to keep doing this 2 steps forward, one step back thing, which is what I've been doing over the last 10 years or so.

I will make my goal weight! I just need to stay focused.

No News Isn't Always Good News, eh?

2006-04-27T11:32:00.000-05:00

So I haven't been doing my Wednesday Weigh Ins (missed 2 weeks). This is never a good sign. It means that I'm not weighing in, and that's dangerous. That's how the weight creeps back up.

Let's see what happened since my last post. Hmmm, I turned a year older... getting me one year closer to that 40 landmark (I want to be at my goal weight by 40... giving me a 100 lb weight loss over 10 years). I started a handful of new knitting projects and may have even bought some yarn. Okay, I bought a lot of yarn. I think I like buying yarn better than knitting.

It's about Optimism. Potential. Creativity. There's something very positive about new yarn. I see so much that I can do with that colorful piece of string. It never ceases to amaze me.

I'm trying to stay focused on positives in my life, and that's always been a struggle with me. My low self esteem rears it's ugly head at times that surprise me and sort of throws me for a loop. This is one of those weeks. The self doubt starts to creep back into my psychie and I don't want it there.

I've made some fabulous friends thru my knitting group and we celebrated the April birthdays, so I didn't have my usual pity party for myself on my birthday this year. Matt made a special day for me as well, and we had a lovely dinner with friends in celebration. So it fell into one of the best birthdays I've celebrated. Thoughtful friends, gifts and energy. It's so very very much appreciated.

So maybe my bad mood this week is just the let down of a great week last week? Some weird things happened this week and it might have triggered the bad mood.

So I'm not tracking my food. I had planned on taking some time off from tracking for the week of my birthday anyway, but I haven't gotten back on track again. The workouts have become very sporatic... and when I did my Tuesday upper body workout with Yourself!Fitness it was grueling! (I may have mentioned this once or twice in the past: I hate %$^#^%$ lunges!!!!!)

So a refocus is in order. My doctor's office didn't call with my cholestrol numbers, and quite frankly, that's good. I could call to find out, but I'm in range, or they would've called. I do need to stay focused. My cholesterol is something I'm going to have to monitor my entire life, and just because I'm within a healthy range, doesn't mean I can abruptly stop paying attention to what and how much I'm eating.

This weekend Matt has a 2 day race. Saturday is the road race, then on Sunday he'll have a mountain time trial in the morning, then a criterium in the afternoon. He actually has a pretty decent chance of a high finish on the time trial. Here's a profile of the course (click to for a larger view):
Hmmm, it's called "Pain Mountain Time Trial". Glad I'm not doing it!!!
I might try to go on Sunday. It's a long day, but it's always fun to watch him race.

Wednesday Weigh In

2006-04-12T12:47:00.000-05:00

Well, it's supposed to be Wednesday Weigh In, but I completely forgot to weigh in this morning, as I had to run in to my doctor's office first thing this morning for my lab work.

I did have my doctor check my weight history and the hightest I ever weighed in was 211 lbs. I know I hit higher than that, but we'll use that as an "official" starting weight.

I weighed in at the doctor's office at 153 lbs. I had really wanted to be below 150 lbs, but since I had to wear clothes, I guess that was a bit unrealistic. However, I'm going to shoot for 140ish for next year's visit.

The biggest concern is always my cholesterol numbers. I've relaxed a bit with my diet (not with the calories, but with the cholesterol focus) so I'm hoping that I didn't blow my numbers over the last year. We'll see. It's always a motivating factor for me.

Actually, I've always been more focused about the weight loss/exercise when I'm worried about my health. The vanity thing just isn't a factor for me. I guess because I know that I'm still the same person at this weight than I was 125 lbs or 211 lbs that I never really thought about how other people viewed me at what ever weight I was. Finding clothes to fit became a problem (hey, it still is... mass produced clothing fits very few people "right") and that was a bit of a wake up call. However, it's always been some kind of health related issue that has made me realize that I needed to eat healthier and to do regular workouts. Whether it was my cholestrol numbers, family history or even the beginnings of high blood pressure, I felt more responsible when it came to my health.

