Monday, May 29, 2006

Almost a Mile, stone!

As I've mentioned, I'm trying to add jogging to my workout routine. With not a lot of enthusiasm. Bad knees and big boobs are not conductive to running. However, I'm slowly trying to increase my distance each time, with my short term goal of running 1 mile.

I'm getting there. Today I was just shy of 3/4 of a mile. I started to feel my knee "weaken" so I stopped and walked the rest of the way. The cardio endurance is definitely there, but my body isn't real fond of it.

Matt was given some great advise on Thursday by one of the strongest bike riders in our area. He and Matt were out on a break and Matt was doing everything he could to stay on his wheel, when it was Matt's turn to take his turn on the front, he couldn't do it "and sat up"... meaning he didn't take his turn. Well the chase group saw it, and it motivated them to work harder to catch the break. "Pain is temporary, everyone is in pain, but you've got to work thru it. If you had just worked thru that pain, the break would've worked, as we had broken the chase group. You can relax on your couch tonight".

There's a lot of useful information in that. First, this guy thinks Matt's strong enough to stay with him. He has the physical skills to be that level of a rider, but he still needs to learn how to push himself past that "safety point"- that point where your body tells you that it really isn't enjoying itself and would appreciate it if you would stop right now. You need to ignore that voice...

I thought about that the entire time I was jogging. This is only a short momement in time. It's temporary. I can sit later, but right now I need to work thru this and push myself past that 1/2 mile mark.

I'm one of those people that as soon as I feel discomfort, I want to stop. Some days I do. Matt can move past that point... he can work to the point where he feels like he's going to throw up. Then there's this group of people that don't have "safety switch" who continue to work even if they feel like throwing up, or see dots before their eyes... they continue to push their bodies so they can throw their bike over the line.

Ya, that's not me... but I can live with the temporary pain of pushing my body past where it wants me to take it. It'll thank me later...

Ah, a holiday... no biggie, right?

Actually holidays aren't nearly as challenging for me as for some. We keep the holiday meals pretty casual as it's just me, Matt and his brother. We're all aware of keeping to a healthy diet (and my BIL is a vegetarian) so I don't have to worry about being tempted by the usual "shiney salads" that are served at most picnics. I have to say that I like having the control of being the hostess.

We'll do low fat hot dogs and Boca burgers on the grill, I'll make a non shiney pasta salad (meaning that it will be full of veggies and no mayo) and I have the watermelon all sliced and ready to go.

I still think the biggest challenge for a day like this is fitting in the workout. Monday is Matt's usual day off and today will be no different (mine's usually Saturday, as I've found that's the day that I have the most problem fitting it in). So I'll have to spend some time this morning for my workout. I need to get a lot of things done today since I'll be gone the rest of the week, plus we have our picnic late this afternoon... and I MUST finish the first sleeve on the Rose Leaf Pullover (heehee).

An other reason I want to get my workout in early is so I can pack up my Xbox to take with me (gee, it's times like this that I wish I had a Gamecube... oh wait, I can't get Y!F for the Gamecube... so forget about it). I'll also pack a game or two to take with me... the problem is that I'm gaming more on the PS2 right now and not sure what to take for the Xbox.

Well, off to pack, cook, workout and knit (not necessarily in that order).

For those in the US: have a safe and happy Memorial Day!

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Food Choices

I worked with Maya on Friday. We decided that I needed an hour upper body workout. She must've felt bad about skipping those $*&$*#&^ lunges the day before, so we did globs of them (I still haven't figured out her obsession with lunges. Even on the upper body workout days). Yikes! It was a great workout and I must admit I'm enjoying getting back to my daily workouts.

However, I'm off to stay with a friend who is recovering from surgery for a few days. I should be able stick with my workouts (a little jogging with her dog should help). I'm also going to lug my Xbox with me so I can take Maya with me. I'm so glad she's portable (heehee). I'm going to really try to stay on schedule while I'm away.

Matt and I just got back from the grocery store and I was looking at our food choices spread out on the conveyer belt. Apart from the lite hot dogs, there wasn't any meat products (tho' I swear I should buy stock in Boca). It amazes me how much we've changed our eating habits over the years. Well, I'm not counting the vodka sauce that Matt put in the cart. I won't touch it (180 calories/10 grams of fat for 1/2 cup seriving). He can afford that kind of splurge, especially after his Tuesday or Thursday night training rides.

