Food and Exercise

Well, duh, that's what I'm doing here, right? Trying to think out loud my food and exercise program. So not a very original title.

It's a bit like my workout/food right now. Not very original. But, hey, I'm working. I'm working hard.

I've bumped up my workouts again, keeping my Fitday log and I'm feeling it. I'm sore (I've even been doing lunges! Yikes!). I still don't think I'll ever get used to being sore. It's not always this bad, but there's almost always a little soreness somewhere. It's a sign that I'm working hard, but I'm hoping that translates into some more weight loss...

So Weigh In Wednesdays will be back this week. I've been avoiding the scale, which is never a good thing. Matt is not thrilled with Weigh In Wednesdays, as he knows that it usually puts me in a bad mood. I'm always disappointed in myself. I want the weight to come off and come off quickly. It doesn't. I don't think I've ever lost more than 2lbs in one week in my life. I expect the scale to be up a little this week... hopefully it'll be good motivation to keep on plan.

One of the reasons I started blogging was for thinking out loud my struggles. I'm not sure if this encourages or discourages others. Or even if anyone even reads this, but I have found it helpful to keep a journal to see where I get discouraged or to be able to pat myself on the back. Most people are not happy for other's weight loss/healthier lifestyles. I get more discouraging remarks (subtle put downs) than encouragement for the most part. However, the people who have been encouraging to me have meant the world to me.

It's hard to ignore the little subtle put downs (even if they are meant to lift the self esteem of the person putting me down, they're still put downs to me). Part of it is recognizing the source and to maybe avoid the negative influences as much as you can. However, it always comes back to being responsible for myself and being comfortable with my decisions and the knowledge that this lifestyle is healthier for me. It's worth a little soreness.

Exercise is Like Drawing

Well, at least for me. When I was an art student, I used to have this issue when I was drawing. I would start a picture and fall in love with a way a section was turning out. Instead of looking at the whole picture, I would just keep working the area that I loved.

I do the same thing with my workouts. I'm still focusing on my upper body. I did an hour upper body workout with Maya today. It was a gruelling workout. I think part of the reason I like her upper body workout so much is that it's actually a full body workout. She has me do a lot of lunges/squats with some upper body moves (like shoulder presses). She also always ends with a core program (someone really needs to tell her that if I can't do straight leg planks, there's no way in hell I can do one leg planks). So between a good 20+ minutes of cardio, then all those squat/lunge combos, back, shoulders, bicep and tricep exercises, I also get some nice planks (plus all those chest presses/flys on the ball will work my abs too). All in all the hour workout burned almost 400 calories. Maybe that's why I like the upper body workout so much.

It also may have to do with the missing fat pad on my back. That was one of the triggers for me to start losing weight. I was getting a fat/hump between my shoulders. It was making my posture worse (I do not have good postures). It's completely gone. I also have better posture.

However, I still have so much to go. My upper arms are still heavy. The muscles are there. I've been surprised at how much muscle I've been able to develop, but I still have too much fat on my body. I'm working on it, tho. I'm back to a 1500-1600 calories a day diet. My current goal is to break the 150lb mark.

Lunge This

I hate lunges. I hate them with a passion. If I do too many of them, they become dangerous, as I can't keep proper form. I know they're good for me, so I continue to do as many as I can.

Maya, however, loves lunges. She can give me 30 plus minutes of lunges in one workout. Even if I'm doing an upper body concentration. Okay, I maybe exagerating a bit. But just a bit. The other day I did a 45 minute upper body concentration. Not including the double lunges during the cardio (which don't really count, as they're not really lunges... they're hard, but not the same) I did a solid 12 sets of 8 lunges. I tried to increase/decrease difficulty, but she had it in her head that I needed lunges. That's almost 100 lunges in one workout. A workout that I was to concentrate on my upper body.

I will add that I did do a lower body workout one day for 45 minutes. After the 15 minute cardio section at the beginning, the rest of the workout was nothing but lunges. Lunges on the step. Lunges with weights. Lunges with a pulse. Reverse lunges. Squat/lunge combos. Directional lunges. For 30 minutes. It's simply too much.