So hopefully my numbers will come back in a healthy range. I know that the cholesterol will be a life long challenge: something I've always got to be aware of with my food choices. The main reason I workout.

One Step At A Time

2006-04-10T15:14:00.000-05:00

I've been sort of lacking on posting between weigh ins. However, I really want this blog to be about the journey, just not the weight.

Anyway, I hit a milestone today. I don't like running. I'm not even sure what I do can be called "running". It's more a jog, or actually a bouncing walk.

I've been trying to increase my walking on the treadmill to include more jogging with my current goal of being able to jog an entire mile. I started slowly, increasing my distance slow and steady. I've been able to do a little better than one lap for a while now, but today was the first I've done 2 laps (1/2 mile) all at once. I had done a half mile before, but only with a little walk break between laps.

While I don't ever expect that I'll become a "jogger", there is something so very efficient about it. I can very rapidly raise my heart rate. I can burn a lot of calories very quickly. I guess part of it is also mental. I feel like I'm an active person if I can jog at least one mile. I think it will prove to me that I am more physically fit now than ever before.

Also, after much rescheduling, I'm finally getting to the doctor's tomorrow. I went and had my mamogram on Friday (and it was very very easy... much less uncomfortable than I expected). Fingers crossed, I'll weigh in on their scale less than 150 lbs! I'll post weight results tomorrow...

Wednesday Weigh In

2006-04-05T05:57:00.000-05:00

Woo-hoo!!!

Starting weight: 214 lbs
Last week weight: 151.6
Today's weight: 149.6 lbs

let me say "woo-hoo!" again.

Finally!!!

So the 150 lb plateau has been broken. Let's hope the 140 lbs platuea is shorter lived!

Wednesday Weigh In

2006-03-29T07:38:00.000-05:00

Well, I expected to have a little gain this week. Between the eating out and the busy schedule (not as much exercise), I'm also retaining water. Which I'm sure is the big culpret.

Starting weight: 214 lbs
Last week's weight: 150.2 lbs
This week's weight: 151.6 lbs

Actually, for a water retention week, that's not bad. I can gain as much as 3 lbs. So I ain't complaining.

However, I really don't want to get lazy. Either with my diet or with my exercise.

I'll spend this week trying to be a bit more careful (not an easy task, as again, it's a busy week) and hope to see a big drop next week (dare I say below 150????).

Wednesday Weigh In

2006-03-22T06:26:00.000-05:00

What, again????

Starting weight: 214 lbs
Last week's weight: 152.2 lbs
This week's weight: 150.6

Woo-hoo! Getting close to breaking that 150 lb plateau!

This week is going to be a bit of a challenge, as I've got some meals out. It's so hard to eat at a deficit when eating out. Plus I'm busy, which makes the exercise a bit of a challenge as well.

My doctor's appointment got bumped to April 4th, so we'll see what my "official" weigh in is then. I really really want to be below 150 lbs by then.

I will say that I'm really starting to see the loss. I had just bought some pants and they're already getting loose on me. I might have to stop buying yarn and actually spend some money on clothes.

Wednesday Weigh In

2006-03-15T06:30:00.000-05:00

Well, it looks like my body is getting used to the reduced calories and has adjusted. Not much of a loss this week.

Starting weight: 214 lbs
Last week: 152.4 lbs
This Week: 152.2 lbs

I will say that I did have a fat % loss, so that's good. I think I'll be bumping up my workouts a bit this week to see if I can encourage a bit more of a loss. It just doesn't seem to matter what I do, it still all averages about 1 lb a week...

I made my much neglected doctor/mamogram appointment on Monday. I see my regular doctor on Friday and I'll get my boobs smashed on April 7. One of the things I'm going to check with my doctor is my actual starting weight. The 214 lb is the highest I ever remember weighing at home, and not on a real reliable scale.

Well, here's hoping I can finally get below 150 lbs before the end of the month!

Weigh In Wednesday

2006-03-08T07:44:00.000-05:00

An other week gone by. So what's the damage this week?

152.4 lbs

Yeah!!! I'm now at college weight.

The problem this week is that my computer went back for some minor repairs (a missing key and an issue with the battery recharging). So I don't have my FitDay. I could use the online one for the week, but just decided to not track this week as a break. I'm doing the same thing I've been doing, but it's nice not to have to log every single thing I'm eating.