It was mostly perishables (fruits/veggies/non fat dairy/bread) with some basic stables (like the Boca). I just think back to when we first started this journey and what our cart used to look like. I even was looking at all the crap on the shelves and thinking about how much really horrible foods are so easy to get... easier to get than the healthy stuff actually. It's no wonder that so many people struggle with making the right choice. We're so inidated with the crap.

I know it's a catch-22. Bike manufacturer's run into this. They get complaints about all the pink girl bikes, so they make other colors for the girl's bikes. The problem is that it's the pink ones that sell. So they make more pink bikes. People bitch about the lack of healthy choices at McDonald's, so McDonald's tried to put some less crappy things on their menus, but they don't sell. So we're inidated with crappy convient food at the grocery store... as that's what we want. Rather we want to admit it or not (or is it just shifting blame? a lack of responsibility?).

It's funny, but even as I was glancing at all the crap (and annoyed with the fat free salad dressing choices... where was my fat free honey mustard dressing???) I realized that it's gotten so easy to skip out on those crappy choices. I'm not sure if it's because we found the healthy foods that we like or if we've just changed our tastes so much that we no longer feel the need to eat the junk. Either way, it just shows that given enough time, enough effort and being open minded, you can change your eating habits to where the new habits are ingrained.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Forest Vs. Trees

I originally started this in response to Debbi's (go wish her a happy birthday!) comments from yesterday, but realized how long it was getting (heehee), and I think it sums up my attitude about my weight loss/fitness journey.

Sometimes life does intervene. Injuries do happen (trust me, I know), schedules prevent the time necessary for a solid workout. I spend a total of 4 minutes a day brushing my teeth (2 in the morning and 2 in the evening). It might be a habit, but committing to an hour or more of exercise is a lot different than spending 4 minutes a day brushing my teeth. Especially when it's not something I want to do. So yes, while the goal is to make it a habit, you have to accept that sometimes it just doesn't happen. The key is to never allow it to be the excuse for not starting again the next day.

The key to long term success is balance. To accept that there are bad days, but to get up the next and go forward. There's a reason that most people fail in their weight loss goals. They set up these "all or nothing" mentalities. They're gung ho in the beginning, then they'll miss one day, then two, then a week, etc. Next thing is they're not even trying anymore. You can't do that. You have to accept that there will be periods in your life that things won't go according to schedule, then not allow it be the reason why it comes to a complete stop.

I know that my weight loss has been slow, but the fact that I'm still even trying this long is unusual. I see it all the time. People get motivated, then their enthusism wanes and they slow down. My goals haven't changed, nor will they. I haven't given up in the 7 years that I've been on this journey, nor do I plan to.

I might need to take the mental break here and there. Just like a vacation from a job, but that doesn't mean that I ever will have the luxery of not working out or eating healthy.

I guess I'm more interested in the forest rather than the trees. I don't beat myself up over one unhealthy meal or a missed workout (or 6). I'm more interested in my overal success. And the fact is that I've lost 60 lbs. It may have taken me 7 years to do that, but the fact that while most women my age are gaining weight, I'm down to the weight I was in college.

So I've found my key to be balance and forgiveness. I can't change the past, only the future. I refuse to feel guilty for missed workouts or a bad food choice. What's done is done, but I never allow it to be the reason I stop working towards my goal.

On Workout Content: I worked with Maya yesterday. Not one single lunge. Mark your calander, as I believe that was a first. I did the "weight loss" concentration for 30 minutes. I always forget how much of a better workout I get with Yourself!Fitness. My shoulders and arms are sore today... not something I get when I jog on the treadmill.

I've sort of stopped keeping up with the Y!F forums, but I did see on the Gamefaq site that there is a new Y!F in the works. Let's hope so. I really prefer using it more than any other workout I've tried, but I need it "refreshed". I'm also wondering if I should buy the PS2 version, since I'm playing more PS2 than the Xbox -oh, and the rumor I've heard is the new Y!F is going to be for next gen. Hmmm, think I can justify the $600 for a PS3 as a workout tool... I mean a good time trial bike runs over $3000, so think of the savings!!)

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Getting back to routine

One of the ways I need to get myself back on routine is to make myself more accountable. That's why I started blogging this whole fitness thing in the first place (and to help people who also struggle see that those "before" and "after" forget that whole "during" part). So I'm going to try to blog more than once a week (hmmm, I think I've said that before)

Thanks so much Debbi for the encouragement. You said the same thing I've said many times. My problem is that I've now been doing this for over 7 years and it does get old. Seven years of continual food obsession, fighting myself over my workouts for a whopping 60 lbs weight loss. I guess it's just like being in debt. Sometimes you just want to stop worrying about it so much.

