So Freaking Frustrated!

So I'm now on day 3 of the Yourself!Fitness regimine. Yikes, I'm sore, tired and frustrated! I'm amazed at how many moves I simply can't do. (today was a core strength workout... I don't have enough upper body strength to do some of the moves: like planks!). I got tired very quickly and couldn't finish a lot of the repeats.

I guess it does go to show that no matter how much working out I've been doing, I'm still not nearly where I need to be. Yeah, it's great that I've lost over 50lbs, but there's still a lot of room for improvement.

I think the hardest part out of all this is that it's basically changing a personality trait. Like suddenly trying to be "perky" when you are reseved. You may be able to pull it off for a while, but eventually you naturally go back to your basic personality. I'm a sedatary person who hates to work out. No matter how long I've tried to make it a part of my life, it's still a struggle every single time I get on the treadmill. That's why it's taking me over 5 years to lose 50lbs. The advice of "finding something you love and you'll stick with it" is bullshit. I love to sit and knit or play video games. I don't like to sweat, I don't like being sore, I don't like coughing up phlem when I work out. So no matter what the actual activity is, I still won't enjoy it due to my dislike of the process.

It's probably a good idea that this weight loss is going so slow, as it does make it a lot more routine based than if I was able to lose it in one year. I just have this little fear in the back of my head that my cholestrol will drop, I'll get down to a healthy weight and I'll relax again and I'll be back to all those nice comfortable habits again....