Starting Weight: 214 lbs
Last Week's Weight: 154.4 lbs
This Week's Weight: 152.4 lbs

I think that's one of the largest drops in one week I've had. Part of that drop would be a water weight drop, tho.

So the world's slowest weight loss program continues on... slow and steady!

Weigh In Wednesday

2006-03-01T06:47:00.000-05:00

An other week gone by, and what's the damage?

down an other lb.

Date	Weight
3/1/2006	154.4 lbs

That's almost my lowest weight (on 4/10/05, I weighed in at an even 154 lbs).

I do think that I need to work a bit harder on the weight training. I need to firm up a bit and I think I'm concentrating too much on cardio and not enough on the weights.

As a matter of fact, I think I'll also bump Maya's difficulty up a bit so I can work harder. It's easy to find a comfort zone and I think I'm going to have push myself with the weights a bit more.

Weigh In Wednesday

2006-02-22T07:25:00.000-05:00

Back to the Weigh In Wednesday!

First, a confession. I'm cheating with my diet. I've decided to concentrate on portion control, so I'm doing a "lean cuisine" diet. My biggest problem with tracking my own cooking is how I cook, then trying to figure out what I'm actually eating. So frozen dinners or Boca burgers with specific portions and exact calorie counts for a bit, just to get me jump started with my weight loss again.

I will say that the biggest problem with doing the prepared foods is the sodium. I'm trying to balance that out by drinking even more water.

So since last Thursday (or was it Friday?), I've been eating my normal breakfast, a frozen dinner or Boca burger (which is typical... I sure do love my Boca Burgers!!!) then an afternoon snack, followed by a huge salad and a frozen dinner. Coninuing with the walk/jog treadmill work and Yourself!Fitness on alternate days.

The results? 155.8 lbs.

Dang, it's working (starting weight 157.8 lbs). Calories in vs. Calories out is how to lose weight, and being able to track properly is really the key. So we'll continue this process for a few weeks, then go back to regular cooking again.

Still here!!

2006-02-14T14:41:00.000-05:00

Well, I really want to be more consistant about blogging my weight loss, but I've been distracted by several things...

that includes my workouts and diet.

I'm still plugging along on my current schedule of the walk/jog every other day with Yourself!Fitness on alternate days. I did an hour upper body concentration with Maya yesterday. She decided to take my weights away again, so I just added them myself.

I was able to do a little better than a lap and a half at a jog on Saturday. It's still tough and my legs are feeling it. Today will be an other treadmill day. I'm sticking with the lap and a half thru the rest of this week then I'll push it a little more next week.

The food is still the biggest problem. Partly because of my cooking style (makes tracking it difficult) and partly because I'm basically always hungry. I've bumped the food up a bit, just because I couldn't stand the constant hunger anymore at 1300 calories. If this slows down the weight loss, then it slows it down. At this point I'm focusing on reaching the jogging goal more than the weight loss goal. I think this is a healthier attitude and it's more tangible than weight loss. I don't have any control on how my body loses weight, but I can control the jogging goal.

One day at a time, one goal at a time...

Weigh In Thursday

2006-02-09T20:11:00.000-05:00

Ya, doesn't sound as cool as Weigh In Wednesday, but that's the schedule I'm on right now.

So all that hard work, sacrifice and the occassional off day... the result? A 1/2 lb loss. Not bad actually. That's my normal weight loss average.

However, I still am bumping it up a bit. Still keeping the calories to between 1200-1300 calories, but I'm adding a bit more exercise, especially on the treadmill days. Since I'm working my way up to a full mile at a jog, I'm just not burning enough calories on those days.

So the new schedule is: a hard Yourself!Fitness cardio workout for one hour, then the next day is a weight concentration and the treadmill, then the Y!F the next day and so on and so on.

Well see if that bumps me up to a 1 lb loss a week average.

Oh!!! and I did the upper body workout tonight and she finally incorporated the hand weights (I did tell her the last time that it wasn't hard enough). It's just weird that it's such a huge jump. Going from a 12 repeat without weight exercise to a 15 repeat with weight exercise. Weird.

