Weigh In? What Weigh In?

Well I didn't weigh in this week. Again. Ya, ya I know. That's dangerous. That's how weight creeps back on. That's how laziness begins.

I'm going with my friend Theresa to a local gym for a tour on Saturday. This gym doesn't offer any classes, but does offer complimentary personal trainers. It has a pool, lots of weight lifting and cardio equipment. It's also very inexpensive (especially considering the pool thing). Maybe working with a trainer a couple of times a week would get me focused and on a regular plan. I'm just not good at sticking to a routine. Even with Yourself!Fitness, I change up Maya's suggestions (I have a rebellion personality) and choose what I like to do rather than the balance that I need. So maybe a set workout with the accountibility of a trainer is what I need to break my plateau.

I don't want to go to a gym everyday, but maybe a 3 times a week workout would be good for me. They'll have a much better weight training set up than I have. I love our Smith machine, but I have to remove all the drying (and usually stinky) bike clothes off of it to use it. We have limited space for weight lifting, and the treadmill and recumbant bike take up half the room. During the off season, Matt will have his trainer set up and that eats up a lot of space too. So it feels tight, it's hard to do any floor exercises and it takes a lot of rearranging everytime I do weights in there.

So I'm optimistic about going to the gym. I already have a couple of friends that use this gym and I might even get Matt to go with me (I love doing weights with him. We make a good weight lifting team).

Very Discouraged

I spent today dealing with my abdormally large bust line. Let me tell ya gals, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

I have to mail order by bras.

The bras in my size are ugly.

I went and tried shirts on today. For them to fit me in the bust, they look sloppy everywhere else. If I buy them to fit everywhere else, the buttons gap at my bust.

I then tried to adjust a sewing pattern to fit me. This "should" be the ideal solution, but even the patterns really don't like that much adjustment. It's going to take a lot more tweaking than I expected.

I have this unrealistic goal of something in my life being easy to fit. I wear a hard to find shoe size (5.5W... sometimes I can wear a 6W, depending on the style and designer). I have a sway back, so for pants to fit my butt, they gap at the waist. A lot. Like over three inches. I have a narrow back and shoulders with large (and heavy) boobs. I'm short.

I realize that sizing is based on "average", but there are days that I would kill to just be able to go out and buy something pretty and for it to fit.

As much as I would hope that losing weight would help this, the fact is that my boobs were less of an issue when I was heavier. I guess it's expected that size 22 women have large breasts while size 12 women don't? My weight loss has been in equal proportions. I've dropped from a size 38 bra down to a size 34, but the cup has remained the same (meaning that I still have over 7" difference between my band measurement and my full bust measurement).

If I weren't such a weenie, today's the kind of day that I start to think that a boob-bob wouldn't be such a bad idea...

Damn, I Hate It When He's Right...

I woke up today with a stiff neck (pinched a nerve). It's humid out. I'm tired and irritable (see the stiff neck/humidity thing, plus Matt worked from home today. 'nuff said).

I was going to blow off my workout. Just didn't feel like doing it. I knew that Yourself!Fitness was out of the question and I was just soooo sluggish.

Let's not forget that my mantra for working out is that "something is better than nothing". I also try to do that "something" everyday... even if it's just a light workout. Ya, sometimes nothing is good...

As Matt was leaving for his bike ride he said "just get on the treadmill for a bit. You'll feel better". Uh hu. Ya Right.

Then I remebered the coconut cream pie I had last night (hey it was a small piece) and realized that "something IS better than nothing". I was going to keep a slow steady pace and just do 15-20 minutes. I ended up cranking it up to my normal pace and doing my regular workout. I did better.

damn, he was right. I feel better physically and there's no guilt for skipping my workout.

Yet an other missed weight in

A good indication that I'm not focused on weight loss: I keep forgetting to weigh in on Wednesdays! When I'm focused and really concentrating, I can't wait to weigh in to see how I've done.

Well, I didn't weigh in this morning... Matt and I (and surprisingly the dogs) slept in late... put the whole morning off routine.

I did have a really great workout yesterday. I mentioned briefly yesterday about the new sneakers and the treadmill. Well, I feel great that I was able to get the treadmill speed up to 4.0 mph. That's the fastest I've been able to run. I wasn't able to maintain it for any length of time, but at least I see an improvement. The faster I can run, the faster I can workout, right?

I also spent some time doing some lower body weight lifting. I must admit that I don't like doing the Yourself!Fitness lower body workouts. It's all lunges. That's no exaggeration. Lunges, followed by lunges followed by a few sets of lunges. So I just skip over the lower body choices (replace it with either the weight loss or cardio concentration). I love her upper body workout and do it several times a week. However, my lower body needs some weight training too. So yesterday I moved all Matt's bike stuff off the weight bench and got to work.