However, I do what I can, then try to do something else. I will also do a stationary lunge and not do any movement (it's the movement that puts strain on my knee). I figure holding the position will still strengthn the muscles.

I will say that I do need a little more work on the lower body strength training. I'm not fond of doing it, so I don't do as long or as hard as I do when it's upper body day. That's gotta change. Even if I don't do it with Maya, I could do it on my own (all those great exercises I did post knee surgery would make a nice workout... and that's what I was doing before I started using Yourself!Fitness).

So a 3o minute workout with Maya this morning. However, I need to boost the weight loss (Matt says we can go to Simon Pearce once I break the 150 lb mark), so I'll probably ride the stationary bike this afternoon for 10 miles or so.

7 months and counting

I've been working out very regularly with Maya now for 7 months. I've lost a little over 10 lbs working with her. I've gained a lot of muscle. Considering how often I work with Yourself!Fitness, I'm amazed at how far I've come and how much I still can't do.

I was doing my workout yesterday. While I was doing the T-Step, I remember how difficult it was to learn the moves of the workout. Now I just automatically can switch between it and the other step workouts without even missing a beat.

There are still steps I just don't get. The Out Out In. I just do a Step Touch with that. I still can't do many jumping jacks (they hurt my feet... again, I'm sure it has to do with my 154 lb body on my little size 5-1/2 shoe foot). I don't even want to discuss my pushups skills. I think I've improved from being able to do 5 to 10. In 7 months. Yes, that's a 50% improvement. Some days I can even do a few extra (maybe not with great form) but more often then not, 10 is my max.

Matt and I spent some time yesterday talking about focus, commitement, and routines. It was very helpful to verbalize my struggles and have someone listen and offer support. This isn't easy. To keep focus long enough to lose this much weight is a definite challenge. It's easy to get discouraged and to get tired of the process.

All in all, I think Yourself!Fitness has been a saving grace for me. Yes, it has become a little monotonous (I unlocked everything by the end of October), but it's still the most interesting workout I've done to date. I do hope that there will be a sequel and they get a little more creative with it. Maya lives in a virtual reality. How cool would it be to unlock really cool, exotic locations? I think a Mars landscape, or a prehistoric setting with dinosaurs or Mayan ruins would all be fun. I know that this product is being targeted to non gaming females, but us gaming females would love more unlockables. Maybe even after completing so many workouts you get a little mini game (a trivia nutrition quiz?). So much possibilities. I just hope that there will be more (*cough* and soon) as I really do like using my Xbox for workouts and I think it's mostly balanced workout (less lunges would be nice, tho')

Today's Positive Comment:
Matt finished 13th out 51 riders for the Turkey Hill Country Classic cat 5 bike race. Even tho' he lost his keys on the ride (and therefore was distracted during the race!)

Why is this so freakin' hard?

One of the most frustrating things for me is the exercise constistantly. I go thru phases where I'm doing a good solid workout everyday. Then all of a sudden, the motivation stops.

Logically, I know that the key to a healthy life is exercise. I'm always very happy with myself when I do a workout, but I just can't bring myself to do more than the bare minimum right now.

It's so hard to be consistant. Even when it becomes a habit (which it did), I had some minor phyiscal ailments that made working out uncomfortable, so I started putting off the workout, and I'm still not back to into the groove.

I write down my commitments, I see myself in the mirror, I try to motivate myself, but nothing is working. I put on my workout clothes, put Maya in the Xbox, and just go thru the motions for a bit, then cut her short.

I'm so incredibly frustratrated with myself. I just don't know what to do to push myself to lose the next bunch of weight (btw: my weight is consistant. I'm still around 154 lbs... so at least I haven't gotten to the point of gaining weight).

Sometimes I think I'm the only person that this is hard. Part of me cheers myself for sticking with a healthy lifestyle, but also wonder why I'm trying so hard for such minimal results. I look in the mirror and still see a very fat woman. I know I've built a lot of muscle and that I've lowered my cholestrol to a healthy range, but I don't look healthy.

