Positive Attitude

I was looking at some of my titles for my blog and I realize that I've got a pretty negative attitude. I know that's part of my basic personality, but I also think that I'm still holding a lot of resentment about me having to take such responsibility towards my health. I see it like paying taxes. Something that has to be done, but something I really don't want to do.

How do I get a positive attitude? It's really hard for me. I'm actually more sore and tired now than I was when I was over 200lbs. I also think that my "appearance" isn't important enough for me to use as a motivation factor. I know that seems odd, and I look at the pictures from 2002 and I know that I'm glad that I don't look that way anymore. I guess I just don't care enough to use it as motivation.

I have to remind myself of my health. This isn't about vanity or appearance, but being active as I get older. I work hard now, so Matt and I can do those things later that we talk about (no, I don't want to bike to the top of Alpe d'Huez... I'll leave that to Matt, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be able to go places and see things).

So I use the weight loss as a barameter of how I'm getting healhtier. I'm hoping it works, but quite frankly, I'm much more concerned about my cholesterol and blood pressure numbers than my pounds lost. I just can't check those as often as I can my weight.

So saying that, I can officially say I've lost 50lbs over the last 2 years. I'm still a long way to my healthy weight goal, but the knowledge that I can acheive that kind of weight loss is something I can remind myself as I struggle with the workouts. (I'm finding boredom sets in about halfway thru my workout and I need some kind of motivating focus to keep going instead of saying: "hey, 1.5 miles on the treadmill is really good, you don't need anymore than that...wouldn't you rather be knitting than sweating???").

So I'm looking for motivation. Or distraction. Or a stronger work ethic.