Having a bad knee means I have to think a little differently about my weight lifting. The surgery made my knee stronger (it hasn't had a serious dislocation since I had the surgery), but some problems still remain. My knee cap isn't smooth thanks to a bone fragment being dislodged when I first dislocated it back at the age of 13 (and the real reason I had surgery at 16... to get rid of the floating bone chip). This means my knee grinds when I bend it. The other issue with it is I've learned to favor my other leg. Not delibrately, but I know I favor that leg. So I've had to adjust to working my leg extensions and curls doing only one leg at a time. I am feeling it today. Both legs are more sore than they've been in a long time.

So I'm still trudging along on maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I feel good and I'm in a happy place right now. The weight will eventually come off, just like the first 60+. All I need is to get that motivation to do that extra work.

Well, I've Got The Whole "Maintance" Thing Down

I'm supposed to weigh in tomorrow (and hopefully I will remember to do it), but I don't expect any changes.

I can't get myself psyched up to do that additional work to lose weight. I know how much I can eat compared to how much I workout to maintain my current weight (and this is a good thing), but pushing myself to do the extra workouts, or cut back a bit on the food just isn't going well right now.

Part of me celebrates the almost daily workouts, the awareness of what I'm eating, but an other part of me keeps reminding me that I'm not done yet... that I still want to lose an other 30 lbs.

I will say that every 10 lbs it has become just a little harder. The first 10 came off with out really trying. Simple changes (uh, like full sugared sodas) were easy in the beginning, but each step I've had to make more cuts, add more exercise and I'm wondering if I have the fortitude to make more sacrifices. Wanting to be 30 lbs lighter is nice, but doing is hard.

So I trudge along hoping that the routine won't be enough for me, that I'll get inspired to push myself that little harder.

Hmmm, maybe the new sneakers I just bought will help (well, I did jog a little faster on the treadmill today in them).

Non-Weigh In Wednesday

I completely forgot to weigh in this morning. Probably didn't miss much. As I said, I did minimal workouts for the last week.

However, a passing comment about body image in a completely unrelated conversation with Lauren, made me stop and think about mine. This made me scroll thru some of my previous blog entries over the last couple of years.

Seeing some of the old photos of me is always a bit of a shock. Listening to myself and my own self esteem issues is also an eye opener.

My self confidence has improved sooo much over the last year or so. I know there are many factors to this. It's also a bit of the "chicken and the egg" thing. Is my self confidence better because I've lost weight and made some great friends, or have I lost weight and made friends because I've gained self confidence?

The low self esteem still rears it's ugly head now and then, but thanks to people around me who treat me with respect, it never lasts long.

So this is a shout out to all my friends and loved ones that have given me the positive support that has helped me reach the success that I've achieved to date. It's a long road and while it can be very lonely, having cheerleaders is a big help!!!

HRM DOA

If you've been reading this blog for a while you know my basic philosophy with weight loss: calories in vs. calories out. I plan my calories like money and base my food and exercise like a budget.

However, my best tool for this (next to FitDay) is my heart rate monitor. It tracks my calories burned during my workouts. It knows how tall I am and how much I weigh. It also knows my heart rate. It really gives me the closest accurate count I can get. Sadly the batteries have died.

So for the time being, I'll use Maya's count on calories burned and Fitday's average for when I use the treadmill. I just won't know if I'm in the right cardio zone.

Last week was tough on me physically, so I did my minimal requirements for workouts, but starting this week I'm going back to the 2-a-days. I'm going to mix up Yourself!Fitness with the treadmill or the stationary bike. I might even ask Matt to set up his time trial bike on the trainer for me to try. Unlike his road bike, the trainer should actually fit me (you can't buy a smaller framed time trial bike than what he rides. Ahhhh it's so cute). I would like to get comfortable riding a regular bike so that he and I can ride together, but I want to make sure it's something I'm comfortable doing before we throw a lot of money into a bike for me.

The problem is that I haven't been on a real bike in years. I don't mean like 10 years, but closer to 25 years. It's not something I ever did a lot of as a child. I want to ride the trainer for a bit to see if I can get comfortable then maybe we'll go shopping for a bike for me.

Vicariously Fit

This past weekend was the last big hurrah of the cycling season here. Matt probably will do one more race. If you read my knitting blog you'll know that Matt was very disappointed in his Tour de Christiana results. A bad crash, poor timing on the time trial and no points were gained to move up to a Cat 3 rider.

However, it was a lot of fun. I always ask the guys, as they sit around and bitch about how they did (man, these guys love to sit around and bitch about how they did in the races) if they had fun. Bryan, who also crashed on Saturday (pretty badly) but still had a great time trial (his specialty) on Sunday, cocked his head to the side, and thought about it for a few seconds and declared, yes, it was a great racing weekend. He had a lot of fun.