Okay, I guess I need to do a positive comment for today. This is a hard day to think of something positive about my health and fitness program. So how 'bout I mention that the sun is shining brightly. Summer is coming and the grass is green.

Frustration

Well, as I said, I was going to go back to Maya's suggestions on the Yourself!Fitness program. No more over riding what she wants me to do and do what I want to do.

I did a 30 minute core focus today. I was as frustrated as I was in the beginning. I can't do soooo many of the exercises: anything that requires to hold myself up, for example. She had me do all sorts of planks. I can't hold up my body that long. Even if I decrease the difficulty, she expects too much from me. However, I did what I could. I ended poses early, or I did a plank instead of the one legged planke (oh, and how am I not supposed to feel it in my shoulders? Maya needs bigger boobs so she understands what it's like to hold up an extra 5lbs on her chest on some of these...)

Anyway, I do feel like it's a good idea to get back into her schedule. I need to push myself... reach for some new goals. Not just a dress size or weight on the scale, but being able to do one legged planks.

I still need to add a little extra cardio to my workouts. I think I'll keep with the 30 minute of Maya focus, then add an extra half hour of an other cardio (like I did back in the beginning). Treadmill, bike or Maya for some more cardio should really help me get back on a weight loss track again

Today's Positive Comment:
I pushed myself to focus on a workout that I'm not overly fond of doing.

Focus

I've been in and out of focus the last week on my workouts. It's an easy pattern to fall into. I've really got to focus again and get back into a regular workout routine again.

One of the things I've noticed today is that I still concentrate on what I want to do, not always what I "should" do. When I first started working with Yourself!Fitness, I was very good and followed the daily focus. I really think it pushed me harder in the beginning. I had been doing weights, but I had a tendancy of only doing the excercises I wanted to do, and avoiding the ones I didn't.

Well I'm back to only concentrating on what I want to work on. For some reason I really enjoy doing upper body weight lifting. I'm sure part of it is that it doesn't strain my knee, but I also feel that I get the best results from it. It's the area on my body that I've seen the most improvement. (especially in the shoulders).

I also think part of me knows that I can physically do the upper body exercises. Maya doesn't throw any thing at me that I can't do. It may be hard and sometimes I really struggle to finish a set (and some I may not be able to finish), but it's not like the core, lower or even the flexibility workouts. I still have a lot of things that I simply can't physically do. Some I know I'll never be able to do, and I find that very discouraging. Yes, I know that pushing myself at doing the really hard stuff is how I'll improve, but I find it so frustrating.

Okay, in re-evalutation: there are some upper body workouts that I can't do, specifically pushups.

So I need to focus, get into a regular routine again (and more often). As I say: Half Assed Makes for Larger Asses.

Today's Positive Comment:
I completed workout # 171 with Maya today.

One Day Older, A Little More Shorter Of Breath?

Well, I'm now officially 36 years old. (If 35 wasn't a milestone, I guess 36 isn't either). All in all I had a great weekend. I did skip a workout on my birthday. Oh well, I had a good workout on Saturday. I also was back on track on Monday.

We went to The Sly Fox Brewery for lunch on Saturday. I did a beer sampler. They make such nice beer. Even their Helles was excellent for a lager. However, it's their dark beers that really shine. One of the best stouts I've ever had. Their brown ale is one of my all time favs. They had a couple of seasonal beers, including an alt and a weisse that I really enjoyed as well. It was all yummy. I love different beers, but it's one of the things I've really cut back on. Basically I've had maybe 3 or 4 beers so far this year. So having a sampler of a bunch of beers was lovely.

So I've had my splurge: beer, onion rings, pulled pork sandwich and birthday cake. Today the remainder of the birthday cake was removed from the house and taken with Matt to work. Goodbye yummy birthday cake. I enjoyed you, but I'm sure you'll make others very happy too.

