Today's Post

ya, I know, pretty lame title, but I'm running out of clever ideas.

So, here we are again trying to lose weight, but not 100% focused, so there's no sucess. It gets old. Really old.

I'm feeling a lot better about myself, and that will help, but I'm still not at that point of "extra" that I need to do: both with the workouts and with the food choices.

Matt and I spend a lot of time talking about this (our eating/exercise has become a major focus in our lives) and it's funny, but I am more self consious of my weight now than I was when I was at my heaviest... I think it's for a couple of reasons.

I think that I simply didn't care when I was 214 lbs (which is how I got to 214 lbs), then with some changes and some exercise the weight started coming off. Slowly, but I saw progress when I put in the effort. I don't get that anymore. My progress is non existant, no matter how hard I work. I feel like I lead a healthy lifestyle (I'm not militant: I do have "treats" and I do half ass some of my workouts) but my body looks like I'm an unhealthy slug. Yes, I'm smaller and I know that I'm not as heavy... but I don't look "healthy". I still have very heavy arms and legs, I don't have any muscle definition and I'm still 30 lbs over weight.

I know that I'm probably trying too hard right now, that maybe I should just take the rest of this year and maintain this weight, then push again. That's what I've done every year for the least 6 years... do it in steps. I'm just ready to be 130. Allow my body and metabolism get used to being 155 lbs, then once it's used to it, shock it with a diet change and exercise surge. Or maybe I'm just feeling lazy and I'm trying to avoid doing the extra workouts....