I guess that's the part a lot of people don't get about racing. They see the wins/trophey's/medels and high results. It's not about that at all. It's about the fun. The seeing how hard they can push themselves, even after a set back (like missing your starting time at the time trial). To evaluate, to talk about what you can improve, congradulating each other for the hard work. It's about the commradery of the sport. The individual effort, but still with a team mentality.

Matt lucked into a great group of guys. Most bikers do a "buddy system" style of training. You find someone with about the same skills/endurance/personality to train with. Cycling partners is very common. Matt and Jim are cycling buddies. However, Matt's whole team is very tight knit... to the point that an other rider at the race commented on it. It's hard for amatuers to have a decent sized team that close. It's hard to get together at the same time to train. So while cycling partners are common, a close knit team is very rare at this level. I know it's one of the reasons they have fun.

So I spent yesterday watching them blow themselves up (twice... time trial in the morning then a crit in the afternoon). I was beat by the time I got home. Makes me think about how tired I was just from cheering (yes, my throat hurts today) and I didn't even race.

I do envy them. In a good way. I really wish I had that drive, that kind of enjoyment, the physical ability to do something like that. I guess all I can do is what I'm capable of doing, but that doesn't mean that I can't appreciate what they do. Or how incredibly sexy Matt's legs are...

Men...

see, one day late and I end up doing a second post in one day.

This one is a rant.

If you've been reading this fitness blog for a while you'll know that Matt and I happily gained weight together during the dating years. After we were married a few years, we both realized that the weight thing was out of control and we were looking at some life time health issues if we didn't take action.

Matt in his usual obsessive/over achieving ways has since lost 75 lbs, discovered the "joys" of cycling and has completely embraced the whole healthy life style thing.

However, some things don't change. He's off tonight to train for a time trial this weekend (actually it's a stage race that includes a time trial) and he put on his singlet (I call it the "off the rack onesy") and he actually asked me "do I look fat in this outfit?"


ya, life's just not fair...

A Day Late...

I simply forgot to post yesterday. I knew I wasn't going to weigh myself this week, and so I forgot that it was Weigh In Wednesday.

Today's blog will be "girl" related. If you're uncomfortable hearing my talk about that sort of thing, then you might want to skip today's blog.

I simply couldn't deal with the weigh in this week. I knew it was going to be up (thanks to that whole girl thing) and I didn't want to throw myself into a depression over a slight (if temporary) weight gain. I'll weigh in next week.

One of the myths I've heard over the years is that exercise and proper diet can help ease menstral cramps. Quite frankly, it's a bunch of BS. My monthly discomfort has gotten so much worse since I've been exercising regularly, that I wonder if it's worth it. Now, granted, I can't guarentee that they are connected. It just might be coincidence. I can guarentee that it hasn't helped.

I'm guessing that it's more likely that I'm getting older and/or that I no longer use a hormone based birth control (after 17 years of being on either birth control pills or Norplant). I'm not sure that it's birth control (or lack thereof) related, as these symptoms started while I was still on the pill.

Other things have also been noticable: night sweats, drastic changes in body temperture, irregular periods and spotting between. So I'm guessing that my body is starting the process of menopause. Let's just hope it doesn't go on for the next 15 years!

So I don't expect much change in weight over the next week, but I'll try to keep on schedule with my workouts and as always keep the eating thing in check.

Wednesday Weigh In

Oh joy!

Today's Weigh In:

weight: 154.5 lbs
fat %: 38%

So that's down one pound. Ya, that's nice, but I never lose sleep or get excited over 1 lb in either direction.

However, it always does feel better to see it down rather than up, and I'll continue to add the extra treadmill work in addition to my Maya workout.

The food thing has been hit or miss. I try most of the time, but there's times when it's just not practical. I don't lose sleep over it. If I was obsessed about how fast I could lose the weight, I would be more militant. I prefer the healthy, realistic lifetime lasting lifestlye change. Most of the habits, especially from an eating standpoint, have become habit. The exercise will always be a struggle. While I can make it a part of my routine, it still doesn't take much for me to put it off. However, I know that I'll work out the next day, so I guess in a way it has become a habit... not just a daily habit.

Matt turns 38 tomorrow. He's come so far in changing his lifestyle. He was in his mid 20's when he started seeing the health risks involved with his being overweight and inactive (high blood pressure and an irregular heart beat). He's officially at the 75 lbs lost point. He no longer has an irregular heartbeat. His body fat % is about 8% and he's in such great shape. I'm so proud of him. His biking has changed both of our lives and all for the better. It's improved his health, he's made some absolutely wonderful friends and I enjoy it all as well. (I guess I should also add that biking is an expensive hobby, which is nice when I want to buy yarn).

So it's what keeps me going and trying. Why I'll never stop being aware of what and how much I'm eating. Why I'll always try to stay active. I don't us to slow down as we get older because I can't keep up.