Try, try, try again... then try some more

I'm stil looking for my magic bullet and I simply may not find it, but that doesn't ever mean that I'm ever going to throw the towel in and allow myself to go back to the sloth and junk food junkie that I used to be (however, those Baked Cheetos might be too hard to resist).

I'm really going to try to set up some daily goals and accountabity again. The Get Fit Challenge has sort of faded away, but I think we all were successful while we were doing it. It's hard to keep that kind of thing going, so I'm going to try to do it here.

I'm going to try to set up daily goals here and admit if I make them (or not). The whole reason I started blogging my fitness struggles was for accountability. Oh and the "realism" that you don't see the average person dealing with when they decide to change the course of their life.

I really hate those "before and after" things that they use to sell products on TV or even in magazines like Shape. They tell you what they were like before, what was the "trigger" to get them to change lifestyles and what they used to lose the weight and/or become more active. They never mention the tears, the aches, the pains, the setbacks, the challenges, the nasty comments from "helpful" people or those days when you just simply don't want to do it.

That's why I started journaling the process. I had already started the weight loss journey when I started the blog. I had lost maybe 30 lbs or so and I knew that we rarely get "the whole picture". I started 100 lbs overweight and I've lost about 60 lbs of it. It's been tough. Sometimes it's been tougher than others. Sometimes I get super motivated and really focused. I make great food choices, weighing and tracking everything I consume. I track my workouts, I put in a hard effort and I feel great about myself for taking great care of my body.

Then something happens. A plateau? no matter how hard I work or how meticulous my food choices, my weight doesn't budge. I then lose motivation, the workouts are as a high effort (why bother, I don't see them working), I'm not as particular about my food (why can't I just eat what I want. Plus I'm hungry... maybe I'm under eating and that's why the weight isn't coming off). Or I get some kind of injury... pulled groin, twisted knee, back spasms? that throw off my schedule, then I struggle to get back into a regular routine. Or I simply get tired of it being my entire focus and I want to focus on something more fun: like knitting or game playing.

Who knows, but I never completely throw the towel in. I don't suddenly eat bunches of junk food (mainly because I don't buy it... well, except for Baked Cheetos) I still do a minimal workout. It is a lifelstyle change and some of the changes have stuck.

I also think that I need to evaluate my expectations. Now that Matt is at a healthy weight and racing, I've added extra pressure to myself to "catch up" or to justify my weight to him. That's not right. I've got to go at my own pace and lose the weight as my body allows. My body is different than his, and yes, every year it has gotten harder and harder to lose the weight.

My goal of being 125 lbs before my 40th birthday is still a very reasonable goal, but I can't wait until the last year to lose these last 30 lbs. Right now I just want to break that 150 lb plateau before the end of this year. The question is now that I know how much work and sacrifice it takes, can I find the strength to do it?