Thank You!

Thanks to those who left me comments about my progress so far. It took a lot of courage to post the pictures, but I felt it was good for me. To see how far I've come and how far I have to go.

I will say that this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It's easy to beat yourself up and say "how did I let this happen to me", but I now know I let it happen and I'm taking every possible step to keep it from happening again.

I've been sharing my story on the Yourself!Fitness forum, so I've been reviewing in my head a lot of what I've been doing over the last 6 years. This is definitely a journey and a long trecherious one at that. There are always obsticles in the way. With unintentional (and some intentional) sabatagers in the way.

I think the intentional sabatogers aren't so much not wanting to see me succeed, but rather don't want me to be more sucessful than them. When you start to make changes in your life and make a concerted effort to be healthy, there are some that are uncomfortable with it. I think there's a concern that you are judging them, or they try to justify to themselves that they don't need to be healthy. I'm not sure, but I will say that it can change personal relationships.

One of the things I've made a concerted effort is not to offer my old clothes to anyone. I used to get this: 'gee, I've lost weight, maybe you can wear the clothes that are too big for me now'. That's a complete slap in the face (whether it was meant to be or not). I got heavy due to my low self esteem and depression and those kinds of comments only made me feel worse.

Luckily, I'm married to someone who is very supportive. He's never critisized my weight, but he's been very encouraging to me during the process. He doesn't complain about the meal plan (having lost 70 lbs himself, he understand the importance of a healthy diet). He's put up with my tears, my pissy moods when the weight wasn't coming off fast enough. He's even rubbed down sore muscles. They say that you should do it for yourself, and that's partly true, but frankly it's for him. I made a commitement to him to spend my life with him. I want as much of both of our lives together. I also don't want to be older and unable to do things with him because I've allowed myself to have poor health.

Today's Positive Comment:
Today's a comment from Matt. He mentioned that it was a good thing that I was losing weight at such a slow pace, as I'm not getting the "skin flap" issue. Since it's been slow, my skin has time to react to the loss.