ya... uh... hi.

Wow... it's been a year. Okay, over a year.

I just read my last post. Hmmm... sounds like I gave up on weight loss.

I did.

I paid for it (as half the weight I had lost is back... and in a very short period of time).

I grew increasinly frustrated. I was walking 3 miles a day. Keeping my calories in check. All that I gained was sore feet, low self esteem and total frustration. Yuck.

Then of course I gained the 30 lbs in 3 months. So I'm back to it being my main focus in my life. Which I hate. I don't like that my entire life has to revolve over my physical activity and food. It's a lot of work. It's not fun. It's frustrating.

I am now seeing an endocronologist for my thryoid disease. She's got a much lower goal for my TSH. While I've already learned that this is not going to make losing weight easier, I am hoping that I won't be so sore, achy and tired all the time (and let's hope my frickin' hair stops falling out).

So I'm not sure how much I'll be blogging about it. I do find it theraputic to have to write down how I'm doing on a regular basis. There's a certain level of accountability that I think I need. So... we'll see. (just wish the seats on this wagon had seat belts so I didn't keep falling off!)

Those Generic Flu Like Symptoms!

So the 6 month follow up for my thyroid was productive. My numbers had spiked again (putting me high, even by the old scale). So the doc doubled my dosage. Just like the first time I started taking medication, it took a lot longer than I expected to start seeing any difference.

I'm still seeing some hair loss, but my energy levels aren't as bad as they were. I'm not as achy... oh, and screw the weight loss thing. I've given up trying to lose weight. I simply can't care about it. I'm trying to stay active and eat healthy, but the stress of trying to lose weight, with no results, just frustrates me and I stop completely. Not a good thing. It's more important to just be healthy. I can live being 40 lbs overweight.

While I am feeling better, I'm still dragging a bit. I describe it like I'm just about to come down with a bug. You know that achey tired feeling you get when you run a low grade fever? That's kind of how I've been living my life... and for some time now. To the point that it feels "normal" to me. It does make the workouts a struggle. So I'm guessing we still need to tweak the medication a bit, but it's just a quality issue at this point.

a long over due update

Well, it's been a while again. Frustrated isn't even the word anymore. While Matt and I are still walking on a pretty regular basis (a little over 3 miles 4 times a week), I've cut back on how many days and I'm not tracking my food. When we were walking 3 miles, 6 days a week, and I was eating 1200 calories a day, I simply wasn't losing any weight. I felt worse and simply had to cut back to a more comfortable exercise ratio.

Quite frankly, I'm doing bare minimum for a healthy life style and simply not worrying about the weight loss. I know that I need to drop 30-40 lbs, but I'm so tired of not getting any results, no matter what I do.

I just had my 6 months follow up on my thryoid and waiting for the results. I have to say that over the last month, I've been seeing some of the symptoms return (again a little more hair loss and fatigue). We'll see. I also don't know if my doctor is using the updated scale or the old scale. (the new scale puts me in hypothryoid mode since my 20's). So I'm hoping that there's still some tweaking to be done so that I'll feel a little less tired all the time.

Just got tired of talking about it

Okay, so I took a longer break than I meant to. I simply got tired of constantly talking about what I was doing while not really seeing any results. Gets irritating.

So the first update is that the thyroid disease seems to be under control. I had my follow up blood work, and it seems that my current level of medication is appropriate. Sadly, I didn't "feel" better as quickly as I had hoped. Took almost 3 months before my hair wasn't falling out and my energy levels are now what I think are "normal" (meaning I can do the dishes without exhausting myself).

I will say that between the holidays, the sedatary by product of the fatigue and the medication, my weight kind of "blossomed" at the end of the year. So it was time to concentrate and stop making excuses.

Luckily, we have a new park down the road from us. Matt and I have been walking practically every day and I'm feeling the benefits of it. We started with just one mile and we're up to 3.

Some of the weight came off right away. Just watching my portions, making better food choices and some moderate activity took off 5 lbs. Then it stopped. Again. I lost 5 lbs in January, and absolutely nothing since. Oh the joy! So while my medication might be helping with some of my symptoms, it still seems that weight loss is going to be a serious struggle for me.

So I'm back to working with FitDay so I can make sure I'm not over eating (which is soooo easy to do) and hopefully that will knock a few more pounds off.

So hopefully I'll be a little better about posting here (but I haven't been blogging much on my other blog either. Maybe I'm just tired of my own voice?)

The Update

Thanks Tracey for the reminder... I sort of forgot to give an update, didn't I? This isn't my "main" blog and I like to keep that one focused on knitting.