I'll be sore tomorrow...

Tuesday Update

2006-02-07T13:02:00.000-05:00

Things have been a little uneven over the last few days.

I took Saturday off from a workout, but kept my eating in check.

Sunday I didn't track my food because of the Superbowl. I did make as healthy choices as I could, but I didn't want to obsess about it, so no tracking. I did do a light (but late) workout. 30 minutes tempo on the stationary bike.

Monday I was back to tracking the food (but I forgot I had some of the leftover white bean dip from Sunday while I was making dinner and went over my 1200 calories for the day... only by about 200, so I'm not loosing sleep over it). I didn't workout thanks to a foot injury (bruise on the bottom of my foot that kept me from putting any weight directly on the ball of the foot).

Back on schedule for the most part today. I just got off the treadmill. I did a 1/4 mile warm up at a brisk walk, then a little over 1/4 mile at a jog, then back down to a brisk walk. I didn't get a full mile in, as the injured foot started to spasm a bit (probably from walking on it funny yesterday). I'll probably try to get back on and do an other workout on it, just so I get my miles in. No one said it all had to be at once.

I'm going to try to remember to weigh in tomorrow morning. I'm hoping for a one pound loss.

Friday Update

2006-02-03T18:32:00.000-05:00

I did my walk/jog combo yesterday and was able to do the 1/4 mile at a jog. It was harder than I expected. I guess part of me assumes that once I do it, it'll be easier the next time. Nope, it's gonna take a little more effort and time to get to a "comfort" zone with it.

Today I did my 45 minutes of upper body with Maya. It looks like I'm going to have to add my own weights. For some reason she doesn't want me to use my hand weights. Weird.

I've been tracking my food since Monday. I've let Fitday set up my metabolism and I'm tracking my workouts, too. According to it's numbers, I'm about 800 calories down a day. Let's see if that shows up on the scale on Wednesday. I'm hoping for just one pound.

I will say eating approx 1200 calories is tough. I will admit I'm grumpy and easily irritated right now. It's always hard to do a deficit, especially when we live in a society that has such easy access to crap. However, that doesn't mean I need the crap.

The weekends are always tougher, and with the Super Bowl on Sunday, I'm going to have to be very careful not to over extend my calories and blow all this hard work this week. Must decide on some healthy choices....

Plugging Away...

2006-02-02T09:15:00.000-05:00

So the tracking thing is always fun. Well, it's not really, but completely necessary. It's always fun trying to figure out what I'm eating. I change recipes so much that there isn't a "basic" formula to follow. Oh well, I'm hoping I'm pretty close and the weight will start to come off.

Speaking of weight, I did remember to weigh myself this morning. I weighed in at 157.6 lbs. So I'm up almost 4lbs from this time last year. Not really surprising, since I ate like crap over the holiday and I cut back significantly on my exercise. I'm hoping those come off pretty quickly and I can concentrate on dropping below that 154 lbs. I seem to do this pretty regularly. It always seems to take a bit of a gain to get me motivated to do the next drop.

Yesterday was my upper body concentration with Maya. I did 45 minutes and felt I got a good workout. She did have me use a little more weights this time (mostly with the bicep curls) and my shoulders were sore before I even started. I think that's from the jogging, actually. I must be tightening my shoulders when I jog.

I'll work on fixing that today, as it's treadmill day. I'll try to jog for an entire lap again at 3.5 mph. Should be a little easier... at least I hope!

Jogging... one lap at a time.

2006-02-01T08:57:00.000-05:00

So yesterday was "treadmill" day. I'm currently working on being able to jog a full mile, slowly building up 1/4 of a mile at a time.

I normally walk at about 3.0 mph on the treadmill. I'm short, and I have short gait, walking faster than that is really hard for me. I can do 3.5 mph for a while, but I start to trip over my feet and can't keep up with the treadmill for any length of time. 3.3 is probably as fast of a pace that I can maintain.

I did the first two laps (1/2 mile) at a brisk walk, then I turned it up to 3.5 mph and did an entire lap at a jog. I did it. That's the first time I've been able to do a whole lap at a jog.

