The Psychological Battle

I'm struggling quite a bit with my body image and my dedication/commitement to this whole "weight loss" thing.

I'm at the point that nothing I do feels that it's enough. Yet, I can't seem to make the right decisions or work hard enough.

Matt has gotten a full blown case of the chicken pox (yes, at 37 he's finally got them) and he's doing a workout on the trainer with a TrainRight video. There's something really wrong with that.

Or there's something really wrong with me. If I had chicken pox welts all over my body, there is no way in hell I would be doing a workout.

I did a 30 minute "just try the EyeToy: Kenetic combat routines and see what ones I like". It kicked my ass. I'm tired and not a little frustrated. I really don't want to do any more workout today. Matt thinks I should walk on the treadmill while he's working out. He's right, I'm sure, as I know that I need the 60 minutes workout if I want to drop the last 30-40 lbs.

I just don't want to do it. So now I'm still feeling like a failure because I'm not as dedicated as he is. I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself knowing that I'll never embrace workouts like that. It will always be a struggle for me to push myself physically and I'm disappointed in myself.

It seems it's time to look somewhere for some positive re-inforcement. I'm just not sure where that is.