So yes, the doctor's appointment went well. I like this doctor. I feel he listens to me and doesn't shrug off my concerns. He ran every possible blood test imaginable (or so the lab nurse said as she was drawing blood. She didn't appreciate the work and let me know it).

Anyway, as expected, I have a hypothyroid. I was a walking "symptom" of it, but the problem is that there are a lot of issues that have the same symptoms... including perimenopause.

So now it's a matter of figuring out the right dosage of synthetic thryoid hormones, and from what I can tell, it's kind of a trial and error thing. Starting off with a small dose and increase it until my numbers are in range.

It's been 3 weeks and I'm seeing some improvement, but it's definitely not an overnight cure. My hair loss is much less noticable (when I wash my hair I'm getting maybe half the fallout that I was) and some of the achiness is gone. However, I still get easily fatigued, but that also might just be from being so inactive for such a long period of time.

I am easing back into working out again. I'm trying to do a mile a day on the treadmill and I'm keeping to a very light pace (2.5/mph) and it still wipes me out (but then so does doing laundry). I have to remember that I can't jump back to an hour with Yourself!Fitness, but work my way back towards it.

So hopefully I'll get back to a regular workout routine and back to some weight loss. I'm realistic to not think just being on thyroid medication is going to magically make my extra 30 lbs disappear. I just hope it gives me a little more energy to do some semblance of a workout.

The Current Status

I know I haven't been keeping up on this blog. I simply haven't had the energy to be working out. I thought it was just a phase (a little workout burnout), or that I'm starting to slow down a bit as I get closer to 40.

However, some other issues have come up and I'm off to see the doctor this morning.

I'm not sure which I'm more worried about: him finding something or him not finding something.

Either way, I'm tired of it all, so I hope there is some kind of solution.

Back to my own cooking

So I'm back to having to track my own food again and I'm actually looking forward to it. Taking a month off not having to really worry about what I'm eating was nice, but I actually enjoy cooking. I even enjoy the challenge of tasty healthy cooking.

I'm very lucky as Matt is very open minded about what he eats. Our biggest issue as a couple, eating wise, is volume. Now that Matt has switched from weight loss to being athletic, he simply needs more food. I think he feels very guilty that he gets to eat a lot, while I'm in a strict calorie range.

When my workouts start to burn 1200 calories a pop, I'll get to eat like that too (ha ha... I'm thrilled when I burn 350 calories in a workout!).

Speaking of workouts...I'm thinking that it might be time to upgrade my step bench. When I first started using Yourself!Fitness all those years ago (how long has it been? Well, it came out before Halo 2, that I do know) I didn't think I would want to use a step bench, but after working with Maya for a while, I felt I needed the challenge. However, I wasn't sure that with my bad knee, a step bench was a good idea. So I got a small cheap one. It has only two levels: 2" and 4" and it's not very wide. Now the step workouts are actually my favorite (nothing puts my heartrate up as much as the step workouts). So I'm thinking I might splurge on a better quality, bigger (and quite possibly higher... 6" even?) step bench.

I'm still eagerly anticipating the next gen version (and I'll have to decide which system I'm going to splurge on first... I'm guessing the 360... depends on the release date on the new Ratchet & Clank game. I'm looking a lot more forward to it than Halo 3... then there's that whole cost comparison, etc). Anyway, I'm very interested to see what things are included with the new verion!

Nutrisystem Review

Well, I've got to confess that the Nutrisystem program accomplished what I had hoped: It got me back on track. The weight is slowly (as always) coming off and I'm sticking to my workout.

While I don't think anyone can consider this the best solution (you don't learn how you need to cook and eat for yourself), it's a great jump start. The focus on lots of veggies is great (and since you do have to do that yourself, it's something that translates over to a regular eating plan).

I will say I'm glad I was already on a higher fiber diet. This would've caused a great deal of discomfort if I hadn't already been used to it.

So I'm gonna review what I liked and didn't like about the program.

First, there is no fish (yes, I had two meals with tuna, but both were really bad. The Tuna Noodle Casserole was the one I actually threw away). I am not a vegetarian, but I don't like eating meat for every meal. There are several really good vegetarian meals (and the minestrone soup was an absolute favorite), but I enjoy having fish at least one (or twice) a week.

Some of the food is absolutely deliscious (see minestrone soup above) and some was gagginly awful. I would expect that. However, you can custom order your food selections and so after the first month, it would be easy to pick and choose what suits your taste.

Since the meals are almost all MRE, there can be a texture problem. All the pasta was a little over done for my taste. However, the "add hot water" meals were preferable. While I know that the idea behind this program is that it's a heat and serve, I would've preferred to do a little more cooking (like the pasta) to get a more satisfactory result.

