Haven't quite abandoned the blog yet

Tho' I must admit I'm feeling very discouraged right now.

And not just about my weight.

I have not had a lot of success in my life. I feel the more effort I put into something, the more disappointed I am when I fail. The weight loss has hit that point.

I've been spending more time and effort on my general appearance. Things like make up, haircuts, non sweatpants types of things. In fact, this has completely backfired on me. I actually feel worse about my physical appearance because of it.

I guess before I was putting in the effort, I could convince myself that was all I needed to do. Now that I've done it, and I don't look any better, I realize that the effort has no impact.

Just like the weight loss. Sure, I can gain weight. No problem. However, the more effort I put into it, the less successful I am with with losing weight.

So hard work doesn't always achieve good results. Something I learned a long time ago about a lot of things.

I'm not sure what my next step is. All I know is that I'm so disappointed, and it's a vicious cycle. I simply can't get motivated to do anything more, yet it's probably the only way to have any kind of result.