Challenges

I know that my postings have been a lot more sporatic lately and part of that is guilt that I'm not doing much. I'm still getting a workout here and there, but it may only be 20 minutes, low effort and there's a part of me that feels very guilty about that.

Back when I started using Yourself!Fitness over a year ago, I was so excited. Well, okay, not at first. At first I struggled to get thru the workouts. I couldn't keep up, even on a low difficulty. I didn't understand the steps. I spent a lot of time crying in frustration and even embarrassment. However, I stuck it out, I felt stronger, I understood the steps and I saw a significant improvement. I had a wonderful sense of accomplishment each day as the steps clicked and the workouts became stronger.

It was such a great improvement that I think I set myself up for unrealistic goals. I thought that if I stuck with the program and pushed myself harder I would continue to see results and I would look great, feel great and be super healthy.

Well, none of those things really happened. I stopped losing weight. Hey, that happens. You don't do this for 8 years without realizing that weight comes off in stages. I figured I just needed to push myself a little harder. That didn't work. Not only didn't the weight come off, but I tweeked my knee. Yes, I did get healthier. Those pounds I did shed are always good and I was able to drop my blood pressure and my cholesterol into the healthy range (with room for improvement). However, I'm still a good 30 lbs overweight. I still have a lot of wobbley bits.

I must admit, I sorta gave up. I was tired of the process. I still try to keep the eating in check, I still try to get some kind of physical activity, but even that slowly started being less and less... and then I was hardly doing anything.

I've lost site of a goal. My health goals have been met (and yes, I need to continue with the lifestyle to keep those goals). I caught on to Maya's workout, but I couldn't increase the intesity without causing injury, so I couldn't push myself to any more goals with her. She became boring when I realized that I had maxed out to my ability.

Now I'm starting to slide backwords. I dream of an active and healthy lifestyle, but I just don't have the discipline to implement it for any length of time. Which is why I've been doing this for 8 years. I get motivated, work hard, lose weight, get bored, slowly allow bad habits to creep back until I hit an other point where I must do something. sigh.

So as we turn to the new year and knowing the gyms will be full of people with good intensions I ask myself how can I do more than just do this in these little spurts, but make them a part of my life from more the 8 or 9 months at a time?