I know that they say it's the miles that count, doesn't matter if you walk briskly or jog, but that's not true. I had my heart rate monitor on. The effort to jog a 1/4 mile put me at about 165 bmp, while the same speed at a brisk walk I maxed at about 138 bmp. That's a significant difference.

I'm going to continue to take it slowly and work my way up. I didn't feel over taxed from a cardio standpoint (thanks to Yourself!Fitness, my cardio capacity is much greater) but my legs sure aren't used to running. With my bum knee, I want to slowly increase up to being able to jog a mile.

So today is Maya day. I'll do the upper body workout on Yourself!Fitness. Probably for an hour.

Oh, and I had my regular morning coffee this morning. I'm going to focus on being more physically fit and try to eat within a healthy diet without going nuts. If my coffee is slowing down the weight loss process, I can live with that. I should still be able to lose 1 lb a week with what I'm doing. A cup of good coffee a day is worth it.

Discouraged? Already?

2006-01-31T10:22:00.000-05:00

Well, now that I'm all "focused" again and I'm back to tracking my calories I'm in full depressive funk.

I went to the Mayo clinic weight loss site yesterday (some great and useful information) and according to their stats, I should be eating 1200 calories a day. That's so little food it's not even funny.

Today I was looking at my standard "breakfast" for FitDay (I eat the same thing for breakfast every day) and I realized that I hadn't been logging it right. I had the wrong sizing in for how I take my coffee. After I fixed it, I'm eating a bit over 400 calories for breakfast. For a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal. That's 1/3 of what I get to eat a day.

The coffee is gonna have to go. I know that most healthy eating programs tell you to cut caffine out of your diet and I take my sugar with coffee and cream (that's a shout out to the Beastie Boys). So a sugar substitute? skim milk? or just cut it completely and switch over to tea? (I don't drink my tea with anything...) I would save over 100 calories doing that. Can I do that? Am I serious enough to give up my morning cup of coffee?

I'm not sure I am. I've given up so many things that I truely love and my coffee is the one thing I haven't been willing to sacrifice.

Well, I guess I should head to the grocery store to stock up on some fresh veggies... I need to get more fruit and veggies.

The Weekend Report

2006-01-30T10:00:00.000-05:00

It was one of those weekends... some good things, and some not so good things.

Saturday I made the decision to start adding some jogging/light running to my treadmill workouts. For a couple of reasons. It'll give me a goal to work towards plus I want to be able to be more efficient with my workouts. I'm also seriously considering a 5K this summer (might not "run" it, but it wouldn't hurt to jog to get more endurance).

I'm doing it slowly. My treadmill gives me "laps". Just like a track, 4 laps is one mile. So I start with a warm up lap: a slow walk that I gradually increase until I hit "brisk". I then keep that brisk pace until I hit the 1/2 mile mark. I then crank it up a little and see how much I can job. My goal right now is to try to do an entire lap (1/4 mile). I'll then set a new goal once that's done.

I do need more goals like this, and I need to do it slowly, as every time I've ever tried to add jogging, I've pushed too hard too fast and usually end up hurting myself. I'm trying to keep it to a comfortable pace right now, more concerned about distance than speed. After I can jog for an entire mile, then I'll work on my speed.

As for the not so successful part of my weekend, I ate crap food on Sunday. I went yarn shopping with friends and had a great time. We went for lunch and I made bad decisions, ate too much of my bad decisions and felt like crap the rest of the day. Bloated and uncomfortable. Today I feel like I'm hung over (probably from the high salt content of the food). Argh. So screw the thinking of "get back on a regular workout schedule then worry about the food". I'm going to do that today.

I'm going to do 1500 calories a day. I'll also make sure I'm getting better balance (ie: more fruits and veggies), watch my saturated fat intake and my sodium intake. More water, less diet sodas.

So that's the goals... I know I can do it, just need to stay focused!

Today's goal. I think I'll use Monday, Wednesday and Friday as my Yourself!Fitness workouts. That will cover my weight training, then I'll work on the treadmill on the other days to reach my jogging goals.

So 45 minutes with Maya is the plan.