I go thru cycles with my focus on fitness. I get myself into a nice comfortable routine where I'm working out daily, I see results and I feel good (maybe tired and sore, but in a good way... most of the time). Then something happens: vacation, or injury, or a busy schedule and I'm thrown off my routine. I then have serious problems getting back into that routine. I think it's because I really hate working out. I haven't found my "magic bullet".

Matt and I talk about it a lot. He likes to say that it's just as hard for him to workout. He doesn't always want to workout. He get sore and tired, etc too. The difference is that he's passionate about his cycling. He might struggle to get on the bike, but once he's on it, the passion kicks in and he ends up enjoying the time on the bike. He actually struggles with recovery, often over training. He feels the same way about cycling as I do about knitting. Even if he's not on the bike, he's thinking about it. Planning his next ride. Evaluating his training schedule. He's found his "magic bullet".

I simply haven't found a workout activity that I'm that passionate about. Even when I force myself to do a workout, I never enjoy it. I'm constantly looking at how much time I have left. How much farther do I have to go. I just don't enjoy it. Any part of it. I've tried different things and none of them are my "magic bullet".

It comes down to basic personality. I'm a sedatary person. Trying to change that, force that change is hard... just like someone who is shy trying to be outgoing and social. I can fake it for a while, but given an opportunity, my basic personality will override my attempt to be more physical.

So right now I'm purely concentrating on getting back to routine. I'm not going to worry about how many calories I'm burning or even if I'm losing weight. I just need to get back to a daily routine. (slowly... I've learned that lesson the hard way... many time! Too fast and I hurt myself).

I rode the stationary bike yesterday for 10 miles. My goals right now are to do something everyday for about a half hour then work myself back to the hour+ workouts. I've got to incorporate my weight training back into my schedule too. I see a big difference since I'm not doing them consistantly (my weight my be about the same, but I'm much "flabbier").

Let me also say that I love getting comments. It keeps me motivated to know that other people are out there struggling along and care about how I'm doing.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Oops, Wrong Way

Well, the Weigh In Wednesday was as expected: not good. I'm back to 153 lbs. That's gotta change. I'm simply not working out enough right now.

I'm at that "tired of the process" point right now. I know how much work this is and I'm resenting the time that I need to work out, as there are other things I want to be doing. I simply can not bring myself to put in the effort right now.

I also realized how much soda I'm drinking again. I like to limit how much diet soda I drink. For several reasons. Drinking soda cuts into my water consumption, and I need to be drinking more water. I also don't want all that sodium. So I'm concentrating on just one soda a day again. I also think that the fake sugar triggers my appetite.

I've also got to start using Fitday again. I really hate the amount of work tracking my food is, but I have to do it. If I don't know what I'm eating, and I'm barely working out, the weight creeps back on (obviously).

It gets a little frustrating: I know what I have to do, I know that I can even do it, but sometimes that knowledge is not a good thing. It takes a lot of work and sacrifice and sometimes that's overwhelming. Quite frankly, I want my life back instead of this constant concern over everything I eat and how much I'm working out.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Damage Report

AKA: Weigh In Wednesday

Actually, considering that I haven't been working out regularly (or much at all) and I've gotten very lazy with the food choices. I'm actually quite pleased with my weigh in.

152.4 lbs

Yes, that's up 2.5 lbs, but hardly surprising, considering. Let's also hope that it's the wake up call I need to get my butt in gear again.

I did my jogging on the treadmill yesterday and got the 1/2 mile at a jog and walked the other half. I really want to get on a regular schedule with it. Three times a week jogging then the rest of the workouts with Maya and some weights.

Okay, back on track I go...

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Another Non Weigh In Wednesday

Uh-Oh, I didn't weigh in again this morning. It's been weeks since I've weighed myself... and that's not good.

I so constantly do this to myself, you would think I would learn by now.

I do these mini goals (which is a good thing)

I then hit these mini goals (which is a very good thing)

Then I stop working so hard (not such a good thing... it's actually a very bad thing)

I'm always aware of what I'm eating, and I try to keep it with in range, but I'm not tracking it. I'm not working out (a really really bad thing) so I know I'm back over 150 lbs.

It gets frustrating. I know what I'm supposed to do, I even know I can do it, but it is just sooooo hard sometimes. I can even see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I can't get myself motivated to work out or track my food.

Maybe a little break is good once in a while, but I really don't want to keep doing this 2 steps forward, one step back thing, which is what I've been doing over the last 10 years or so.

I will make my goal weight! I just need to stay focused.