While the program, is very easy for the most part, you are still responsible for some decision making on what you eat. You need to add your own dairy, some protein and your fruits and veggies. Guidelines are provided to help make your choices (and portions). Again, I think these can easily translate to anyone's own meal plan when they are done with Nutrisytem.

So there's a huge convience, which is good. Some of the food was tasty, which is good. The food is proportioned and controlled, which is good. However, some of the food was awful, there's no "education" to help you learn how to eat properly when you are done with the program. It's a high fiber diet, which some might find uncomfortable in the beginning. It's a little on the pricey side.

So overall, I think it was a good idea for me. I had been rebelling again using a "program" like this, as I'm cocky enough to think that I should be able to do it on my own. Well, after 3 years of a plateau, followed by complete frustration, it's what I needed to get myself kick started again. My weight is down, and I'll probably make my 4 lbs loss goal by the end of the month.

I will translate some things from the program to my everyday lifestyle. One of the things I got into the habit of doing is making a huge salad, eating it, then making dinner. I wasn't starving while I was cooking and I found I enjoyed my food more. I'm also going to make sure that I keep to the higher protein and higher fiber. I can also review all the lables from the packaged to see how they break down their caloris/fat/carbs/fiber and protein. I can then use a similar formula for my own cooking.

So while I'm pretty much done with my one month of being on the system, I feel it was worth it for me. If for nothing other than just to get my focus back and get back into the habit of being aware of what/how much I'm eating.

I also wanted to thank blakbyrd797 for the super explaination as to why triceps are the last worked in an upper body workout! Thanks!!! (and for anyone else who wants to know, just check the last entry's comments!!!)

Saving the triceps for last?

I've been back working with Maya for a month or so now, and yikes she makes a difference. While my arms are still one of my many problem areas, there's a huge improvement on their shape. Doing Yourself!Fitness compared to the treadmill simply gives my upper body a better workout.

I've been cycling thru 3 of Y!F workouts: the weight loss (or cardio... there's not much difference. The weight loss is a steadier heart rate zone workout compared to the cardio that takes up to your max, then back down then back up again, etc), the upper body and the flexibility.

I simply don't bother with the core or lower body. All of the workouts includes a core workout in it and I simply don't like the lower body... too many lunges (which I can't do anyway). Yes, all the workouts include some kind of lunge, but I just use a different leg/quad exercise in place of it.

I just finished the upper body workout this morning, and she always saves the triceps as the last weight exercise (before the core that she sneaks in at the end). This seems to be fairly typical of upper body workouts. I know that my previous routines always had the tricep workout last too... yet they are by far the hardest to do, and I'm always fatigued by the time I get to them. I wish I could reverse the order of the workouts with Maya (starting with the triceps and ending with the chess presses). I think I would get a better workout by changing the order occassionally.

Something to research perhaps? Why are triceps saved for last???

Trying not to get discouraged

Well, I've been strictly following (well, almost strictly) the Nutrisystem plan since June 1. I ate lunch out one day and had one or two things "off menu". Which really isn't much.

Haven't seen much impact on any weight loss. I'm working out more again. Back to almost daily workouts and by my math the Nutrisystem plan is about 1200 calories.

There just hasn't been much change on my weight.

Now, I'm the first to admit that I'm extremely impatient, and it's kinda hard to know what I actually weight (it can flucuate 3-4 lbs on a daily bases... which is why I don't like to weight myself very often). I was hoping to be below 160 lbs by the end of the month, but that's not going to happen (that would've been a 4 lb weight loss over the month- a realistic goal).

I think one of the reasons I didn't see the "big drop" with the weight is that I wasn't far off of a 1200/calorie a day diet (and I don't care what they say... this being "low carb" makes no difference. Yes, I'm eating a lot more veggies which is much healthier, but I don't think this low carb diet is really better for weight loss. I still put that on the calorie in vs. calorie out... and I think I'm proof of that).

Again, I think I'm back to the "low hanging fruit" options being already gone. The high calorie snacks, the portion control has already been changed... and that's how I lost the first 60 lbs. Smarter choices, portions control and adding physical activity to my diet. Now that they are part of my lifestyle, I don't have the easy changes to make... and the rate of lose is much much slower.

I think this plan was a great idea for me (and some of the food was awful... I did throw out one meal) but some of it has actually been very good... and things I would add to my regular meal plan. It also emphasises, that no matter what I do, I can not lose weight any faster than a half pound a week.

I just wish I could remember that it DOES come off... and that this lifestyle is all worth it in the long run.