Friday

2006-01-27T08:13:00.000-05:00

Yesterday's workout went great! I got my 45 minute Y!F workout in. I'm still not sure why she doesn't like me using the weights. I've tried upping the difficulty level, but then she makes it too hard for me to finish. I need something in between.

So what's on schedule for today then? Hmmmm... an other attempt to get three miles on the treadmill, perhaps? Okay, that sounds good. I'm trying to mix up my workouts a bit more.

So far, I'm keeping to at least being active every day this week. Hopefully, I'm getting back in to the swing of things... then I've got to tackle the reduced caloric intake (yuck!)

Food Labels

2006-01-26T11:50:00.000-05:00

I'm usually a meticulous food label reader. I try to track my calories and my fat (I glance at the other info... especially the fiber/protein content, but it's the cals and fat that are my priority). I don't usually buy a new product without first checking to see if it fits with in my calorie budget.

I didn't the other day. I bought some Weight Watchers desserts. They sounded like a fun treat, and hey, it's Weight Watchers so it's got to be low calorie, right.

Nope, not at all. I get it home pop it in my freezer, eat one, then think, oh, I've got to check the label so I can track it. 190 calories. For a so-so dessert. A serving of premium ice cream (1/2 cup of Turkey Hill's peanut butter cup) is 180 calories. What???? Now, there was difference in fat, with the WW desert having about half the fat, but when you come down to taste and preference, there's no reason to waste 190 calories on them.

Lesson learned... just because something is marketed as "healthy", I still MUST read the label.

Okay, now let's talk about my workout yesterday... it was an "eh". I did do a mile on the treadmill, but thanks to "one of those days" I never got back to do the other 2 miles.

Today's workout goal:

45 minutes with Maya upper body concentration

So that's the plan for today...

Today's Goal

2006-01-25T10:49:00.000-05:00

Okay, I was going to bring back Weigh In Wednesday, but I've been bad about remembering to actually weigh myself. I want to keep it to Wednesday (as it just sounds good, no?) and I want to be consistant on what time of the day I weigh myself.

Since I'm trying to add a little accountability to my workouts, here's today's goal.

1 hour on the treadmill (=3 miles). I do not plan on doing this all at once, but rather in 3-20 minute 1 mile walks.

I did a "weight loss" focus with Maya yesterday and it was a good workout. The day before I used the Eye Toy: Kinetics game. I set up a personal workout with nothing but some of the combat moves. My room is too small for it and the background stuff in the room throws it off. Still don't think I would recommend this program to anyone, but I'll still play with it now and then (and I do like the stretching much better than Y!F).

So for now I'm going to work on keeping to a workout schedule, then I'll start the food reduction. For now, I'll keep on my 1800 cal/day schedule, but probably in a week or two, I'm going to drop that down to about 1500.

Try, try, try again... then try some more

2006-01-24T09:57:00.000-05:00

I'm stil looking for my magic bullet and I simply may not find it, but that doesn't ever mean that I'm ever going to throw the towel in and allow myself to go back to the sloth and junk food junkie that I used to be (however, those Baked Cheetos might be too hard to resist).

I'm really going to try to set up some daily goals and accountabity again. The Get Fit Challenge has sort of faded away, but I think we all were successful while we were doing it. It's hard to keep that kind of thing going, so I'm going to try to do it here.

I'm going to try to set up daily goals here and admit if I make them (or not). The whole reason I started blogging my fitness struggles was for accountability. Oh and the "realism" that you don't see the average person dealing with when they decide to change the course of their life.

I really hate those "before and after" things that they use to sell products on TV or even in magazines like Shape. They tell you what they were like before, what was the "trigger" to get them to change lifestyles and what they used to lose the weight and/or become more active. They never mention the tears, the aches, the pains, the setbacks, the challenges, the nasty comments from "helpful" people or those days when you just simply don't want to do it.

That's why I started journaling the process. I had already started the weight loss journey when I started the blog. I had lost maybe 30 lbs or so and I knew that we rarely get "the whole picture". I started 100 lbs overweight and I've lost about 60 lbs of it. It's been tough. Sometimes it's been tougher than others. Sometimes I get super motivated and really focused. I make great food choices, weighing and tracking everything I consume. I track my workouts, I put in a hard effort and I feel great about myself for taking great care of my body.

