Why is this so freakin' hard?

One of the most frustrating things for me is the exercise constistantly. I go thru phases where I'm doing a good solid workout everyday. Then all of a sudden, the motivation stops.

Logically, I know that the key to a healthy life is exercise. I'm always very happy with myself when I do a workout, but I just can't bring myself to do more than the bare minimum right now.

It's so hard to be consistant. Even when it becomes a habit (which it did), I had some minor phyiscal ailments that made working out uncomfortable, so I started putting off the workout, and I'm still not back to into the groove.

I write down my commitments, I see myself in the mirror, I try to motivate myself, but nothing is working. I put on my workout clothes, put Maya in the Xbox, and just go thru the motions for a bit, then cut her short.

I'm so incredibly frustratrated with myself. I just don't know what to do to push myself to lose the next bunch of weight (btw: my weight is consistant. I'm still around 154 lbs... so at least I haven't gotten to the point of gaining weight).

Sometimes I think I'm the only person that this is hard. Part of me cheers myself for sticking with a healthy lifestyle, but also wonder why I'm trying so hard for such minimal results. I look in the mirror and still see a very fat woman. I know I've built a lot of muscle and that I've lowered my cholestrol to a healthy range, but I don't look healthy.

Okay, I guess I need to do a positive comment for today. This is a hard day to think of something positive about my health and fitness program. So how 'bout I mention that the sun is shining brightly. Summer is coming and the grass is green.