The Power of Words

You know the saying "sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me". It's something we're all told when we get bullied in grade school.

This couldn't be farther from the truth. Yes, it's important to try to distance yourself from the hurtness of words. However, words in fact are very powerful things.

There are words that were said to me some time ago that were very hurtful and are still a motivating factor in my weight loss. I know that sometimes words are used by people to make themselves feel better about themselves... and maybe the intent wasn't so much to hurt me, but to boost their own sense of self. It doesn't really matter, as the words hurt me.

Words are a way we communicate, tell people how we feel about them. Make judgements. Careless use of words can be very hurtful indeed. We've all done it. Something slips out before you even realize what you're saying. However, there are a lot of people who love to use words as a weapon... a sharp dagger to make your own sense of self plumment while raising their's.

Just as words can be hurful, they also can be wonderful. Giving someone a compliment can change a whole day around for that person.

I spent a week listening to other people communicate and it made me evaluate what kind of words I use. Do I do the basics, like "please" and "thank you". Simple words of gratitude. Yes, I do. I thank my waiter for filling my water glass. I tell my grocery clerk to have a nice day. I thank Matt for taking out the garbage. I try tell someone when they are wearing an outfit that looks really nice on them.

I have a tendancy of using hurtful words to myself. I tell myself that I'm a slug. Or I'm too fat. Or I'm not pretty. Or I'm not a nice person. I would say that I'm my own worse critic (but, in fact I'm not). Positive reinforcement is important. From everyone, including, and probably most importantly, myself.

I also have a tendancy of down playing the compliment when it's given to me. I'll point out the flaws. If I made a sweater, I'll down play all the work I put in it or I'll only focus on the mistakes. If I get a compliment about my weight loss, I usually say, "oh, but I still have 30 lbs to go". In a way, I'm telling myself that I don't deserve praise. I'm trying harder to just say "thank you" when someone gives me a compliement.

So part of my fitness workout is also working out my self image. I'm not talking about the weight here. I'm the same person whether I'm wearing a 214 lb body or a 154 lb body. It's no different than wearing a red shirt or a blue shirt. Once may "look" nicer, but it's the exact same person inside.

I'm beginning to think this healthier lifestyle isn't really about the weight after all...