Then something happens. A plateau? no matter how hard I work or how meticulous my food choices, my weight doesn't budge. I then lose motivation, the workouts are as a high effort (why bother, I don't see them working), I'm not as particular about my food (why can't I just eat what I want. Plus I'm hungry... maybe I'm under eating and that's why the weight isn't coming off). Or I get some kind of injury... pulled groin, twisted knee, back spasms? that throw off my schedule, then I struggle to get back into a regular routine. Or I simply get tired of it being my entire focus and I want to focus on something more fun: like knitting or game playing.

Who knows, but I never completely throw the towel in. I don't suddenly eat bunches of junk food (mainly because I don't buy it... well, except for Baked Cheetos) I still do a minimal workout. It is a lifelstyle change and some of the changes have stuck.

I also think that I need to evaluate my expectations. Now that Matt is at a healthy weight and racing, I've added extra pressure to myself to "catch up" or to justify my weight to him. That's not right. I've got to go at my own pace and lose the weight as my body allows. My body is different than his, and yes, every year it has gotten harder and harder to lose the weight.

My goal of being 125 lbs before my 40th birthday is still a very reasonable goal, but I can't wait until the last year to lose these last 30 lbs. Right now I just want to break that 150 lb plateau before the end of this year. The question is now that I know how much work and sacrifice it takes, can I find the strength to do it?

The Psychological Battle

2006-01-20T14:49:00.000-05:00

I'm struggling quite a bit with my body image and my dedication/commitement to this whole "weight loss" thing.

I'm at the point that nothing I do feels that it's enough. Yet, I can't seem to make the right decisions or work hard enough.

Matt has gotten a full blown case of the chicken pox (yes, at 37 he's finally got them) and he's doing a workout on the trainer with a TrainRight video. There's something really wrong with that.

Or there's something really wrong with me. If I had chicken pox welts all over my body, there is no way in hell I would be doing a workout.

I did a 30 minute "just try the EyeToy: Kenetic combat routines and see what ones I like". It kicked my ass. I'm tired and not a little frustrated. I really don't want to do any more workout today. Matt thinks I should walk on the treadmill while he's working out. He's right, I'm sure, as I know that I need the 60 minutes workout if I want to drop the last 30-40 lbs.

I just don't want to do it. So now I'm still feeling like a failure because I'm not as dedicated as he is. I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself knowing that I'll never embrace workouts like that. It will always be a struggle for me to push myself physically and I'm disappointed in myself.

It seems it's time to look somewhere for some positive re-inforcement. I'm just not sure where that is.

National Body Challenge

2006-01-18T11:11:00.000-05:00

The Discovery Health channel has been doing the Body Challenges for a couple of years. The first one was life changing for me. That's no exageration. After the initial airing, they did an entire weekend marathon of the show and I watched every single episode. I then taped it.

There was something that I really connected with and the people struggling to lose the weight. It showed how hard it was (most don't... it's the before and ta-da the after.. not the emotion or physical struggle that changing into a healthier body is).

They've done several others since that first one and I didn't connect quite the same way... and we won't even discuss the disaster that was "Health Cops". It showed why you can't turn a switch on people and they become healthy. It also made me realize how hard finding a good "trainer/nutritionist" was going to be. I wouldn't have wanted to work with any of the coaches on that show.

So anyway, back to the Body Challenge. This year they're following entire families for 8 or 12 weeks. I really like that they're dealing with whole families (it's gotta be a lifestyle change, which means everyone in the house has to be on board). They're using a "scare" tactic with health issues, which I like (I'll go into that a bit more later...) and they're teaching people how to eat the foods they enjoy, but to make them healthier (one of the things that didn't work with "Health Cops"... you can't feed people food they don't like and expect them to stick with the program). Of course the best thing? They're including the kids...

Anyway, as I said one of the things I really like is the medical check ups they do at the beginning and at the end. We, as a society, need to get past the "vanity" issue of being at a healthy weight. This show focuses on the health risks of being fat. The 33 year old woman who's blood pressure was so high the doctor wanted to put her on medication right then and there. The type II diabetes, the high body fat %... now they didn't do a cholestrol check, as they did in the first one, but it's been mentioned. Now we all want to look good, but we still need to remember that one of the reasons being at a healthy weight is "sexier" is that it's also a sign of "healthier".

