Back on Track

Well, it seems that motivation has returned and I'm getting back into the daily routine of a workout.

I think I just needed a break from constantly focusing on my weight and exercise. Talking to some online friends and complete strangers at a charity dinner has sparked me again to make an other push.

I think hearing other people struggle helps. It sometimes feels like I'm the only person in the world that has to deal with this, but there are other people out there that are dealing with the daily struggle of fitting in a workout, making the right food choices and trying to balance it all out in their day to day life (it's just not the people I see at the grocery store...).

So a 45 minutes Cardio workout with Maya today (and I'm definitely feeling the non workouts for the last couple of months... my arms are killing me).

I still think scare tactics work best with me. Either thru health (that whole cholesterol thing really worked) or how I physically look. I remember the silk skirt I made for a cruise that didn't fit... back when I had 48" hips. I also just went and looked at the pre workout photos. It's always a wake up call. If I don't take care of myself, I'll look like that again.

So here I am, in the biggest glutony season and it's all the more reason I need to keep the exercise habit going. If I want all the fun and fabulous foods (with in reason, of course) I need to work off the extra calories.

So I'll keep an eye on how much I'm eating, keeping to a balance diet while watching the portion controls and making sure I stay active. Basically, that's how I live my life...

Motivation, or the Lack Thereof

So no posting is a good indication that I'm still just not motivated. I am working on it.

I've had a couple of conversations lately with people about weight loss, exercise and diet. This always helps me think about what I'm doing (or more specifically, not doing).

I know what needs to be done, but staying motivated is really really hard for me. I do not have a great attention span. I get bored easily and when I'm interested in doing something, that's all I want to do.

Lately that's been the Sly Cooper series and my knitting. The workouts have suffered. Suffered big time. Like I'm not doing any at all. I think in the last 4 weeks I've workout with Maya once and I did 20 minutes on the treadmill. Yep, that's it.

I've been asking myself what I need to do to motivate myself. Basically, I just need to do it. No excuses! So I got up, put my workout clothes on and did a 45 minute workout with Maya. I'll be paying for it tomorrow (it was upper body and my triceps are killing me now... can't imagine what they'll be like tomorrow).

The problem that I have is that once I stop working out, it's hard for me to get back on schedule. I had some severe pain in my knee a while ago and thought it would be a good idea to take a little break. Well, it's become a long break and I just can't get myself back to my daily workouts.

However, I still want to lose 5lbs before the end of the year. That's 5lbs in 4 weeks. I know I can do it, but I need to stay motivated, work harder and pay attention to what (and how much) I'm eating.

So no more excuses. If Matt can work on taking 3 minutes of his time trial time, then I can lose 5 lbs!

Drawbacks Of Weight Loss That Nobody Tells You

So today is my wedding anniversary. Which means that Matt and I will enjoy a romantice dinner out (which for me means someone else gets to do the dishes.. woo-hoo)

Back when we went on our Alaskan cruise, I bought the perfect black skirt (on sale, I might add). It was longish (hit me between the calf and ankle) and in a nice knit. Had a great drape. The thing that made it perfect? Well, the top I wore with it made it dressy or casual. I could wear it with a twin set for a stylish casual dinner or with a dressy top and heels for a dressy outfit. It was comfortable, packed well and was flattering on.

Sadly, it no longer fits me. I've lost 25 lbs since I bought it. While losing the weight is fabulous, I'm mourning the loss of a perfect skirt. I know that that kind of clothing is rare to find and I will forever try to find an other and I know I ever will (as that always happens when you find the perfect piece of clothing).

So here I am with my limited wardrobe. Having lost 60 lbs with an other 30 to go, I only bought what I've needed as I've lost weight. Now I have the dilemma of what to wear tonight. We will be going to a nice resturant, so I don't want to wear too casual clothes, but I'm at a loss what I have in my closet that will fit and be the right level of "dress".

So a moment of silance for the loss of a perfect black skirt. We will miss you, but the sacrafice is necessary in the process of the goal.

Frustrating!!!