So Maya worked my butt off today. We decided to do a 45 minute workout with an upper body concentration. She gave me a nice little warm up and cardio (total about 15 minutes worth) followed by 30 of the hardest weight workouts she's had me do to date. 3 sets of tricep dips? she must be kidding. I simply can't do tricep dips, so I went over to my Smith machine and did tricep pulldowns. Still was really tough, but it doesn't bother my hands or wrists (like dips do).

I'm hoping that some of these "body weight" exercises will get easier as I lose more weight. I still really struggle with pushups (again, it's my hands that hurt... 154lbs is a lot of weight on them). I used to have a similar problem when I first started working out when I was much heavier. I used to try to walk, but lugging around an extra 80 lbs put a lot of weight on my size 5.5 feet. That's the main reason we got the stationary bike. It was a good way to start. I now can walk without the foot pain, so I'm hoping that eventually I'll be able to do dips and pushups.

Today's Positive Comment:
I had a very happy birthday. I look forward to spending the next year taking care of myself and be even healthier by the age of 37.

The Magic Formula

One of the things that I've learned over all these years of struggling with my weight (and with the whole weight loss process) is that most people don't really want to hear "the magic formula". Even if they ask you how you lost your weight, they really don't want to hear it was thru eating a healthy diet and exercising (a lot of exercising).

The formula is easy, implementing it, not so much. Quite frankly, the only magic formula to lose weight is to burn more calories than you consume. For me to make this work, that means food logs and lots of extra exercise. It's hard work, it's a lot of sacrifice and it takes a lot of honesty.

I think it's the honesty that most people don't want to deal with. Food logs only work if you track every single thing you eat. Whether it's the taste of pasta while preparing dinner, or just a little of what ever the kids left on their plate before you do dishes, or a piece of hard candy. It's the serving and a half compared to just one serving. Those things do add up. They add up a lot more than most people realize.

If I cheat on my food logs, the only person I cheat is myself. My weight loss may be slow, but it has been steady. I haven't stopped eating carbs or meat or really anything. I've cut down on certain foods (a moment of silence for the beloved grilled cheese sandwiches which are no longer a daily staple for me), but that doesn't mean I won't eat those foods on occassion.

My birthday is Sunday. I am going to splurge. I will have birthday cake. The food log will be put away for the day (maybe even the weekend, as I think Matt and I will go out for lunch on Saturday and I'll probably have a beer and some ribs). Will I beat myself up for this weekend of decadence. Nope, but that also means that come Monday, the food log will come back out.

I'll also add that the workouts will not be stopped. Just as I plan on brushing my teeth over the weekend (twice a day, thank you very much), I will keep to my workout regimine.

I guess my point on today's entry is that there is no magic formula, but a life style that must be adopted for sucess. Even tho' I'm still 20-30 lbs from my goal, I do feel that I've adopted, and even to some extent embraced a healthier lifestyle. Making healthy choices most of the time makes the times I do splurge more fun!

Today's Positive Comment:
At age 36 I weigh 60 lbs less than I did when I was 30.

Suffering

Matt and I talk a lot about how to deal with suffering thru workouts. Everyone has different levels of what they can stand. He always talks about the professional cyclists ability to suffer. To be able to continue biking up mountains, in rain, in the cold, in the heat, in the wind after you've passed your anerobic threshold is beyond his comprehension.

I look at him and can't comprehend his ability to suffer. He bikes everyday in almost every type of weather condition (only thing that will keep him in is extreme cold or rain). I've never seen him not ride due to heat... he'll ride in tempertures above 100.

So we all have our levels at what we can suffer thru. I've learned that my tolerance has increased. I know can workout with tiny aches and pains. With menstral cramps. When I just don't feel like it. (I don't have weather as an excuses, as I actually don't really like to work out outside).

However, after watching a documentary on the Endurance, Matt and I decided we have no concept of what suffering is really about. (you can read more about Shackleton's successful failure here).

Next time I'm hungry or tired or just feel sorry for myself, I'll think about the men who survived some extreme circumstances.

Today's Positive Comment:
I'm warm and not hungry. I live in comfort.