Even now, at 157 lbs, I'm at an unhealthy weight. Yes, I've gotten my blood pressure and my cholestrol into acceptable ranges, but I still am putting a lot of strain on my joints and heart by lugging around a good 30-40 lbs. I should weigh between 103 to 127 lbs. 157 lbs puts me in the close to obese catagory and puts me at higher health risks.

The new Body Challenge has also done something I really like. They are bringing in professional chefs to help the families make some of their favorite foods healthier. Especially the more ethnic foods. Food is one of the important aspects of life. We connect to our heritage, our family and our celebrations thru food. You can't feed people a diet that doesn't consider their heritage. However, almost all meals can be made healthier... cutting down fat and kicking up the seasonings.

So thanks to Discovery Health Channel for waking me up all those years ago. I realized how hard I had to work, the food choices I had to make and the fact it's a lifestyle change, not a "diet".

Hard Work

2006-01-12T10:03:00.000-05:00

Well, after the disasterous workout with the Kinetics program, I decided to pop Yourself!Fitness in and do a little cardio with Maya. 30 minutes to be exact.

Wow, it was tough. I got my heart rate over 170 (that's the highest it's ever been) and I was able to keep up, didn't feel like a dunce and she didn't tell me that I wasn't doing well enough (nor did she give me a zero score on a workout that was too difficult for me).

A definite confidence buider, unlike the Kinetics, which completely squashed my self esteem. I don't mind frustrating games, I actually rather like them. In my games, not in my workout. I just don't have the physical capabilities to do something like that.

So I'm sort of torn what to do. There are some aspects of Kinetics that I like, but I don't like the scoring aspect (or the "you're not doing well enough, concentrate" kind of crap that it tells me when I screw up and hit the wrong colored orb). I guess I'll just not bother with the "program" and do indiviual select workouts with it.

Fitness Park

ya... uh... hi.

Those Generic Flu Like Symptoms!

a long over due update

Just got tired of talking about it

The Update

The Current Status

Back to my own cooking

Nutrisystem Review

Saving the triceps for last?

Trying not to get discouraged

Thanks Maya!

We Be Body Movin'

Stupid Knee!

Ya, remember how I said it wasn't about the weight?

Almost 2 Weeks Later

What I've Been Up To

Gotta Keep On Movin'

Hate is a strong word

Haven't quite abandoned the blog yet

Overdrawn!!!

#@$@#$%##

Ya An Other Year... and the struggles continue on

Gym?

Flipping Off Uno's

Running Sucks

Running Sucks

Wednesday Weigh In

The Heart Rate Monitor Weight Loss Program

I'm Back

Sad News

The Daily Struggle

Steady As She Goes

Blogging Blahs

No Numbers... 'cause I know

Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying

Who said they liked weight lifting???

Friday Workout

Wednesday Weigh In

Tuesday...and it's quiet... too quiet

Ahhhh Fall!

*&%$&* Counting Calories!!!

What??? Wednesday Was Yesterday????

Weigh In? What Weigh In?

Very Discouraged

Damn, I Hate It When He's Right...

Yet an other missed weight in

Well, I've Got The Whole "Maintance" Thing Down

Non-Weigh In Wednesday

HRM DOA

Vicariously Fit

Men...

A Day Late...

Wednesday Weigh In

Oh Krap...

Weigh In Wednesday

Yet an other Milestone

The Fat Chick

Obligatory Update

How did that happen?

Fixed!

Comments

Just killing time...

Panic! at the Disco

Breaking thru the pain

Well, that didn't work, did it?

Brace Me

Some and not the other

Almost a Mile, stone!

Ah, a holiday... no biggie, right?

Food Choices

Forest Vs. Trees

Getting back to routine

Oops, Wrong Way

Damage Report

Another Non Weigh In Wednesday

No News Isn't Always Good News, eh?

Wednesday Weigh In

One Step At A Time

Wednesday Weigh In

&%$& Counting Calories!!!