So I do think taking a month "off" was an excellent idea. I only worked out a couple of days a week and I watched what I ate, but wasn't militant (hmmmm, cookies at Stitch n Bitch and the extremely dangerous baked Cheetos and let's not forget the really yummy chocolate covered pretzel ice cream from Turkey Hill. That stuff should be illegal).

Part of me knew that taking time off and cutting down significantly on my exercise would be detrimental and that I was risking a weight gain.

So I knew it was time to get on the scale again. It can actually be very motivating for me to see a gain, so I was prepared for a 3-4 pound weight gain.

However, that's not what it was... so guess what kind of weight gain I had. I mean I barely worked out the last month, and when I did workout, it was for maybe only 30 minutes or so. My eating habits, while close to my "usual" eating habits, did have a lot more junk than usual.

That's right, I weighed in at 155 lbs. That's actually right around where I normally am (I've been flucuating between 154 to 155 lbs since January). All the hard work I put in this year for no loss and then I relax and there's really no difference?

It's actually very frustrating. You're told that if you work hard and eat right the weight will come off. I worked hard and I ate right and I didn't lose weight in 9 months. I decided that I needed a mental break from worrying so much about it, prepared myself for a set back and it didn't come. Argh.

Now while not gaining a lot of weight is a positive, it's very frustrating to me. What the hell do I need to do to lose weight? I'm thinking the break might have been it.

Well, I think the break was necessary. I think my body just lets go of weight in small increments and needs to get used to maintaining a weight before it starts allowing me to burn off more. Maybe this little break will help me kick up my metabolism again. Shock it back into a weight loss cycle again.

I'm also going to focus on a lot more variety this time. While I still think I get the best workout with Maya, I don't think she's good to use every day. The fact that she does the same weight training exercises EVERY day is actually not good. The squat/lunge combo in every single workout isn't good. She needs to take a break from strength training exercises. While I think it's great that she offers a complete workout, she really should only be used every other day to allow the muscles to recover from her weight training exercises. So that's what I'm going to do. Maya will be done on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Alternate days will be a treadmill or stationary bike workout with no weights at all. If I decide to do an aerobic workout, I'll use Maya, but only the cardio segment (I'll shut her down when she gets to the weights). I'm also going to be sure to take one day off a week.

Yesterday's workout: 45 minutes (well, actually 50 minutes as Maya thinks when you select 45 minutes you actually really want a 50 minutes workout) of the upper body workout with Yourself!Fitness

Today's workout: 2 miles on the treadmill at a brisk pace (for my short legs, that's about 3.0 mph), level surface.

Time Out, Time In

I decided that I needed a break from my weight loss goals. It's been such a major focus on my life in so many ways (including this blog) that I was getting burned out.

I will say that I spent the last month "relaxing". Less effort and time was put into the whole weight loss process. I didn't workout every day (and I'm still not, but I'm going to start concentrating on that again) and I wasn't as focused on my calories in vs. calories out.

I do recognize that my eating habits have changed. Even with a relaxed attitude, I still keep an eye on what and how much I'm eating. So yes, the eating hasn't been meticulous, but I still think we eat a very balance, healthy diet with the occassional junk.

The difference is that to lose weight I need to be solely focued on it. It gets old. There's a big difference in lifestyle between maintaining and losing weight. It's about the deficit. Being sore, being hungry, spending the time and effort. It's hard. It's really really hard. And it gets frustrating, as I swear the harder I work, the less results I see.

I know that's not the case, as it's my expectations that are raised when I work harder. I think, work harder=see more results. Quite frankly, that's not the way it works.

So here we are heading into the holiday season and I'm trying to get myself back into the "weight loss mind frame" again. Not easy, but it can be done. I did it last year. My total weight loss for 2005 has been about 1 or 2 lbs (and I may have gained that back with the relaxed attitude for the last month. It sure doesn't take much to put it on, yet it's soooo hard to take it off).

So back to the daily goals. It seems to work with my knitting, let's see if I can do it with my weight loss.

Today's goal: light day. (I'm having some dental work done today, so I'm going to keep the workout light). Let's say 2 miles on the treadmill.